To think this baby shower was inappropriate?

[pagefruits1991]

I went to a baby shower last weekend, for a very close friend. It took months of planning between all the girls involved (mum to be did not 'know').
It cost me £30 plus gifts and travel. The £30 was to cover cheap games bought online and afternoon tea at a local cafe. It also covered m2b and a couple of bottles of booze.
The other girls bought loads of alcohol with this money (processco, we're celebrating! ) which I didn't think was appropriate as the m2b wouldn't be having any, I wouldn't as I was driving and it was at lunchtime on a Sunday.
The afternoon tea wasn't that nice, cheap buns from asda kind of affair and a few sandwiches.
The girls then got a bit lairy and carried on in the local bar with m2b in tow but I went home.
Is it just me or was that a party for them, not for her? I was planning a lovely party with lots of decorations, games, a buffet and cake at my home which would of been free of course but was trumped by the others wanting it to be special.
I also work in catering and offered to make high end cakes etc but my suggestion was actually ignored.
Have babyshowers/hen parties etc etc just got completely out of hand or am I getting old?

user1490607838
They were being unreasonable to get prosecco. It's basically fizzy urine.

Yes, yes!

like Halloween.

Halloween isn't a US tradition.

I wouldn't have enjoyed it much either. I hate drunk folk. But it's done now and there's not a lot you can do about it. You were over-ruled by the majority.

Yanbu. Sounds like about them rather than m2b. Im another who refuse to celebrate or buy any presents prior to birth due to a still birth in the family. Its tempting fate. I havent heard of it apart from on mn though so think its rare. Your party sounds lovely. Could you do it after the baby is born so everyone meets baby if m2b is ok about that

What a shame OP yours sounded lovely! I do think it sounds like a bit more of an excuse for them to have fun rather than the m2b.

Never mind maybe you and your friend can do something nice like your original plan when baby is here?

Hallowe'en itself isn't American, but it has become increasingly popular to celebrate it in a more American style.

You can still have a night out in the pub when you're pregnant. I don't know why people think the minute you see two lines you become like something out of Downton Abbey taking afternoon tea all the time.

If the MTB enjoyed it, then happy days. In my group of friends we've always had an evening where the women have gathered before someone's first baby. We catch up, have a laugh, a couple of drinks for those that want and give the mum some presents for her - nice handcream, smellies for the start of her leave before the baby arrives, posh chocolates etc. Then when baby arrives we buy them clothes etc. Sounds like this baby shower was more along those lines, about the mum getting a night out before baby arrives.

@Fission

If we all thought like that, we wouldn't buy a wedding dress before the wedding day in case the Groom got hit by a bus.

There's enough negativity in pregnancy, it doesn't need inflating to prove a point.

Education about baby loss and what some babies and parents are faced with YES, but not "don't celebrate having a baby as it might die yet" is a horrible way of thinking and just encourages anxiety that mothers to be already have, believe it or not.