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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is no way to punish a child!

212 replies

Justalittlelemondrizzle · 12/03/2018 16:18

Neighbours arrived home. Dad shouting and swearing at 7yo lad. Don't know what he's done obvs. They went in house where their neighbour heard banging before the crying 7 yo is thrown out of the house and the door is locked. He's knocked on the door about 10 times. It's raining so he keeps going under a shelter in the garden as he doesn't even have a coat on.
Dads just come out to take football off him before going back in the house and locking the door so the kid is now playing with rocks. He's been out there 40 minutes now 😒 surely this isn't normal behaviour?

OP posts:
BlueEyedBengal · 12/03/2018 22:45

To anyone if you see any thing that does not look right that makes you worry please report so right people can check all is fine if assistance is needed.than people can get the right help so the child can have a safe and happy environment

Certcert · 12/03/2018 22:47

you can't get involved unless a child is actually being abused.

Leaving a young child put in the cold and rain isn't abuse. Are you for real?!Shock

Hotdoggity · 12/03/2018 22:49

This is abuse in itself. It almost needs a trigger warning. It’s heartbreaking.

BlueEyedBengal · 12/03/2018 22:49

Are you for real That is abuse I would never treat my child in that way

Certcert · 12/03/2018 22:54

I can't be doing with threads like these. They are designed to get everyone frothing and not a thing changes.

BlueEyedBengal · 12/03/2018 22:57

I agree with you I'm just so upset with this maybe because I have 4 sons age 5, 7,8 and 10 I can't be leave what I see it seems so removed from my boys it so wrongAngry

RainbowGlitterFairy · 12/03/2018 23:00

Please report it directly to the police or social services, SS have massive case loads and will pay far more attention to a neighbour than they will from a school passing on second hand info, especially as the school may have already been in touch with SS. it speeds things up massively if concerns are coming from more than one source.

Certcert · 12/03/2018 23:03

I agree with you I'm just so upset with this maybe because I have 4 sons age 5, 7,8 and 10 I can't be leave what I see it seems so removed from my boys it so wrong

Believe me, I am also so upset with this. But if the OP won't do anything to help, what can we do, except work ourselves up?

BlueEyedBengal · 12/03/2018 23:11

It's just so sad I don't know why I go on m n some times

wheekwheekpiggiefeet · 12/03/2018 23:11

What Blueeyedbengal said. These things need to be taken seriously and reported just in case this is not a one off.

But if the OP won't do anything to help, what can we do, except work ourselves up? Is there a way we can report this thread to moderators in case they can somehow email the OP? I am a bit naive about how this kind of thing works, but surely Mumsnet has a way of tracing posters to find out which area they live in?

wheekwheekpiggiefeet · 12/03/2018 23:12

Blueyedbengal I know. I wish they had put a trigger warning. Some of us on here find these things triggering especially people with depression or anxiety issues.

GruffaIo · 12/03/2018 23:15

I hope this thread isn't real. What happened is clear emotional abuse, even if there's no other forms of abuse in that household.

Discussion in this thread (and the 4-year-old at the letter box) brought to mind one aspect of my less-than-idyllic childhood. I just wanted to highlight how these things really can have life-long effects. When I was a young child, my parents used to joke about leaving me in the woods on the dark drive home from the supermarket (we lived in the country), and would act like they were slowing the car to do so. Did it on many occasions. I was terrified. As an almost 40-year-old, I have to sleep with the light on (tolerant DH has agreed to night lights throughout the house; when he's away, I have the main bedroom light on normally!); I get scared when it's too far between street lights on the walk home from the station, etc. Some people just shouldn't have children. I haven't spoken to them in years.

OP, if this is real, please call 101 either this evening or in the morning and report it. What you saw was abuse.

SleightOfMind · 12/03/2018 23:15

I think OP sounded very worried and has almost certainly scurried off to report to anyone who’ll listen.

The responses on here pretty much blaming her for the poor lad’s horrific treatment would have scared her off this thread though.

BlueEyedBengal · 12/03/2018 23:16

Or just being human

TooManyMiles · 12/03/2018 23:20

you can't get involved unless a child is actually being abused
The thing is that this is a form of abuse. 7 is very, very young.
It also may have been very cold if he did not have the right clothes on.

A dad doing this sort of thing may be doing other cruel things being over harsh with discipline.

wheekwheekpiggiefeet · 12/03/2018 23:31

Gruffalo Flowers Am sorry that happened to you. My parents used to say they would leave me places althought they never actually slowed the car down, as far as I can remember. But even know I have an iirational fear of being abandoned anywhere and panic going to unfamiliar places. I have always put it down to me suffering with anxiety issues generally (I also seem to have a fear of being abandoned in relationships, and tend to isolate myself due to fear of being rejected or hurt) but maybe there is a root to this kind of thing? Thanks for your thread, Gruffalo, it reminds me that these things can happen even in relationships with loving parents.

wheekwheekpiggiefeet · 12/03/2018 23:33

TooManyMiles Yes, I would be concernd about the cold at this time of year. The parents must have known it could be dangerous leaving a young child out in the middle of March.

BelleandBeast · 12/03/2018 23:35

Maybe the OP saw he'd been left outside, then had to get on with stuff with her own family, assuming he'd be let in and was horrified to see him there 40 minutes later? Not that she sat and watched?

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 12/03/2018 23:37

Op please come back and tell us that you did actually report it to someone that can help and didn’t just talk about it online?

limitedscreentime · 12/03/2018 23:55

OMG. Joskar, my mother (who would have been 2 at the time) is still haunted by her brothers cries after being locked outside. He would have been 4. I can't even go there with his psychological scarring.

foreverandalways · 13/03/2018 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sazza76 · 13/03/2018 00:17

Like a few other posters, I think it's unfair to jump on the OP. She was obviously very concerned from her post and seeking others opinion isn't a bad thing to do. It's better than not caring enough to even do that like some people would do!
It could be that everyday life hasn't enabled her time to get back online, or it could be she has been put off posting by people's reactions. It doesn't mean she hasn't reported it and it definately doesn't mean she's a troll.
I so hope this child gets some support, it's heartbreaking.

Lizzie48 · 13/03/2018 00:19

I hope this isn't a genuine thread in this case, it would be awful to think of a 7 year old being shut outside. Unfortunately, if it is genuine, I think the OP won't be back, because of the venom against her.

If you're genuine, and you're reading the thread, you should definitely call 101, or social services tomorrow morning, as the little boy is hopefully inside (and tucked up in bed) now.

Italiangreyhound · 13/03/2018 00:39

Hope the child is OK and the OP reported it.

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