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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be in a foul mood due to a vivid dream?

29 replies

Namechangedtoscream · 15/03/2018 09:04

I forgot this happened in pregnancy and last night I had the most horrific dream that my husband was cheating on me - complete with texts emails and a full image of what she looks like and her name - and after discovering that I proceeded to lose the baby.

I had an awful nights sleep last night as a result and am biting everyone's head off.

AIBU to be in a foul mood after a dream like that?

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 15/03/2018 09:09

Not unreasonable to be in a foul mood, but a bit unreasonable to actually take it out on people.

I've had a few of those, and they're horrendous, but just saying "sorry, I've had a horrible dream and it has affected my mood quite badly" will at least help people around you understand. And try your best not to lash out. :)

Amortentia · 15/03/2018 09:11

You’ve have my sympathy. I used to have the exact same kind of dreams and it really got to me it seemed so real. Myhusband found it hilarious which just enraged me more but I can laugh about it now.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 15/03/2018 12:44

I had a really vivid dream that my granny had dementia and we lost her and I spent ages driving around looking for her...I spent most of the day after feeling really miserable and wondering whether I should ring my dad and get him to go and check on her - before realising that my brain couldn't have picked a more obvious metaphor for me worrying about her eventual death if it tried. She's in good health and sharp as a tack mentally! I'm not pregnant so it's not just pregnancy screwing with your mind.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 15/03/2018 12:51

It can work both ways - I had a very explicit and thoroughly pleasurable dream about a celebrity once and actually spent the next day wavering between arousal and guilt! (Wasn't pregnant)

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/03/2018 15:10

I’ve had dreams where dh has been really awful to me, and made me really upset, and I’ve found it very hard to let go of the feeling that he should apologise to me, the next day.

I think it’s because the dreams are so emotional, they tap directly into your feelings, so they create very intense feelings when you wake up, and even though you know, logically, that it was just a dream, and they’ve done nothing wrong, it is hard to get past the feelings.

Nomad86 · 15/03/2018 15:19

First pregnancy I used to dream my DH died. In a different scenario each time. I'd wake up sobbing then remind myself that dh isn't fighting in ww2 so it was probably fine. 2nd pregnancy I'd dream he cheated on me, then I'd wake up annoyed that he'd left me for someone uglier than me. DH said he preferred the ones where he died Grin

paap1975 · 15/03/2018 15:32

Not pregnant but had a dream that DP had cheated on me and woke up furious. Had to get it out of my system by telling him all about it, including how I had (in the dream) spread the information all over FaceBook for everyone to see. Took me ages to calm down.

wordvomit · 15/03/2018 16:36

When I was pregnant I kept dreaming my dad was secretly gay and hiding his boyfriends under the stairs where they would have sex parties behind my mums back...

Dreams are dreams Smile

PaperdollCartoon · 15/03/2018 16:40

I feel your pain. I’ve always been a very vivid dreamer and sometimes find the emotions I feel in the dream hard to kick for a while after I wake up. DP is used to me being mad at dream him in real life now.

Fruitcocktail6 · 15/03/2018 16:50

Ugh I've had a vivid dream every night since becoming pregnant. Last night (in the dream) DP was acting irrationally jealous of the one man I work with in an otherwise all female workplace. So I left him and got back together with my first every boyfriend. I was still pregnant in dream though so boyfriend was a bit shocked when he found out.

Fruitcocktail6 · 15/03/2018 16:50

*first ever

CruCru · 15/03/2018 16:58

When I was in my early twenties, I dreamt that I had a ten year old son. I really loved him and we did loads of things together (in the dream). Then I woke up and he was gone. I am nearly forty and still sad about it.

Justgivemesomepeace · 15/03/2018 17:01

I was on a diet once. I had been for quite a while and had been really strict with myself. I dreamed I was eating a Holland's meat and potato pie. I could taste that pie. DP woke me up in the middle of it and I was absolutely fuming. I couldn't snap out of it for a few hours.

MereDintofPandiculation · 15/03/2018 17:04

I used to be quite horrible to my DM because I'd rowed with her in my dream.

CadyHeron · 15/03/2018 19:37

Lol, sorry, nothing to add but this is reminding me of that Friends episode where Phoebe is mad at Ross and he has no idea why. Grin
"Why are you mad at me?!"
"I don't know,I just AM. "

One game of Which Do You Prefer later....
"I remember now! We were playing chess, by the lake and then you took your energy mask off and you were Cameron Diaz! Okay,there's a possibility this was a dream..." lol Grin

LeighaJ · 15/03/2018 20:00

It's fine to be in a bad mood over that but not to take it out on others or even worse treat your husband poorly over something you dreamed which isn't his fault.

Poppins2016 · 15/03/2018 20:28

@CadyHeron

I came on here to post the same thing! I often think of that scene when talking about dreams, it's brilliant... Grin

Backscratchesforever · 15/03/2018 20:39

You are not being unreasonable at all!!!
I get this same dream very often and react the same because it feels so real.

I had one the other week, where my dp used our two yr old as a tripod for shooting a shot gun! He ended up shooting through the neck and shoulder, with our dc2 dying. It was harrowing, I woke up and ran into my dc2 room and didn’t let go for about 2 hours! I didn’t speak to my husband all day. I couldn’t stand to even look at him.

DiplomaticDecorum · 15/03/2018 22:15

When I was pregnant I dreamt that I gave birth to an egg that hatched into a dragon. Very vivid. Still makes me feel sick now thinking about it. The 'egg' is now in his 13th year .......

Echobelly · 15/03/2018 22:45

I am definitely a little 'off-beam' after I've had a very intense or vivid dream, they do seem to have after effects. Maybe they can indicate overly heavy or light sleep or something? Pregnancy ones were extra weird, yes!

WinstonlovesJulia1984 · 16/03/2018 08:39

I still remember 2 pregnancy dreams even now 29 years later: in one I gave birth to a monster and in the other I gave birth in a hospital in the middle of a desert - somebody then stole my baby and I was running up and down the corridors searching for her.

Very vivid!

morningconstitutional2017 · 16/03/2018 08:45

I'd try not to take it out on others but obviously this dream is very real to you and it's bound to upset you.

People say that a dream is your innermost mind trying to work out a problem, who can say?

lamettarules · 16/03/2018 09:33

Another vivid dreamer here ,not pregnant .

I find it's best if I can remember the dream ,then I know what's affecting my mood .

Easier to shake those awful feelings of dread/guilt/whatever .

sinceyouask · 16/03/2018 09:51

Years and years ago, DH had a dream that I had kissed someone else. He was grumpy with me for most of the next day. Dreams can be very, very vivid and even when we know it was just a dream, I think some part of us fails to recognise that and our emotional response is as if it actually happened.

user1485778793 · 16/03/2018 10:07

I'm pregnant and had a horrendous dream last night. Mine always involve wild animals attacking people. I woke up but even though I was awake I was still carrying on the dream for ages, I was re running scenarios from the dream. It was very frightening at the time.

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