To ask if the area you live in determines what age you have children?

[Loveislove1]

Just that really, I’m 29 and lived in NW London up until last month and was by far the youngest person in my antenatal class, then we moved to Essex to be a bit more out in the country but when I went to a class there I was the oldest and felt a little out of place - yes 1 of the teenagers declared that I was lucky to have got “up the duff” before 30 otherwise I would have been well too old to have a baby. Now just to be clear I’m not judging anyone on how old they are when having a baby - I have younger friends with children and a lot of 40 something friends who are having babies. I’m just interested in where you are in the country and how old you were when you had your babies?

I am 31 and SW and I am the youngest in my NCT.

My sister in York is 29'and is average age

People in Ldn tend to have babies later I think!

Area, family, social circle will all influence.
I had mine between 25-35 which seems the norm where I am, but I have friends who had their first at 22 and 42.

In my experience people in London and maybe other cities that have a certain vibe (like Brighton) seem to have children later. Totally anecdotal and based on my own friendship group and experience. For me 30 would have been way too young.

Living costs and the number of years women spend in education have an influence.

I think it depends on relationships too! If I ever have children, I will be a lot older as I haven't met anyone yet. I can see how people can want them and yet not have any

We create our own 'Norms', so generally the Norm in your social circle is also yours. Obviously they will be influenced by the same factors as you, house prices etc.

I was 18, in 1985. I didn't stand out particularly. I had my last at 29. One of my DDs says that she has finished her family, at 23, again she doesn't stand out. We are in Liverpool.

I think property prices is what shapes the decisions of those living in expensive areas.

I was almost 29 when I had my first. I’m in the West miss. Consider that average I think?

I don't think NCT classes are a typical demographic though. They attract a certain type as you have to be able to afford the fee & they are relying on your ignorance about babies & need to make friends to hang out with on mat leave.

Well correlates with more than determines - level of education influences both.

Where I live the majority of people are done with children by the time they’re hitting their late twenties. Not uncommon to have another child or two in their early thirties, but it would be unusual for that to be the age for a first child.

I do live in an area of high deprivation, low average education, and poor job outlook though. In the slightly more affluent pocket of the city the first time mother age is a little higher.

I live in NW. When I went to NCT groups up here aged 23, I was one of the oldest.

19 with my first, 25 now preg with 2nd. When i went to a baby group when DS was a baby i was the youngest x

That's interesting @NotASingleFuckToGive - I'm in the NW too and was the youngest NCT mum out of eight of us, aged 21 (this was last year); the next closest was 23, then 31 and everyone else was mid/late-30s!

Yes. Your demographics determine the age you have children. I wonder what it is with these sorts of threads lately considering you only apparently changed names or joined MN yesterday OP.

Either way, I feel sorry for anyone who had a baby before 30. Even at 30 I'd still feel sorry for them.

It definitely does make a difference. When we lived in London I was young amongst my friends to be having my first baby at 31. We now live on the south coast and at 40 with a 9, 8, and 3 year old, I am one of the older mums in my eldest's class. I suspect I will be significantly older than most of the mums in my youngest's class by the time she starts school.
Most people here seem to have completed their families at the age I was starting mine.

RedPandaMama your own experience in the NW may be more reflective of present day age ranges- I'm close to 40 now so my NCT experience was a while ago but I do remember being one of the oldest in the early 2000s!

North London, had first aged 30, pretty normative around here, although some school mums have said they think I'm one of the younger mums (although it's possible they don't know how old I am, as I look fairly young).

I was one of the first of my school friends to have kids - still in touch via FB with some acquaintances from school who had kids not long after being uni (I went to a school where almost everyone went to uni), but most who have started families, and a lot haven't have done so in the last 7 years or so.

It’s funny because I think my London NCT group must have been very young by NCT standards. We were 26, 28, 28, 30, 35, 42.

27-30 seems around ave for a first baby amongst my friends.

Either way, I feel sorry for anyone who had a baby before 30. Even at 30 I'd still feel sorry for them.

What a bizarre thing to say, why on Earth would you feel sorry about the age people have children? Not that it’s pity you actually feel, though it’s a nice cover for being judgmental.

I think it's the lifestyle you aspire to that makes the most difference. I wanted a higher education, career, husband and to own a (mortgage) home, before I had a baby. I guess if housing had been more expensive I might have had to wait longer, but I think a range of ages for first time mothers is common across the country.

I was 19 when I had my first. I was far and away the youngest in my NCT class. I had number 4 age 29, and am still one of the youngest at baby groups although I have friends same age as me who have had children at similar times.

I was 29 when I had my first and was by far the youngest in the NCT. This was in Chelsea, London. Most were mid 30s for first DC.

I was positively ancient in the area where I grew up when I had DS. A lot of the people I went to school with are grandparents now.

What on earth are you smoking Vlad?

There's two types of parents round my way- mostly differentiated by whether they went to university or not. If they worked straight from school then generally they had kids between 18-25, if they went to uni then it seems to be into the 30-40 bracket.

The problem is that the latter groups tend to shape and dominate the landscape when it comes to childrearing, so for example rather than everyone going to their local, just as good as all the others school there's a scramble for certain, fashionable schools. Same as with the children's centres- they're rammed full of fairly affluent mothers who could easily pay for the kids soft play sessions, baby yoga whatever but chose to go to the free/subsidised classes often at the expense of the people that really need to access the services.