If you were a mum of an adult would be offended if

[alligatortoss]

Their mother in law signed their birthday card from mum?

If you had a good relationship with your child.

nope

No

I would be happy that my daughter had such a good relationship with her MIL. However, I would also be a bit miffed because I've had to be a mum and dad to my daughter, so I think I couldn't help but feel the MIL was stepping on my toes on a little by using 'my title'.

I wouldn’t be offended but I do think it’s weird.

I’m married to a Korean and one of the hardest things for me is that his mum is referred to as ‘mum’ and my own mum is referred to as something like ‘outsider mum’. I really hate it. My MIL refers to her as ‘British mum’ which I suppose is slightly better but still really jarring to me. She’s just my mum, not my British mum, and I’m sure she’d hate if I called her Korean mum.

As the adult child I'd be if my MiL signed a card to me from "Mum". She isn't my Mum, she's DH's. Thankfully she has sense and she signs it from .

No, I find it odd I will admit but my aunt always referred to my grandad and Gran, her in laws as Mum and Dad, my grandparents never signed themselves as that to their in laws. I remember my Dads cards where signed love from Charles and Esme (or other similarly posh names) we just assumed it was a working class thing? Not in a look down way but more a when in Rome. I think my grandparents liked it, they never objected to it and they where not backward about coming forward. I always felt a little bit jealous of my aunt because the whole mum and dad thing seemed so easy for her, I found my grandparents quite formal but they embraced it with her.

I would be annoyed. It would be a turf thing. My children have one mother and that is me. I wouldn't do this to a DD or DS in law of mine.

The MIL I didn't get on with used to do it.

The MIL I loved and miss terribly didn't.

Which makes me think it's got nothing to do with love, respect or closeness.

My mil died before I married so it would be odd to me. My dd isn’t old enough to marry. All in all it’s hard for me to imagine this. If my mother started calling herself to my dh, I would hate it. But that’s because she’s a narcissist and it would be a territorial thing. As is, she definitely sees him as different. Well, not surprising when he’s married to the scapegoat daughter.

No, I would just think the mil was friendly and was a "Just call me mum" person.

I understand people do it but it is actually a bit uncestuous at the root - ‘I have two children and they are married to each other’.

I wouldn't be offended but I'd think she was competitive and sad.
I'd laugh.

I would have hated MIL to have done that but my mum died when I was a teen and it was a sore subject. For my adult dc it might grate a little but then they don't call me mum, I have a pet name they use, so I wouldn't see it as her stepping in my shoes I don't suppose. If she signed it my pet name I'd be offended.

My Pils did this for a bit which I thought was odd. I couldn't bear being sent cards signed 'Dad' after my DF died so asked them to stop which they did.

I wouldn't like it but it wouldn't 'offend' me

I think it's a bit odd.

Would not be offended at all.

I'd ignore it but be a bit annoyed. My mum is dead. She is irreplaceable. If my mil ever tried a stunt like pretending to be a surrogate mum to me, I'd be pissed off. But privately. Unless she said similar shit to me overtly, I'd ignore and ask my dh to have a quiet word.

Mine signs it Mum ‘insert first initial’, if my dm has noticed she has never commented. I’d think it was lovely if my dc had that.

I'd think it's strange (and wonder if MIL was feeling OK, because she doesn't even mind that the grandkids use her first name rather than calling her gran/nan/whatever), but I wouldn't worry or feel angry - we have a good relationship and she's lovely.

Just like I can't imagine being offended by my future son's MILs doing it - assuming it wasn't part of some abusive behaviour pattern obviously.

DSiL always called DPiL Mum & Dad. I always called them by their first names.

I think it reflected the different relationships we had. They werent parents to me but were to DSiL (mutual view).

I think DPiL would have liked to be Mum & Dad as their respective PiL had been to them but it wasnt what I wanted.

No but I take it you are

My BIL calls my mum ‘ma’ fucking hate it. She’s not?
She referred to him once as ‘my son’ and I corrected her
Only she, dsis and 1 of dsis sons like him. Rest of us think ✊ 💦

I don't get the mother in law as mum thing. I have a mum, thanks. No problem with a good relationship with their mother in law. I think that's a great thing.

I won't lie - I wouldn't like it.