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Original poster

to find these types of Facebook posts really offensive?

105 replies

80sMum · 15/03/2018 01:13

I see this sort of thing all the time and what's really surprising is that they are posted and shared by people who should know better. One of my FB friends is a nurse - and she's shared this rubbish today!

Why do people do this? Do they really think that the rest of us (the 97% who don't share) think that cancer is great or that we don't care about our friends and family (or total strangers) who have, or have had, or have died from cancer? It really irritates me!

And another thing! A cancer sufferer is not in a "battle", they are just trying to get the best treatment they can and hoping for a good outcome. To call it a battle implies that if you don't fight hard enough, you lose.

I find these posts appallingly insensitive and terribly childish.

Does anyone else agree, or am I just a grumpy old woman who's BU?

to find these types of Facebook posts really offensive?
OP posts:
NeeChee · 15/03/2018 06:23

I dislike these kind of posts.
Some of the ones about mental health, you could argue it increases awareness and helps people talk about it more, but FGS actually type some of your own words rather than blindly following one of the 'copy and paste' templates. I immediately turn off when I realise its one of those. It seems uncaring, lazy and patronising.

TheHulksPurplePants · 15/03/2018 06:23

My MIL shares this shite all the time. I ignore. Worst is the stupid PM's you get about breast cancer along the lines of "Put the color of your underwear as a status to support breast cancer awareness". Because writing blue as a status makes people aware of breast cancer somehow? Hmm

GlitterandSequins · 15/03/2018 06:25

I can understand why some people disagree with calling it a fight/battle etc but for some people that is the best way to describe it. I am currently going through chemotherapy for breast cancer and it is a bloody battle for me every single day, simple things that I used to take for granted now feel like climbing mountains (on my bad days it can take nearly 2 hours just to shower and put clean clothes on, on my worst days I can't do it without help which is pretty hard to get your head around at 31). I am in no way saying that those who don't survive do not fight hard enough and if I don't survive it certainly will not be for lack of fighting this bastard disease.

Fletch80 · 15/03/2018 06:32

Apart from the reasons already mentioned isn't it just a form of data phishing? There's a reason why they always say you must share and not copy and paste.

Sallystyle · 15/03/2018 06:32

I hate them. My children's dad died from cancer. It was never a battle. People don't survive cancer because they are 'super strong' and 'never gave up the fight'. I have an acquaintance on FB who has cancer right now and so many people post to her telling her how cancer will never win against her. She is too strong, has too much to live for etc. All with good intentions, but it makes me wince and it hurts. I don't know if she finds it helpful or not, but we all know that cancer doesn't work like that.

No one bloody likes cancer. Pretty much all of us have lost someone because of cancer, or have watched loved ones in treatment for it.

I also hate that I have had four PMs asking me to post a heart smilie for breast cancer prevention week.

I usually post something helpful, factual signs to look out for etc. What the fuck is a heart going to do?

StealthPolarBear · 15/03/2018 06:34

Glitter, love and best wishes. Completely take your point about your daily life being a battle Flowers

newshmoo74 · 15/03/2018 06:36

Thank you to you all for your messages of support, glitter I hope your treatment goes well and that your side effects become easier to handle.

littlebillie · 15/03/2018 06:36

It os another form of chain letter and the DCS are getting them now on what's app if you don't share your family will die etc horrible I never share anything.

wanderings · 15/03/2018 06:36

"Cancer we're coming to get you". Can nobody see the irony of that slogan?

QOD · 15/03/2018 06:40

@U2HasTheEdge I usually share a fact sheet on how to examine your breasts and signs of cancer (dimpling etc) with the comment ‘more useful than a heart’
Last time I got several ‘likes’ and an ‘angry’ - from the person who’d pm’d me 🙄

lljkk · 15/03/2018 06:40

tbh, even worse is the "I'm culling all my FB friends who I don't really NEED unless you respond here to say how we met". So daft. Byeeeeeeeeeeeee

CookieWarbler · 15/03/2018 06:51

Newschmoo and Glitter Flowers
My Mum is currently going through treatment for an advanced form of rare cancer and in my darker moments I want to respond to these posts saying 'obviously I'm not sharing as I want my Mum to die' but I don't and scroll through rolling my eyes. I found the pressure of the no make-up selfie a couple of years ago worse. Anyone who challenged me got sent a link to donate to cancer research, which incidentally, I would point out, I had been donating to for years and had no need to post a picture of myself looking shit to prove it!

'Battle' is an interesting one. Like Glitter says, Mum 'battles' to stay positive, get up in the morning and it feels like a battle! That is not in any way to suggest anyone else isn't battling or fighting hard enough. What I find hard is all the people (kindly meant) saying 'you got this!', 'you can beat this', 'you're stronger than this' - stronger than advanced agressive cancer? That feels like a huge burden to place on anyone.

ProperLavs · 15/03/2018 06:57

I never share anything and am astounded how many of my 'friends' who I thought were sensible, educated people actually share this shit on an almost daily basis,.

Inthedeepdarkwinter · 15/03/2018 06:58

You have to stay strong and fight with everything you have to try and stay the person you were to the people you love and to yourself

I think it's fine to have that as a goal for yourself, but people with cancer shouldn't be exhorted to be anything by other people, especially be positive/strong/amazing. The people I know with cancer are often strong in the face of terrible stress and pain, but they are also human, weak, stressed, find it hard to sleep at times. I think it's a lot of pressure on someone to be told 'stay strong' and stay the person you were- what about with brain cancer, those people can't stay the same as the disease often changes their personality, that's the whole point of why it is difficult!

There's a difference between you wanting to be strong, and wanting to stay 'you', and someone from outside telling you that's the only acceptable response to cancer.

GlitterandSequins · 15/03/2018 07:03

I honestly do agree with what alot of you are saying, I also despise those posts unless they are from someone who is genuinely supporting cancer research in other ways. Many people just post them to try and gain likes which frustrates the hell out of me.

To be honest it hasn't been until going through this myself that I've been aware of how things that so many of us say can be taken the wrong way, but I do think that each person/family will have their own way of dealing with it/describing it's and who am I to criticise the language they choose to use.

As I said previously for me it is a battle to remain positive and try and keep my life as 'normal as possible throughout treatment, however I cannot stand (and get far too pissed off!) when people refer to me as being brave. This is something I would have said myself in the past but now completely gets my back up as for me nothing about what I am doing is brave it's the only choice I have if I want to survive.

Flowers Cake Gin to all those who are dealing with this shit of a disease in any shape or form.

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 07:14

On the fence, sorry.

Some people post that the way they would post a chain letter.
Others because they are in the middle of it, and it's a way to acknowledge or share the issue - nothing wrong with that, people deal with things the best they can.

I very strongly disagree that raising awareness can be a negative. Do you know how many people have no clue what DIPG is for example? Do you know how a pediatric terminal brain tumor has next to no funding? Parents fighting for their kids, when there are no treatment, no facilities adapted for kids must be desperate for something to be done.

If a thing as simple as wearing a grey and gold ribbon could help raise awareness and ultimately funding, then so be it. After all, the ice bucket challenge might have been a media circus, but a lot of money came out of it.

Sallystyle · 15/03/2018 07:15

Thanks Thanks Glitter

metalmum15 · 15/03/2018 07:21

I hate it when people send you messages saying 'please put a heart on your wall for whatever reason' and then you see loads of random hearts in your news feed. It doesn't mean anything and it won't help anything - and 99% of your friends will probably just think 'wtf is that heart all about?' and scroll on. I ignore.

redcarbluecar · 15/03/2018 07:24

I agree that it's not necessarily a bad thing to raise awareness, and probably effective to use social media as it's so well populated. I think it's the 97% of you won't share, 3% of you will that is most irritating. I'm always happy to be in the resounding majority.

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 07:26

you might not share, but you have read about it, and if you were a celebrity and decided to get involved, or remembered seeing that someone, then the funding campaign would get a boost.

thelastredwinegum · 15/03/2018 07:29

I just think of this when I see these posts

me.me/market?meme_id=4139716

thelastredwinegum · 15/03/2018 07:30

Pic...

to find these types of Facebook posts really offensive?
lljkk · 15/03/2018 07:32

silly fundraisers, After reply to a post saying WTF? & you need to send £5 to charity & reshare. Just screw that.

Alabama3 · 15/03/2018 07:32

I normally think that 'who isn't aware of cancer' when I see these??

I then report them as sexually explicit (like all the other bloody adverts on fb at the moment)

cucaracha · 15/03/2018 07:33

I normally think that 'who isn't aware of cancer' when I see these??

Are you aware of DIPG?