Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sleepovers age 6 - Aibu?

41 replies

Timeforachange2018 · 17/03/2018 08:06

My DD age 6 is obsessed with the idea of a sleepover- some of the girls in her class are doing them and she’s feeling left out.
My view is that 6 is too young- she still co-sleeps with me quite a lot and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her going to someone’s house/ having a young kid over here.
I didn’t go on a sleepover until I was 10 and my mum had to come & collect me!!
Aibu? It seems like a ‘thing’ not but I am not that keen yet worry she is missing out!

OP posts:
Stillwishihadabs · 17/03/2018 08:11

Like so much else it depends on the child. Dd had sleepovers from 4/5 ( reception) Ds was more like 6/7. 10 does seem late to me.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 17/03/2018 08:12

I think it depends entirely on the child in question and how well you know/trust the family they'll be staying with.

If you're certain she wouldn't enjoy it and wouldn't sleep well there's not much point organising one, stick to playdates til she's ready.

Original poster
Timeforachange2018 · 17/03/2018 08:13

I think I am also not overly keen on sleepovers generally - my DS has them/goes to them and it’s generally no sleep/meltdowns the next day etc

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 17/03/2018 08:14

DD was in year 3 I think. DS (aged 6) likes the idea but I don't think ready. DD's best friend (year 6) hates them. Last time she tried to stay over I took her home at midnight. My friend's children started in reception when she was unwell, just had to happen.

It's all about the child/situation.

gigi556 · 17/03/2018 08:15

Seriously? I think it's fine... like PP said, may depend on individual child. However, I went to sleep away camp (am American) for 2 weeks starting at age 7.... My nephew goes to the same camp and started at age 6 and definitely does the friend sleep over thing.

kitkatsky · 17/03/2018 08:15

My 6yo has one with a 7yo friend but they’re both used to visiting their dad’s and being away from their mums so works out ok for us. I wouldn’t have another child over

Isthisnameacceptable01 · 17/03/2018 08:16

I think it is too young personally.

Lethaldrizzle · 17/03/2018 08:16

Its fine. Mine started at 5

reluctantbrit · 17/03/2018 08:45

It depends. DD had her first when she was 4 BUT it was a group of girls who met at nursery as babies and we families became friends. All the girls have been to each other’s houses and we let them go with others on day trips. They know the boundaries and know that the other mums can discipline them if necessary.

A school friend who just came for the odd play date - maybe at 10. A friend tried it when the girls were 6 and it ended in a small disaster, parents couldn’t be reached, guest was crying and also behaved awful in general.

I think DD had a phase around 6-7 wher suddenly sleepovers became the thing at school but when you checked it was really just a handful of them and most knew each other quite well before school as well.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 17/03/2018 08:48

You could host as a way of testing it out?

rocketgirl22 · 17/03/2018 08:52

Do you know the family very well? Have you met the parents and trust them?

At such a young age you need to be very confident that they are decent and kind. If the first sleepover is bad they are pretty much ruined from then on out, as your child is unlikely to want to do them again. Not to mention the risk if you don't know the family.

I would have to be feeling very comfortable that she was safe, and then and only then would I allow her to go.

Funkyslippers · 17/03/2018 08:53

6 is still a bit young. But you could give it a go with a child you feel would be well behaved. But the first few times tend to be a novelty with not a great deal of sleep. Even now my DD (nearly 9) and her friend, who stays once a month, don't tend to sleep much before 11 and they're awake about 7. I don't hear them luckily and I am quite strict with noise.

upsideup · 17/03/2018 08:53

4 year old ds goes on sleepovers and has sleepover here. Let her try if she wants to, invite some of her friends round and see how it goes.

TheVanguardSix · 17/03/2018 09:00

Unlike DC1 (we didn't do sleepovers until he was about 7/8 and sporadically at that age. Much more so when he was 9/10/11), DC2 was having them at 5/6. I found it too early but she adapted well and seemed to really enjoy them. Thankfully (she'll be 8 next month), the whole sleepover phase has calmed down. I find it stressful because if your DD is invited for a sleepover, you have to return the favour, which is lovely but kind of draining.

bustedwomb · 17/03/2018 09:28

My DS aged 14 has been having sleepovers with his cousin also 14 since they were 5. But that's only because we are family and they are best friends. My DD is 8 and still hasn't had a sleepover and I am not planning to let her have one anytime soon. Unfortunately we don't have a "matching" cousin for her to have sleepovers with and I simply don't trust anyone enough to let her stay overnight. Not that they would hurt her, but just that would they tell me the truth if she wanted to come home? She still sleeps in with me on weekends when DH is on nights so I just don't think she's really ready anyways. Although she stays with my MIL quite a lot since she was about 5ish and sleeps in granny's big bed and LOVES that special time with her. But obviously my MIL would and does take excellent care of her. If you are not sure then don't let her do it OP.

zeebeedee · 17/03/2018 09:33

with family, from 3 or 4, with friends maybe 7 or 8? DS3 and his friend want to plan a sleepover (friend coming here) DS is 7 and a half, friend nearly 7, year 2. I'm thinking maybe in the summer holidays - DS will be almost 8, they won't have school the next day, parents can be on standby if necessary.......

Deadwood58 · 17/03/2018 09:35

My dd's both had/went to their first sleepovers in year 3.

They were mostly 8th birthday parties, so the 3 or 4 girls would all be 7 or 8.

Personally, I think 7 is a good age for a first sleepover.

AjasLipstick · 17/03/2018 09:40

I'm like you! Mine didn't begin till 8-9. If you're not familiar with the family, then why would you?

Idontevencareanymore · 17/03/2018 09:41

My 6yo likes the idea but I know shed never settle and therefore it's not for us.
I don't think there is a right age so to speak but mine wouldn't cope.
I'd also not like the responsibility of a child of that age under my care overnight.

JaneyEJones · 17/03/2018 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 17/03/2018 09:50

Mine did at 6 with a family we knew well.Her friend came to us first as he was bolder.We had phone calls at bed time and no dramas.
In year 2 they had a school camp/outdoor activities week and it was reassuring to both of us that she would be ok.

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 17/03/2018 09:58

6 is ok if the kids have played at one another's houses a lot. All my kids had sleepovers from 6, but in every case only with best friends whose houses they'd been going to regularly, and who'd been to our house regularly without problems for 2+ years. My middle one only slept over at his bff who lives two doors down til he was 9 because he needed to know that theoretically he could walk home at any point, though that never bothered the other two. They knew our landline number by heart in case they needed to call.

drspouse · 17/03/2018 09:59

My DS is going on his first Beaver sleepover today but DH is also going (though DS is sleeping with the other boys so it's his first time to do that).

Stompythedinosaur · 17/03/2018 10:00

I think sleepovers happen a lot younger than they did when I was young. My 5 and 6 year olds have been to a couple and we'll host one for dd1's 7th birthday. All have been fine.

flissfloss65 · 17/03/2018 10:03

My ds had sleepovers from about 4/5 with close family friends. We knew each other’s children well.

School friends was about 8/9. Worked out fine.