Dh and I have three kids. 9,7 and 5. My youngest two have autism, adhd, hypermobility and sensory processing. The youngest is non verbal and severely autistic. She also has coeliac disease as does my eldest.
My dh has wanted to advance his career and when my middle dc was small I stopped working (decided by both as my dh has limited patience and tolerance). Our youngest is very challenging and we’ve had hell with school and dc is moving to a specialist school.
Typically my dh does his hobby once/twice a week. Does a Saturday exercise class and also tries to fit one in one evening. My youngest requires one of us to sit on the bed to get them to sleep. This can take an hour. So bedtime is hard. My dh often either goes straight to his hobby or leaves at 7.20. Today he says he’s resentful of lack of leisure time. He wants more. I’ve asked him what more he wants and he won’t say.
He says he “ would facilitate” me if I wanted to out. I don’t to be honest as I’m too tired. Youngest wakes at 4am most night or like the other night 3am and is up all night. My dh either rolls over or goes to sleep in dc’s room, fair enough he’s at work the next day.
I’ve just started a job and work from home. Is tricky as youngest only does two and a half hours a day (in discussion with council).
I am tired and stressed. I try not to stop dh doing stuff but honestly I’m just exhausted by the battles and meltdowns constantly. But should I give him more leisure time? He’s been out twice this week and now his friends want to go for a meal but he’s made a sarky comment about not being able to go now to me though I haven’t specifically said no.
Please be as gentle as you can be with AIBU as I know I possibly am. He’s made me feel like a real bitch.