To ask if the area you live in determines what age you have children?

[Loveislove1]

Just that really, I’m 29 and lived in NW London up until last month and was by far the youngest person in my antenatal class, then we moved to Essex to be a bit more out in the country but when I went to a class there I was the oldest and felt a little out of place - yes 1 of the teenagers declared that I was lucky to have got “up the duff” before 30 otherwise I would have been well too old to have a baby. Now just to be clear I’m not judging anyone on how old they are when having a baby - I have younger friends with children and a lot of 40 something friends who are having babies. I’m just interested in where you are in the country and how old you were when you had your babies?

I think house prices have a lot to answer for here. I’m in s London, only one of the mums iin my NCT group was in her 20s - and she lives at home!

I was one of the oldest in my antenatal class, in the area I grew up in, at age 25 (big teenage pregnancy area). Then I moved an hour away and I was one of the youngest in my antenatal class for DC2, at age 33.

That was odd!

Agree where I live (affluent area)Mother’s are older
If you moved five miles away they are younger

In my area/circles (London) it seems to have been very much dictated by home ownership take up, rather than by education level. There are a small group of us who were able to get on the property ladder earlier and those who are in long term relationships have children.

The cost of renting somewhere large enough for a family plus childcare costs where we are are pretty prohibitive; you would need to clear around £3k to rent a roof over your head and pay for nursery for one. Mortgages tend to be cheaper.

I went to university and had my first at 27, second at 30. I got married at 25 and bought my first home at 26.

I was 23 when I had DD and was youngest by about 10 years in NCT. None of my friends have children but I know of plenty of people who are my age/younger. My town is a bit of a mix of big council estates and a lot of poverty and London commuters in £600k+ houses. A lot of my NCT friends didn't grow up here like me.

I'm happy with the age I am though, no need to feel sorry for me

Determines, no, but it is a relevant factor. If only to the extent that areas where the cost of living is particularly expensive and salaries on average increase with age are likely to see people wait for longer. Simply on affordability grounds.

I don't think one causes the other.

I think they are each caused by a number of factors, many of which overlap.

I'm in Essex ( affluent area) and most of my friends were 28-30 before they had their first child.

I live in an expensive part of the Home Counties - I had my daughter at 30 (12 years ago, so not that recent) and I was the youngest in my Nct by 6 years. However I work in a town which is far less well-off on the whole and the mums I see there are a lot younger. I think it definitely plays a part - generally the more educated & career driven (& therefore usually wealthier) will have kids later.

trills is right.

Here the average age of a first time mum is 35. It probably doesn't hurt there's a good fertility clinic down the road.

My friend was under 25 when she had her first and said she was a good 15 years younger than anyone else in her NCT group in a very affluent area of SW London.

Tarts - "Same as with the children's centres- they're rammed full of fairly affluent mothers who could easily pay for the kids soft play sessions, baby yoga whatever but chose to go to the free/subsidised classes often at the expense of the people that really need to access the services." - really?

I don't mean, "really, are there affluent mothers at the children's centres?" but "are they really JAMMED FULL so those who aren't affluent can't get in?"

I hate this idea that free children's services should be ghettoised by class. Sure, well off people should pay their way but I don't care whether this done by direct taxation or a pay-as-you--use - except that charging on the door means you WILL be ghettoising unless you run some kind of on the spot means test which is in itself divisive. I suppose you could have a donations pot and an honour system to top up a little.

But anyway - all parents of small children need to get out of the house, meet other people, give their kids room to play on large play equipment etc. This can't be done privately. Why not allow people to mix across classes? Are there really poorer mums sitting in their flats going "I wish we could have gone to Stay and Play instead of being stuck at home but it's always full and I'm always getting turned away"? REALLY?

SW here and at our school gate (5yo's) most mums are 35+ in-fact most like me are well in to our 40's!

We were in SW London and at 27 I was the youngest by at least 5 years.

Most of our friends didn’t have children until mid 30s and now oldest DC is almost 10 nearly all his friends parents are 40+. We’re often referred to as the babies of the group!

I was a week off 39 when I had DS. At work (London) this was normal. Mid to late 30s is average for colleagues to have their first baby. But at home (a 2 hour commute from central London) I stick out as an oldie; most mothers locally are 25 to early 30s and I find myself closer in age to some of the school gate grandmothers!

In my experience it’s more about education and career. By the time you’ve graduated from university, maybe postgrad qualifications too, and professional exams, plus a couple of years on the job you’re probably late 20s or early 30s. That’s provided you’ve actually had the time and good fortune to meet the right partner!
Most of the women I worked with married mid 30s and had kids late 30s and early 40s.

Agree generally with Coastal. To have gone to uni, had a 'career' for a while and not settled down with an early boyfriend seems much less common round here.

I'm in East and at 34 was really rather old to be having first baby but know this is considered average/young in the circles of friends in London.

First at 30 and second at 33. I seem to be about average for Surrey but was amongst the first of my friendship group who are pretty much all City lawyers.

Education levels are the biggest correlating factor for age of giving birth.

This is chicken and egg thing though -- did you have a child later because you were in education/career building or were you in education because you wanted to have a child later?

This is also why average age of motherhood increases in cities, where a larger proportion of the population is university educated.
Move out to many small towns and suburbs and the demographic changes as does the age of giving birth.

Anti Grinch, of course not everything is jam packed but if you've got an organised group (eg NCT) of professional types who are savvy enough get together and book out the space limited courses quickly (eg Solihull postnatal, baby massage) then that does rather stop them being available to everyone who is maybe less confident and proactive in booking activities. Its also a bit awkward when you have a small parenting course of 8 people and 7 of them are comfortable with snazzy careers and you live on a council estate and work in a manual labour type job. You can't relate to their problems and they to you.

Feel free to argue against it, but I'm just telling you the first hand experience of my area which is a little pocket of deprivation in a wider more affluent town.

I'm in SE London (posh bit) and was youngest in my NCT group at aged 30. Lots of older parents here as they can afford the big houses and we're close to the city.

I had my first at 22 and expected I'd be the youngest mother in the maternity ward but I was actually the oldest bar one woman who was having her 5th. Most people round here (NE) have their first before 25.