To make DD sell her iPad to pay for her braces?

[MinesABabyGuiness]

DD (almost 14) had a removable top braces fitted 5 weeks ago. She is notorious for breaking and ruining her things and drives me crazy with her careless attitude so I begged her to look after them. I have just found it snapped in half on our bathroom sink, next to a pair of pliers. So not an accident.

I am furious. It's £70 to replace it, which at the moment I don't really have spare for stupid things like this. Would it be unreasonable of me to get her to sell something of hers to pay for the damage? She already has no mobile phone because she has broken the screen twice and I'm refusing to pay for a third time.

@SummerRayne17 the NHS only fund braces for teeth that meet their criteria. Eg. 4mm overbite would be funded whereas 3mm wouldn't be - I made those numbers up as an example.

Op - ask your dd if she actually wants to wear her braces. I'd let her choose whether she wants to have them or not.
Maybe she was trying to fix them with the pliers, rather than break them.

I think YWBU to make her sell her iPad, yes.
But YANBU to be thoroughly pissed off at the situation!
Does she normally get pocket money? That would be stopped straight off, if she were mine, and I'd be making her do extra chores as well to make up for having to replace it.
If you actually don't have the money to replace it at the moment, then she'll have to go without until the money is there - and go without everything else she would normally get, until you have the £70 you need.

Also, and this might be totally irrelevant but I'm going to throw it in anyway - is she very accident-prone? Has she been checked for dyspraxia?

NHS will pay for making the braces and repairing the little clips if they come off. DD had the removable blocks and they were repaired twice free of charge by the NHS.

We were warned that if she totally broke the blocks beyond repair - which snapping in two definitely is - we would be charged for replacements.

I think that in this case the OP would be reasonable to expect her DD to at least pay part of the cost ad it was clearly explained what was expected of her. At 14 she's past being a careless child and needs to learn a lesson here.

Maybe she was trying to fix them with the plyers? I have a lot of sympathy for your DD. I try to be careful with things but do lose and break things all the time

I think I'm more annoyed because this is just typical of her really. I know teenagers are self absorbed and I accept that for the most part, but I begged her to make she she looked after them because it was for her own good and what she wanted.

Minesababy
The orthodontist gave her a box to put them in, she has lost that too.
THen wait till you see the orthodontist and let the bollocking come from the person who put their professional skill into trying to help her.

Let the dentist be the bad cop
and you be the good cop

She is 14 !! Give her a break. I can't believe that some of you are suggesting not replacing them.... her teeth need braces you are the parent so take some responsibility too a child should not have to sell possessions ! Would you do the same if she broke her glasses ?

She isn't accident prone, she just has a very carefree attitude towards things.

The dentist explained to her that every time she removed the brace it would need to be put in a protective box, she was fully aware of this. And now she tells me she has lost the box too. Numerous times I've seen it sat around on the side or just in her coat pocket! It was an accident waiting to happen if I'm honest.

That's what I was thinking, that a telling off from the dentist would be more powerful. But she would listen for a day and then go back to not using it.

ADHD?

We had 3 boxes - bedroom, dining room, school bag.

Glasses and braces rarely fall into the same category of need, IME.

ADHD?
Is that some sort of joke?

They will be replaced, and I'm sure it will be me paying for them once I think rationally. 5 weeks is all she's had them for! She needs this treatment for her teeth, but also needs to keep up her end of the deal.

The joys of 13 year olds. I could write your story😣😣

Lizs even if she had 3 boxes I know she wouldn't use them. I remind her as much as I can but when she is at school I can't. She needs to take some responsibility for not looking after them the way she was told.

My son was the same, cared about nothing and assumed everything would be replaced. He's much older now and more careful. I would make her pay or alternatively, stop pocket money or funding whatever else she gets.

She sounds not quite mature/responsible enough for these kind of braces then.

Not sure what the solution is, selling the ipad is harsh. I'd say she needs to pay a contribution from her pocket money every tine there is breakage or loss. That won't make a big difference for you in terms of £££ but it will teach her consequences?

Yes, if she wants them then she needs to pay for the replacement. She needs to learn that actions have consequences. At the orthodontic appointment I would ask about the costs of braces as an adult, it might make her think!

Can you ask the dentist if a fixed brace is an option?

@Minesababyguinness
even if she had 3 boxes I know she wouldn't use them.
Aha, I just had a thought ....

An ex of mine had a denture that he used to take out and put on the table to eat. Grim huh !!
I bought him a special little silk bag that I reinforced inside, so that he could pop his teeth in it.
He used it for the next 20 years (I split up with him months after giving it him but we remained friends)

So
She needs a special box - something unique and special to her
not a crummy dentist's one

Almostdone - I can see why the poster above suggested ADHD. It may be way off the mark, but a teenager with poor working memory/executive function who constantly loses and forgets things might be struggling, rather than simply being thoughtless.

Christ, a teenager is clumsy and careless and people are diagnosing dyspraxia and ADHD?

Surprised by all the people who are anti-braces too. I had various types of braces from year 6 to year 10. Yes, they hurt. But did I ever lose sight when it came to how much I needed them, and how much better my teeth would look in the end? No!

Personally If she has done it on purpose then I wouldn't make her sell her iPad I'd just refuse to take her for treatment again. When she turns 18 if her teeth bother her then she can pay for her braces. She probably wouldn't break them again. If she breaks her things just don't replace them and make her aware that once she is working she can buy them herself it might make her respect her stuff a bit more