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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be absolutely livid at dd?

70 replies

parfinter · 13/03/2018 20:25

So I have just been informed that dd (14) has been snorting ibuprofen (?!) at school this lunchtime. I’m so disappointed after all the conversations we’ve had over peer pressure and the like. Obviously this is not ok, but I can’t seem to get her to understand how bad this is. She doesn’t think it’s that bad as ‘it said when she looked it up’. :(

How can I make her understand how bad this is :(

OP posts:

Bexter801 · 13/03/2018 22:56

I smoked banana leaves and snorted co codamol once at 13,didn't know how stupid I was being(especially banana leaves :/) anyhoo,instead of being angry,just try educate her on how dangerous it is (without sounding like lecturing).....

Aftershock15 · 13/03/2018 23:13

I don’t think fra had the posts removed for being abusive. They must have been the ones saying that nurofen with Codeine is no longer available over the counter (and I guess therefore not addictive?) so snorting is less of a problem? Maybe that’s not true but given lots of advice here is often total garbage I’m not sure why they were deleted and other rubbish is let stand.

CuboidalSlipshoddy · 13/03/2018 23:24

nurofen with Codeine is no longer available over the counter

That's not true. It isn't on open shelves in supermarkets, but it's over-the-counter from a pharmacy. It isn't a prescription-only drug. And you can get it by mail-order, too.

www.chemistdirect.co.uk/nurofen-plus-200mg-tablets/prd-gus

Graphista · 13/03/2018 23:39

Yanbu to be livid which I suspect is also coming from fear of her doing even worse/hurting herself

Have you ever sat down with her and discussed drug taking? I mean discussed not lectured? (I understand the temptation). Acknowledge the peer pressure, excitement but also the down sides. Not just the chemicals but a foreign body in her lungs causing permanent damage (if not death if she's very unlucky, maybe ask her if she thinks the friends she's doing this with would call you or an ambulance if she couldn't breathe?) Damage to her nose that will affect her appearance.

I lost someone I loved dearly to an od, but of course it's a long road to that final od, they started with so called "soft" drugs. No adults talked to her about this until she was in way too deep.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 13/03/2018 23:39

Ibuprofen? Seriously? How weird.

...mind you, I spent my teenage years overseas, there were these leaves that apparently if you dried them out in the microwave then smoked them were the same as opium. Fuck only knows what they were, but we all survived. I coughed more than I inhaled 😂🤣

Even sensible kids can be bloody stupid. Knowing my parents would go absolutely batshit & never let me out of the house again kept me from letting myself get into too much trouble. I needed my parents to be parents, not friends, I think most kids do.

Aftershock15 · 13/03/2018 23:40

So I’m guessing it was considered misleading? But I’m not sure it was done maliciously was it? Still seems odd to delete for that when so much crap is posted as fact on here and allowed to stay.

GrandTheftWalrus · 13/03/2018 23:50

I was accused of sniffing tippex when I was at school. I was in a woodwork class and smelt something funny so I smelt my bottle of tippex to see if it was that. Teacher saw me and they wouldn't listen to reason.

It was horrible to be accused of something I didn't do and even though it was 20 odd years ago it still annoys me.

How did you find you she had been doing it?

Kitchenbound · 14/03/2018 02:31

I wouldn't go the punishment route - maybe if nothing else works but honestly think punishment will just close the door of communication. Try to talk to her understand why she did it (i mean come on 99% of people do something stupid when they young) and explain the real consequences. I'm not against scaring the shit out of her though with some horrifying pics!

Coyoacan · 14/03/2018 03:09

I needed my parents to be parents, not friends, I think most kids do

Being a parent is educating your teenager for adult life. You can threaten them all you like and it might work until they leave home, but if you give them good information to help them make choices that will serve them all their lives.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 14/03/2018 03:18

The people who want her punished, sent to the police, sent to another school are living on another planet.

Didn’t any of you do stupid stuff as a teenager? I know I did and continued doing it way into my 20s.

Wake up. The ones with the strictest parents were always the ones who had no idea how to pace themselves or get themselves out of dangerous situations.

Coyoacan · 14/03/2018 03:52

Wake up. The ones with the strictest parents were always the ones who had no idea how to pace themselves or get themselves out of dangerous situations

interesting, because that is true of my anecdotal experience among fellow mothers. Among five of us, the two who were the strictest have by far had the worst problems with their children.

I don't agree with being cool about them taking drugs or getting drunk, but these conducts have their own built-in punishments. The idea is to explain the price that is paid in taking such things.

SD1978 · 14/03/2018 03:55

I dried up and tried to smoke bonjela- got told as it was an anaesthetic it would get you giggly........
But in regards to this- why did she tell you? Showing off? To upset you? Or because you have an open relationship. Was there a group of them, was she a ringleader or a follower? Was it her idea or someone else’s? She’s not hiding it from you- so is it the shock factor? I’m not saying to ignore it, or to ounce sh for it, I’d need to ask her a bit more info and make my decision from there.

Notwellbitch · 14/03/2018 04:04

She might not get high but it is definitely abused by young girls to numb themselves. I was shocked to hear this as I thought it was just used for physical pain, but had a great talk at school from an ex teenage addict. Ibruprofen was what she started with.

I've heard it all now , ibuprofen - the real gateway drug. I mean, it's an anti inflammatory, it's not going to "numb" anything.

I would be more concerned that she thinks snorting drugs is cool. Time for an honest chat about drugs

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/03/2018 04:42

Notwellbitch
Plenty of people get addicted to otc and prescription painkillers. Look up ibuprofen addiction instead of spouting crap. What is there to not understand?

Notwellbitch · 14/03/2018 05:40

Yes I am aware that people get addicted to OTC painkillers containing codeine and prescription painkillers. Ibuprofen is not addictive and is not going to get you high or "numb" you emotionally as suggested. It just isn't.

Notwellbitch · 14/03/2018 05:49

Did you look up ibuprofen addiction?because it doesn't actually exist. Nurofen plus, yes because that contains codeine as well as ibuprofen, and has the potential for physical and psychological addiction.

This is a kid doing a stupid thing because she thinks its cool. She's not going to get addicted or suddenly progress on to harder drugs as a result. Now is the time to talk honestly about drugs and their effects and dangers, not over react and try to scare her.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/03/2018 06:33

This article amongst others explains psychological addiction. Children using it to numb themselves I would have thought would be considered a psychological addiction. www.steadyhealth.com/medical-answers/ibuprofen-addiction-symptoms-and-withdrawal-effects

Ohyesiam · 14/03/2018 06:36

@cuboidal thank you, i’ve Not seen that for years!
Op I did stupid stuff like that. A boy I knew snorted a line of chilli powder

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 14/03/2018 12:18

coyacan

My kids aren't that age yet, but I do find it absolutely mad that people go off on one when their own kids do dumb stuff. Like you, I'm far from the 'cool mum' who would let their kids smoke and drink and stuff, but I'm not so dumb to think it will never happen, nor to think that me going off on a mad rant is going to stop them doing anything.

My own mum thought I was good as gold; she was so strict that I was terrified of her and never told her anything. Of course, I drank, smoked, took drugs and shagged around LOADS. And I got myself in some right messes and didn't have anyone to help me get out of those situations because I knew she'd just lose the plot. We have almost no relationship now because I know she'll just judge me/yell at me for every little thing.

My husband's parents are the total opposite. He did a lot of stupid stuff when he was young but they really just put up with it - now he's super close with them and he's the most stable person I know.

Anecdotal evidence, but he has always said that he respects his parents so much for allowing him to make mistakes and for always supporting him - not in a 'my son can do no wrong' way, but he knows he can go to them and not be judged.

geekone · 14/03/2018 12:38

Ibuprofen is very acidic if you take it without water it can burn your oesophagus (I say this as someone who works with pharma products and someone who has burned their oesophagus). It will do the same to a nose though when powderd will do it over time. Ibuprofen is an anti inflammatory yes but it can be used topically this means that you could burn your nasal passages but snorting the ibuprofen will stop that pain quicker than swallowing it as it is topical it will also target that site and allow other drugs to be snorted without pain.

Nurofen and ibuprofen are exactly the same. Any version containing codine lysine etc can be bought in generic form not just nurofen. Nurofen is only a trade name and a way of getting people to unnecessarily pay more money for the same product

I would be upset if my DS did this for so many reasons but mainly because you hope you bring them up to be clever. I think teenagers have a stupid gene though which mutates (hopefully) through time. I don't have any parental words of wisdom but if she has done it a few times please watch her nose for damage.

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