to find these types of Facebook posts really offensive?

[80sMum]

I see this sort of thing all the time and what's really surprising is that they are posted and shared by people who should know better. One of my FB friends is a nurse - and she's shared this rubbish today!

Why do people do this? Do they really think that the rest of us (the 97% who don't share) think that cancer is great or that we don't care about our friends and family (or total strangers) who have, or have had, or have died from cancer? It really irritates me!

And another thing! A cancer sufferer is not in a "battle", they are just trying to get the best treatment they can and hoping for a good outcome. To call it a battle implies that if you don't fight hard enough, you lose.

I find these posts appallingly insensitive and terribly childish.

Does anyone else agree, or am I just a grumpy old woman who's BU?

You're not being U. These posts are just stupid.

Yadnbu

Firstly it presumes that the person with cancer only wants to be rid of the cancer, who knows if they also want a new house our for their kid to learn to walk or their hubby to get a new job. It reduces their role in life to person with cancer who had nothing else about them.

I don't get thyme battling, fighting thing till a conversation with someone whose baby died at 4 months commenting on something similar, that their baby didn't die because it didn't try hard enough.

And I resent the insinuation that most people won't because they're awful. No, its because your post is annoying. And the statistic I'd clearly made up.

I refuse to share similar posts about people with any time of condition because ours always oh I know you probably won't post bit if you were a better person you would

Absolutely agree with you - I never share those type of posts.
I also can't stand Pink Ribbon etc.

Have you read Barbara Erhenreich's book Smile or Die? Recommend it
www.amazon.com/Smile-Die-Barbara-Ehrenreich-ebook/dp/B003DX0HWC?tag=mumsnetforum-21

I don't share those either.It reminds me of the chain type letters you got through the post in the 80s (old).
"Send this on to 10 more friends or there'll be a pox on your houses/ fingers will fall off/bad luck will bestow you type thing.
It's merely the FB and social media age equivalent. Instead of binning,you just roll your eyes and scroll on by.

I tend not to comment when friends share these types of post, because I don't want to publicly embarrass them. But I am so tempted to reply with something along the lines of "FFS will you be stop sharing this utter crap!!"

They are so pointless! They piss me off because they are such a waste of time. How is posting it going to help? YANBU!

That book looks interesting, TanteRose. Thanks.

Do the people who share these things really think 'oh the people who don't share this obviously LOVE when people get cancer?'

Who hasn't had a family member/friend/colleague suffer from cancer? It affects almost everyone at some point in their life.

It's so self-righteous and smug.

I make a point of refusing to share those passive aggressive posts that contain wording along the lines of "most of my friends won't share this, I bet I know who will". In fact I've been known to respond saying precisely that.

What also bugs me is that it's all so false. How on earth does it help people with cancer if someone has shared a meaningless Facebook post? Wouldn't it be more useful if they went out and did some fundraising for cancer research, for example?

I just had this situation!

I got sick of the acceleration of this kind of thing from one FB friend...once in a while ok, but not every week.

I replied (publicly) ‘Julie, I don’t want you to think I’m ignoring you, but I have a personal policy about these kinds of posts. I don’t think they’re as helpful to a good cause as people hope. I know your intentions are good. If you’d like to join me, I’ve just put myself on this register for cancer research participants. They really need more people involved, and it’s been a lovely experience so far! Happy day.’

I wish I could say I was ‘zen’ enough to just scroll past these posts, but this kind of weird guilt-inducing virtue-signalling really gets my goat.

By the way- she signed up, and I got several private messages from mutual friends applauding my stance. I think I’ll do it every time I see one of these (substituting a donation link maybe?), into the future.

Do I get my Grumpy Middle-aged Lady badge now?

My Uncle ends to share these things but I forgive him as he spends most of his time looking after my seriously ill Aunt. FB is as much social itneraction as he gets most days due to location and the naure of her illness.

Everyone else gets 2 strikes and they are out.

All these kind of posts are manipulative and virtue signalling.

I ignore them but think less of anyone who posts them.

Yanbu. I wouldn’t post this in a million years but I can’t sleep at the moment because In the morning I will find out if there is any possible treatment that will stop the progress of my cancer. I can’t fight I can only hope that I have options that give me more than a few months.

I'm sorry you're going through that newschmoo, that must be unbelievably frightening

Thinking of you Newshmoo and hoping you get some good news

I agree that these posts are shite and trite but I’d like to disagree about your opinion that someone with cancer is not in a battle.
Cancer is a battle. It’s a fight everyday. You have to stay strong and fight with everything you have to try and stay the person you were to the people you love and to yourself.
It’s an uphill battle and one that many lose.
I think the word battle is very apt.

I couldnt disagree more.

Its not a battle anymore than a car accident or Parkinsons or a stroke is a battle.

You can do your best to avoid these things but sometimes shit happens and no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, that same shit takes your life. Calling it a battle implies that those who die have somehow not fought hard enough, which is utter bullshit and actually very offensive.

And I cannot believe you would post that shortly after what New posted.

I'm in the boat of they're ridiculous and I do call people out for posting them. My grandad didn't loose his battle with cancer, he died from it plain and simple. It just takes away from the fact that he survived long enough to see his second oldest grandchild get married or my son get to 6 months old. He tried Damn well hard and didn't loose some battle, it took him away from us, just like the myriad of other things people die of.

I saw that post on FB. and thought it was one of the worst virtue signaling share-me post I’d ever seen. I never share-on FB VS posts.

I hate those posts too, and never share. Its meaningless offensive drivel.

YADNBU. Can't stand those posts.

Good luck Newsboo 🤞💐

I hate these posts. Mawkish, guilt tripping nonsense. A dear friend of mine is dying of cancer and all the stupid reposts in the world won’t change that.

New schmoo I'm so sorry.
A relative of mine actually posted something about cannabis oil curing cancer yesterday. I do ignore the type of crap in the op, I don't want to get into a FB slanging match but it was difficult not to comment on that one.