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Original poster

To make DD sell her iPad to pay for her braces?

87 replies

MinesABabyGuiness · 10/03/2018 14:35

DD (almost 14) had a removable top braces fitted 5 weeks ago. She is notorious for breaking and ruining her things and drives me crazy with her careless attitude so I begged her to look after them. I have just found it snapped in half on our bathroom sink, next to a pair of pliers. So not an accident.

I am furious. It's £70 to replace it, which at the moment I don't really have spare for stupid things like this. Would it be unreasonable of me to get her to sell something of hers to pay for the damage? She already has no mobile phone because she has broken the screen twice and I'm refusing to pay for a third time.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 10/03/2018 15:19

Ywbu to sell her iPad. Ywnbu to find a way to make her pay for or contribute to paying for the mistake.

meme70 · 10/03/2018 15:20

My daughter has braces aged 11-13 she’s just had her retainers
Her braces weee never painful and the results are amazing her teeth look perfect

She lost her retainers £150 nhs won’t replace if broken or lost

She’s careless with things so the coat cane out of her savings account

If they aren’t punished they carry on taking as they have no reason to be careful
It teaches them respect

Original poster
MinesABabyGuiness · 10/03/2018 15:20

I've tried the taking away pocket money thing before, made no difference because she isn't bothered if she has money or not. I've had to stop it completely now as she was spending it all on chocolate and sweets on the way to school and the dentist wouldn't fit her braces for her if she carried on. I just fund her trips out with her friends etc instead but she has to earn that not that keeping her room clean and emptying the dishwasher is slave like she thinks.

OP posts:
Tralalee · 10/03/2018 15:20

Do you not believe that she was trying to fix them with the pliers? I've done that to dds braces before.

Tralalee · 10/03/2018 15:21

I would just pay for them tbh and ask if she can have train tracks on the top as well.

Original poster
MinesABabyGuiness · 10/03/2018 15:22

She doesn't have ADHD or dyspraxia. She is just careless and a bit selfish sometimes. She's a teenager.

OP posts:
hibbledibble · 10/03/2018 15:22

Op it sounds like removable braces don't suit your dd. Why not get permanent ones and chalk it up to experience?

Either that or I would fix them myself with glue.

Nkhutch · 10/03/2018 15:22

@HeyRoly just what I thought my daughter is being referred to be assessed for dyspraxia! She had a tablet and a ds and hasn't broken either. She has broken other less valuable toys but she likes chewing stuff Hmmbut she is very much aware of she isn't careful with her stuff it won't get replaced.

Original poster
MinesABabyGuiness · 10/03/2018 15:23

She can't have a fixed brace at the top yet because her overbite was too big. Hence the removable one first for 6 months to a year.

OP posts:
Lemonnaise · 10/03/2018 15:23

Op - ask your dd if she actually wants to wear her braces. I'd let her choose whether she wants to have them or not

FFS Why do people assume parents don't speak to their children about things on here? Of course OP has spoken to her daughter about this.Hmm.

squoosh · 10/03/2018 15:24

Op - ask your dd if she actually wants to wear her braces. I'd let her choose whether she wants to have them or not.

I wouldn't let her choose because teens don't always make the right choice. She may not be crazy about the braces now but I know so many adults who've rejected braces as teens only to shell out ££££ on them as adults.

Tralalee · 10/03/2018 15:24

I have a really accident prone dd who lives in a book or a movie most of the time so you have my sympathy. She's a PITA but I do love her though

Tralalee · 10/03/2018 15:25

I wouldn't let her choose!! Having grotty teeth causes all kinds of problems when you are older.

squoosh · 10/03/2018 15:26

OP I'd probably replace it but tell her in no uncertain terms that breaking the replacement would result in the loss of her ipad.

Original poster
MinesABabyGuiness · 10/03/2018 15:26

She wouod choose to have them if I gave her the choice. Like I said she was 100% the driving force behind getting braces. She's wanted them since she was 10.

OP posts:
littlemissrain · 10/03/2018 15:27

If it's a removable brace, my dd broke hers at least 10 times in the time she had twin blocks.

The wires snapped, and one of them snapped in half when she took it out.

I honestly don't think they're very durable.

Personally, I think you would be unreasonable to make her pay for it.

How old is she though? If 15/16, maybe not unreasonable, if 11/12, unreasonable

Original poster
MinesABabyGuiness · 10/03/2018 15:27

Living in a book or a movie describes her completely.

OP posts:
littlemissrain · 10/03/2018 15:29

I also think you need to talk to her first about how it happened before you jump to conclusions and make rash decisions.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 10/03/2018 15:29

Just curious...did her orthodontist tell her to remove it to eat?

Ours has very firmly told her that the only times it’s to be removed are when playing sport when she uses a mouth guard and to clean her teeth/the brace. Other than that, it stays IN her mouth. Bless, she meekly asked about swimming and he said ‘Do you wear a mouthguard’ (meek ‘No’) ‘Do you clean your teeth in the pool?’ (meeker ‘No’), then given what I’ve just told you, what do you think? (Very meek). ‘I keep it in’.

Poor kid. But still, I have no problem with him being firm and her being slightly wary of feeling his wrath. Otherwise she’d probably be finding 101 reasons to take it out at home. As someone else said, at school it’s ‘cool’. Bloody well wasn't when I was at school and had them 😬
...and I was no angel with my braces either.

If she was trying to fix the wires on her tracks herself, you need to diffuse the tension around the braces and your relationship in general. I’d have done that if I thought I’d be in trouble with my parents. It’s bloody hard when they're careless and don’t seem to give a toss, but especially with things like this she needs to be able to tell you. She could do a lot of damage in her mouth with pliers.

Likely she had the pliers and the brace in her hand and cracked them like that, something daft. I’d be telling her I want the truth & fast or there would be consequences for lying, damaged plate aside.

Tralalee · 10/03/2018 15:29

My 11 year old has train tracks and the wire has come out so many times plus the blocks have come off. All free to be mended

Original poster
MinesABabyGuiness · 10/03/2018 15:30

DH is taking her to the appointment on Thursday. We will see what the dentist has to say before we make a decision.

OP posts:
Original poster
MinesABabyGuiness · 10/03/2018 15:31

Annie, no she is supposed to keep it in to eat. Which she does when I can see her but when I'm not around she will take them out. I guess because she can.

OP posts:
Original poster
MinesABabyGuiness · 10/03/2018 15:36

She says she was using the pliers to hold the wires on the removable brace as they had bent (because she had put them in her bag for P.E and not the protective box). And it snapped.

You're right in thinking she may have thought she would be in trouble, because I really did beg her to look after them. But only because I knew she was likely to not look after them, despite wanting them for such a long time :(

OP posts:
Doryismyname · 10/03/2018 15:37

OP says her teenage DD is careless with things and has a messy bedroom and people suggest ADHD Hmm

AnnieAnoniMouse · 10/03/2018 15:40

Ah, right. As she said she’d taken it out to eat, and you didn’t comment on that, I assumed you were ok with it/had been told to.

I simply can’t imagine a teen taking it out when her parents can’t see her.

😂

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