Sleepovers age 6 - Aibu?

[Timeforachange2018]

My DD age 6 is obsessed with the idea of a sleepover- some of the girls in her class are doing them and she’s feeling left out.
My view is that 6 is too young- she still co-sleeps with me quite a lot and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her going to someone’s house/ having a young kid over here.
I didn’t go on a sleepover until I was 10 and my mum had to come & collect me!!
Aibu? It seems like a ‘thing’ not but I am not that keen yet worry she is missing out!

My Dd had her first sleepover at 3, it was with the girl next door and we knew the neighbours well, it also wasn’t far to walk her back if she didn’t settle.

I must say we have no problems with behaviour when the kids come here for sleepovers.

A key is invite only one sleepover guest (or one per child - we have 3 of our own and they have separate rooms, and one guest per child is no problem, but birthday sleepovers where one child has multiple guests equal far less sleep).

The other key is only to invite children already "at home" in your house if they are under 10. So children who know your house rules, where the toilet is, know their friend's siblings etc. I wouldn't invite a 6 year old who hadn't previously been over at least 4 or 5 times to play, ideally for longer than a couple of hours (so 11-6 one weekend day) at least once and been no trouble.

Just one thought, try it out somehow before she goes on a school trip or camp with Brownies/cubs.

We had a class sleepover at school in Y4 and most children had somehow slept over somewhere else before apart from 3 and they did suffer according to the parents.

I'm not a fan of sleepovers at all. You don't know who else will be in the house

My DD was filmed in the shower at a sleepover. By the hosting girls sisters boyfriend. It was hideous.

Ds is 6 next week and has had selected sleepovers for the last 6 months or so. He has a list of friends who he’s happy to sleepover with, generally those with the more nurturing/ cuddly mums I’ve found!

We had a letter home last week about a class sleepover they are having after Easter term. His teacher deserves a medal for that

It does depend on the child. My DD is 7 and her best friends mum has asked if she would like to go for a sleepover and she is very keen but she knows her friends parents well and has been to their house lots of times which obviously helps. If I were you I'd host the sleepover rather that have her stay at someone else's house if that's what concerns you.

My sort of unofficial rule is KS2- so Year 3, 7-8. And depends on the child. Some don’t want to and do t like the pressure. Some want to but the reality is different. There’s really no harm in leaving it till they’re a bit older, imo.

I went to my first sleepover at age 5, I always thought that was normal.

I’m a Brownie Leader and often have girls that have just turned 7 do 4 night Brownie holidays with us. The Rainbows do sleepovers regularly - some of them are 5. Personally I think they are better if they start doing them at a young age. They don’t develop this complex of it being a scary thing to do. We often have problems with older girls doing their first sleepover at age 9 and they end up massively homesick because they haven’t been away at a younger age.

Suckysnow - DD was the first year where the school did this. The children actually brought it up and convinced the headteacher to give it a go. When we dropped her off, her teacher looked a bit shell shocked, I think it just sunk in what they agreed to.

They had the two classes, so 60 children, the two class teacher, a male teacher and male trainee teacher and one female trainee teacher. All bunked down in the hall on gymnastic mats.

It was the highlight of primary school. The downside - the poor teacher now do it every year with the Y4 children.

If she's keen she's probably ready. It's a lovely adventure for most children. They are all different, but also remember that they also act differently when they're away from you... so she might be readier than you realise.

Since she's so keen I'd say it's time to start building up. Don't jump straight in at the deep end. A night with grandparents is a good start, or see if there is a friend who's done sleepovers before and you can host one before sending your DD out. Try a playdate without you. Things like that all help you both be sure you're ready.

My DS6 went on his first with a friend aged 5 and was away with Beavers a few weeks ago. He can be a bit clingy when I'm there but he was absolutely fine, had a fabulous time.

I think 6 is quite young especially as she sometimes still needs you in the night.could she have a trial run at a cousin or granny's house?
I agree with pps that different children are ready at different ages.
I let them from about 9 or 10 depending on child and on how well I knew the parents and how comfortable DC was with the parents.i absolutely hate them for the under 14 or 15 year olds. The poor children look can't sleep and it rarely lives up to their preconceptions. They are wrung out in the morning and tired for days. They play their part for convenience sometimes but otherwise I'm not a fan. I never let them go to sleepovers during term time until they were much older and going to parties.

It's good to do a trial run with cousins or something perhaps?

On one hand its quite young, but on the other hand not too young and sometimes it is better to have sleepovers at 6 where there is still some sort of routine. Kids who aren't allowed sleepovers til later sometimes get over excited and it is sort of hyped up - thats when the sleepless nights and the next day meltdowns occur

I personally think it’s too young sleepovers are a PITA at the best of times for parents and if your DC has a sleepover at yours she is likely to be invited elsewhere to sleep and vice verse. The children rarely sleep if at all at sleepovers and some DC are very early risers etc etc. As a parent I never slee the same with other people’s DC in the house as I worry. 8 - 9 is about right.

It depends on the child and your family situation.
Some children are more outgoing and confident and mix with lots of different children whilst others are more introverted and only used to being with their immediate family all of the time.
I think that often, it's the parents that feel most uncomfortable with it rather than the child.
I don't think I would want my child to go to a sleepover at a friend's if I didn't know their parents well enough though.

My DD9 had been going on regular sleepovers from about 4 when we lived abroad but that was because her two best friends lived in the same apartment block as us, one was literally across the hall and the other was one floor down, so worst case scenario it literally took a maximum of 30 seconds for either of them to be taken home.

Since we moved back to the UK nearly 2.5 years ago she has only been to about 3 sleepovers as it took her a while to settle and make any friends at her new school so she didn't have any sleepovers for the first 18 months. It's only really since the start of this school year that she has been to a sleepover with a school friend as she has finally settled into a fairly stable friendship group.