To be frustrated that in 2018 some people just don't understand the harm low level, casual sexism can have?

[Blaablaablaa]

So, need a bit of a rant but it might stop me going nuclear on Facebook.

This happened on Facebook....
Man: posts something sexist on IWD for a 'laugh'
Me: call him out on it. Nothing argumentative just pointed out it wasn't funny and was actually offensive.
Man: tells me I need to 'lighten up' it's a giggle, just banter
Me: didn't respond
Man and his friends : start commenting about women taking offense at everything and how you can't even have banter anymore. I, apparently, need to 'get a life'
Me: should have left it but... Responded politely just explaining the issues around low level, casual sexism.

I then get PMs where he goes into full mansplaining mode telling me I need to pick my fights, explaining he's not sexist because he hold doors open for all different types of women (?) And he's not racist just because he finds this (racist ) joke funny. Signs off telling me he'll always have time for my Mardy arse if I want to chat.

I've deleted and blocked him but it's made me really angry.

Anyway, apologies for the long rant but it feels better writing it down

Well if he was the sort of man who got the issues he wouldn’t have made the sexist joke in the first place.

How someone responds to a complaint about sexist/racist behaviour speaks volumes. Do they try and listen to the point being made or go to mimimise, deny and attack?

He sounds like a total pita.

Some people are thick twats. Dont waste your energy.

That's exactly what I thought. His response spoke volumes.
Thankfully I don't know many people like him.

No, you're not being unreasonable. I hate this as well. It's always the same;

Person (typically a man) says something sexist, knowing it is sexist. You call them out. Then you get told to 'lighten up' and the sexism element is dismissed because JOKE.

And 9/10, the 'joke' isn't even funny.

@zen...hit the nail on the head! He's deleted and blocked and I'm not responding to his messages.

My teenage neighbour got cat called 4 times on the way to school recently. She’s on the way to school ffs.

But hey, poor men not being able to banter anymore. It’s very hard for them.

I don't much like International Women's Day. It tends to bring a lot of misogynistic resentment to the surface in a way that's hard to ignore and quite depressing.

Yeh losing the right to have 'bants' must be tough.

On her way to school?? FFS. I bet if they'd been challenged they would have said 'but it's a compliment!'

I really resent being told to get a life, lighten up or that I'm a 'mardy arse' just because I have a strong opinion.

My DH has lots of strong opinions but he's commended for them. Thankfully he's the biggest feminists I know so understands my point

@raisinbrain you're right. I saw a few things throughout the day and eventually I couldn't ignore it.

Funny how a previous casual sexism post on here was thought hilarious by most of you.

Not by me. And it happened to be that post that I had an issue with

Whatshalli , can you link?

whatshall I was appalled by the number of people who thought that post was funny and didn't get that low level sexism is a pervasive problem which lowers the bar and allows slightly more harmful sexism to be normalised

@linky this is exactly what I tried to explain to him . But apparently I need to 'get a life' and a 'sense of humour'

I’m coming to despise the word ‘banter’. Even worse, ‘bants’ Invariably used as an excuse for unfunny misogynistic twattery.

Banter should be back and forth. The kind of 'bantz' that's basically just insulting in one direction without comeback is just twattery.

The concept of microaggressions is useful I find - yes, each incident is small, but it's the volume of a dozen a day that makes up the problem.

Husky...I agree. That's my experience. That way when you call them on it they can say they were just joking

I could have written this post. On IWD a man I’ve known for years (and whom I thought was liberal, enlightened and reasonably cool) shared a Daily Mash post which was something about woman using feminism as excuse to talk loudly about herself. I replied sarcastically that it was a supportive post on IWD. He got shirty and one of his mates replied ‘it’s nice for the ladies to have a day too’. One other woman backed me up but another said ‘ooh it’s just a bit of fun’. I think I’m going to have to delete him....

YANBU YANBU YANBU

YADNBU!

Yanbu. I had a similar experience on social media once. The man PM-ed me to say how dare I call him a sexist, he has a degree in Women's Studies (!) and therefore he knows what is offensive to women and what isn't. When I pointed out that I am actually a woman and offended, he sent me his entire thesis from his degree....it was insane. Needless to say I didn't read it, blocked him and never spoke to him again.

@saoirse31

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3188802-Help-me-school-this-prat-at-work

I had to give up reading. It's full of comments like 'it's just a joke' / 'lighten up' / 'well I found it funny' etc. I believe there are even a couple of 'bantz' comments in there.

Depends on the person saying it. A one off I wouldn't get my knickers in a twist about it.

Pick your fights.

I was going to say it's reassuring to hear I'm not the only one to experience this but actually it's not. It's depressing.
I've blocked him but the frustrating thing is he genuinely doesn't see any wrong in what he says or does. I know him and his mates are having a good laugh at the 'mardy arse' throwing her toys out of the pram.
I take some comfort from the fact he's single and unlikely to have children so his misogynistic views stop with him.

@lifebegins....I disagree. Although it isn't a one off and it was his response to being gently challenge was the thing that upset me most.

I've picked this fight ....I've been subjected to low level sexism and more overt sexism which was bordering on sexual assault. ALL of it needs to stop.