Aibu to not want to get married

[cago2710]

Hi basically we have been together 17 years got 4dc and are very happy. All my dp siblings are now married or due to get married they have all been together a lot less time then us. We are constantly under pressure to get married from others . We are engaged 10'years ago but neither of us have felt the need to get married. Part of me feels a tiny bit sad that we don't have the same name but I'm their Mum whatever in my eyes. I honestly don't feel we need to change and we have spent an absolute fortune on our house and don't want to spend money on family we don't see and aren't bothered about us. Does this make me into the terrible person other family members seem to think it does?

The other thing you can’t replicate is other countries’ laws on marriage. Clearly if you’d rather pull your own teeth out than move to Qatar (for example) that’s not a problem but for some people their circumstances make it a deal breaker.

For all the comments talking about “being next of kin”- being married to someone does not make anybody a “next of kin” or gives any rights regarding medical treatment. Only a patient can decide regarding treatment. If s/he is unable someone with power of attorney (for health) might. If there is no power of atorney the the decision is taken in best interest by the medical team and they may ask close relatives for input.

Why are next of kin asked about organ donation if that's the case?

Abit - yes - I stand corrected on that one - Next of Kin doesn't have ( as I understand it ) a meaningful status regarding health unless you have POA.

"they may ask close relatives for input"

Exactly. And that's the problem. Who are thise close relatives? NOK is a nebulous concept in English law, so although a pragmatic view would usually be taken, if an unconscious patient's mother (NOK, as you're not married) had a different view to you, then their view could well prevail if they made a fuss.

And of course, there is an issue with foreign systems and definitions, if you go on holiday abroad and accident or illness strikes there. But if you stick to Europe, N America, Australia, NZ and the like, you'll be OK.