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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for this?

29 replies

IamAporcupine · 10/03/2018 00:29

DS will be having his birthday party at a soft play. To book the place there is a minimum fee, which allows you to invite 20 children.
We will only have 12 kids, so I asked if we could have some tea or snacks for the parents.
They said no.

Was this unreasonably and/or a cheeky request?

OP posts:
TroubledTribble28 · 10/03/2018 00:31

Will you be paying the price for 20 kids with a group of just 12? Also, how many adults?

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 10/03/2018 00:35

Yes, I will be paying for 20, but only 12 will come.
I am guessing 12-15 adults

OP posts:
ProblematicWonder · 10/03/2018 00:44

So, you’ll be paying for 20 children but they’re refusing to provide catering? Do they provide catering as a matter of course and did they give a reason for refusing to provide catering?

TroubledTribble28 · 10/03/2018 00:47

Ahh that's fair enough then op. It would end up costing THEM to cater your party with that many extra people Grin

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 10/03/2018 00:49

They will provide catering for the 12 that are going.
I thought that given that I am actually paying for 20, they could provide something for the parents instead? Whether that is the same food the kids are having or something else, eg tea/coffee

The reason they gave is that the flat fee that I am paying is to book the place for exclusive use. I knew this and agreed to it, but at the time I didn't know how many children would come.

OP posts:
Original poster
IamAporcupine · 10/03/2018 00:53

TroubledTribble28 but would tea/snacks for the adults not be approx the same (or less) than food for the extra 8 kids that I am paying for?

Happy to be told I am wrong

OP posts:
ferrier · 10/03/2018 00:54

They should provide food for 20 kids. Your adults can eat the 8 kids worth.

Floralnomad · 10/03/2018 00:55

YABU .

Cavender · 10/03/2018 00:57

I think if you want tea and coffee for the adults then you need to pay for it.

You’ve already agreed to the minimum 20 children charge, it’s not to their advantage to change the goal posts now.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 10/03/2018 00:58

They should provide food for 20 kids. Your adults can eat the 8 kids worth.

That's exactly how I see it.

OP posts:
Original poster
IamAporcupine · 10/03/2018 01:01

But Cavander I am not changing the goal post, I was only asking them to provide food for 20, as that's what I am paying

OP posts:
Fortunatelymine · 10/03/2018 01:04

Pretty sure that's what they do anyway, standard amount of food if it's a buffet type thing, just slightly fewer ice cream a or whatever brought out at the end. Every time I've been to similar the adults have plenty to pick at once kids have finished. So play place isn't going to agree to put on extra food.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 10/03/2018 01:06

Fortunatelymine that's a possibility, but then why are they asking me to tell them exactly how many children we will have?

OP posts:
Fortunatelymine · 10/03/2018 01:12

Health and safety requires them to know how many are there? Making sure they have enough individual desserts?
Is your flat fee for exclusive use of the whole venue?

Beeziekn33ze · 10/03/2018 01:13

OP tell them 20 are coming. Oh dear, only 12 have turned up! Presumably there would then be food for 20.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 10/03/2018 01:25

Is your flat fee for exclusive use of the whole venue?
Yes

Beeziekn33ze
That's what I thought too but is too late now!

The more I think about it the more I do not understand how they can refuse. I think I phrased it wrongly - I should have said, will you provide food for 20 so the parents can have something to eat too?

OP posts:
CannaeBeErsed · 10/03/2018 01:34

Surely you can call them up and tell them to cater for 20. That's it. No discussion. You paid for 20 and unless they wish to discount you 8 children's worth of catering you expect them to provide it. Who eats it is irrelevant.

My DS recently went to a soft play party and sweetie cones were given to each child. Personally I would have expected the party host to be able to take the spare bags home. Same applies to you.

Fortunatelymine · 10/03/2018 06:39

Why mention the parents eating? They are used to additional DC turning up on the day, so probably cater for 20 anyway. As I said, there's always been plenty left for parents every time I've been. The number you give them initially is a guesstimate and you can pay ontop for extras.
I'm impressed you get the whole play place to yourselves though. Just for 20 DC!

Fishface77 · 10/03/2018 06:47

Call them and tell them there will be 20 children attending.

CircleofWillis · 10/03/2018 06:55

Yes just tell them you need food for 20. You don’t even have to say they 20 children if you feel uncomfortable. When we booked a soft play venue, they brought in the food ready plated up. When you arrive reiterate that you want food for 20 (as that’s what you have paid for). Otherwise they might just cater to a head count.

namechange43271 · 10/03/2018 07:07

Just ring and say you have invited brothers/sisters along to make up the 20

llangennith · 10/03/2018 07:10

Tell them 20 are now coming.

checkingforballoons · 10/03/2018 07:30

I work for a soft play that has the same set up - you pay for a minimum of 20 children. We always cater for 20. We ask for numbers so we can arrange the tables correctly (10 children sat at a table for 20 with lots of empty plates looks a bit odd). We don't offer anything to make up the difference as it would get really confusing. We'd have to work out how much food for X amount of children was equivalent to X amount of whatever the hosts wanted instead, every time it happened. Plus, you often get children turning up who didn't RSVP, so you would then have to take away X amount of whatever other catering the hosts had asked for so you could cater for the extra child/children.
If they're not offering you catering for 20 children then they are BU. That's what you've paid for, no more, no less!
Hope the party goes well 🙂

TheFifthKey · 10/03/2018 07:36

When my DD had a soft play party I deliberately chose food parents would enjoy picking at (chips, hot dogs, salad) and even with the right number of kids there was enough for a good snack for all the adults there. So YANBU - you paid for food for 20 and you should get it! It wouldn’t be any more effort for then surely? We didn’t even need plates, just grabbed napkins and handfuls of chips 😄

Inertia · 10/03/2018 08:22

I would tell them to cater for 20 then let the adults eat the leftovers.