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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She read my payslip!

54 replies

BearsandHearts · 15/03/2018 17:51

Please help me settle a crappy argument ! We were in work today talking about housemates. When id just graduated I lived with a girl I vaguely knew through uni. Anyway one night she told me we earned the same as she'd picked my wage slip up off the side and read it. I was furious but my colleague thought I'd overreacted! It was years ago but come on surely I'm not being unreasonable??

OP posts:
Whatdoiladymcbeth · 15/03/2018 17:53

Would be fuming. Invasion of privacy and none of her business.

dementedpixie · 15/03/2018 17:53

If you left it out it's fair game!

RedSkyAtNight · 15/03/2018 17:53

I would say it depends on whether it was

  1. Left in a communal space in plain view and she picked it up without realising what it was
  2. In your room, such that she'd have to snoop through your stuff to find it.

If (1) kind of your fault for leaving it out.

mum11970 · 15/03/2018 17:54

Don’t leave private information around if you don’t want it read. Can’t say I’d be outraged by it.

Bexterfish · 15/03/2018 17:54

You left it out. If you were bothered you shouldn't have left it. Bit rude to read it but I think your over reacting

user1493413286 · 15/03/2018 17:54

Some people are very private about money and some people aren’t; as you left it lying about she probably thought you were open about it

unfortunateevents · 15/03/2018 17:54

Define "off the side".

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 17:56

what RedSkyAtNight said

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2018 17:56

Bit nosey but I couldn't get all furious about it, if I'd left it out.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 15/03/2018 17:56

It was sealed and I assume had fallen out of my diary when I got it from my bag

OP posts:
Dangerousmonkey · 15/03/2018 17:57

She was out of order. It's not exactly hard to avoid reading people's personal stuff. And to those who think something left out is fair game I am surprised. Would you think it fair game if someone took your wallet if you left it in a communal area?

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 15/03/2018 17:57

'The side' in our house is the worktop bit in the kitchen, so definitely communal area.

ReasonableLlama · 15/03/2018 17:59

Some people are nosey bastards.

My housemate once opened my payslip as she thought it was hers (same initial and last name - joys of having a common surname). She enjoyed telling me how much more she earned than I did. She knew full well it wasn't hers as I got the payslip sent to our house every week stamped with my company name on the back.

YANBU I would be annoyed too!

zippey · 15/03/2018 18:04

Some victim blaming going on here.

DramaAlpaca · 15/03/2018 18:07

I'd be livid. I'm very private about stuff like that.

cuttingcarbonemissions · 15/03/2018 18:09

YABU for worrying about it years after the event. Move on!

For future reference, if you leave stuff lying about people will look at it. Maybe they should not, but they will. If you want to keep something confidential put it away.

Deadwood58 · 15/03/2018 18:12

Being totally honest, if you'd left it out, I would have read it.

But I certainly wouldn't have told you that I'd read it - I'd have kept it to myself.

Original poster
BearsandHearts · 15/03/2018 18:12

I have moved on thanks I shared the experience during a conversation at work

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 15/03/2018 18:14

She had to open it!!

steff13 · 15/03/2018 18:14

If it was left out in a communal area (I'm not 100% sure what on the side is - on the side of what?), then I personally wouldn't have looked at it but I couldn't get mad at someone who did, since I left it out.

If it was sealed and she opened it, then I'd be angry, regardless of where it was left.

Some victim blaming going on here.

The OP isn't really a victim, this is just an annoying thing that happened. We do sometimes have to accept responsibility for our actions.

LML83 · 15/03/2018 18:16

if she picked it up or moved it at all to see it that's extremely rude.

If it was lying out face up then she may have seen it before even realising what it was.

If it was a while ago and otherwise a good friend I would move on but be a bit disappointed in her I wouldn't show anger now.

JacksGirl123 · 15/03/2018 18:17

So it was years ago as you said. Why work yourself up enough to ask strangers on the internet? Confused

StealthPolarBear · 15/03/2018 18:17

She opened it

TheTab · 15/03/2018 18:19

Mmmmm, I wouldn't leave a wage slip out if I didn't want anyone to read it. If someone else's wage slip was in the side, not in an envelope I would be tempted to have a sneaky peak.

I would never open an envelope or go in someone's room or take it out of a drawer, but on the side? Yeh.

JacksGirl123 · 15/03/2018 18:19

And people really need to stop throwing about 'victim blaming'. A victim has had a crime committed against them. The definition of victim isn't 'someone did something shit or I don't like'.