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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to not go straight home

51 replies

FabiantheFish · 09/03/2018 15:22

I have been told I can leave work an hour early today.
My DH is a stay at home dad and is at home with our 3 DCs.

Would it be really unreasonable no to mention that i am leaving early and to go to the library of a cafe and spend an hour reading quietly by myself then go home at my usual time?

OP posts:
Original poster
FabiantheFish · 09/03/2018 15:23

typos:
not to mention
library or a cafe

OP posts:
Truthstar · 09/03/2018 15:24

Do it. And enjoy xx

user1471517900 · 09/03/2018 15:24

Would you be happy if your DH did that? That's probably the answer there.

reddingtn · 09/03/2018 15:24

Why not? I would Smile

LinkyPlease · 09/03/2018 15:24

All depends on whether DP gets time off to himself too.

If he does then go for it. If he never gets the same time to himself then YABU and unfair, so go home instead.

Ubercornsdiscoball · 09/03/2018 15:24

Why would you ask that? Can’t you just say you finished earlier and am having a few minutes peace?? Or not say anything. Your call !

Nannyplumssillyoldelf · 09/03/2018 15:24

I would do it.

MsMarvel · 09/03/2018 15:25

I dont get the secrecy.

Ubercornsdiscoball · 09/03/2018 15:26

Me neither @MsMarvel

FluffyWuffy100 · 09/03/2018 15:26

Unless there is a MASSIVE backstory about how you do everything when you're at home... then no.

moita · 09/03/2018 15:26

Go for it

DalekDalekDalek · 09/03/2018 15:27

Find for you to go to a cafe or where ever and have some time to yourself. Why do you feel the need to lie about it? That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

gamerchick · 09/03/2018 15:31

Well as long as he gets some downtime? I hate to reverse the roles but if a dude came and said that I don’t think the majority would say go for it.

Personally I would be thrilled if husband came home an hour early tbh but I wouldnt he if he got off an hour early and then lied about it.

crashbangwhallop · 09/03/2018 15:33

If your DP finds out he will assume the worst because you weren’t honest about it. I’d tell him. I guess you aren’t telling him because he doesn’t get the same time to himself or is there something else going on here?

checkingforballoons · 09/03/2018 15:38

'I'm getting out of work an hour early and I could really do with some down time. Home at usual time though and I'll get up with DC in the morning so you can sleep in x'?

Original poster
FabiantheFish · 09/03/2018 15:54

No backstory, neither of us really get much alone time, I am either at work or at home with the family, he is always at home with at least 1 child (other 2 at school).

It would feel realy sneaky to just go without mentioning it. I should probably just go straight home, especially as I have been working late so far this week so he has been having to do bedtime by himself.

OP posts:
DailyMailFail101 · 09/03/2018 15:57

As a stay at home Mum, I’d be annoyed if my husband didn’t come home.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 09/03/2018 15:57

Does DH get time off the kids too? If DH said to me ‘I’m leaving early and I’m popping to the library on the way’ I wouldn’t mind. I would be pissed off if he lied about where he was by omission. I would also expect an hour or so for myself in return.

hidinginthenightgarden · 09/03/2018 15:57

I think yabu.
It is deceitful. My DH told me he was going to the shop a couple of weeks ago, an hour later I rang him and he was in the pub. I was really pissed off that he thought it acceptable to lie about where he was just to get some time away. If he had said he wanted to go to the pub for an hour for some headspace I wouldn't have minded at all.

Namechangemum100 · 09/03/2018 15:59

I'm a sahm and if my husband did this I'd be furious.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 09/03/2018 15:59

Just saw your update. Just be honest. Say ‘I’ve finished, I’m popping to the library on the way home. Will take the kids for an hour tomorrow if you want some downtime tomorrow’.

Rachie1986 · 09/03/2018 16:00

If the tables were turned I'd be very upset if DH did this..

PaperdollCartoon · 09/03/2018 16:00

Why not just ring him and say ‘have been told I can leave an hour early, would you mind if I went and got a coffee and spent an hour reading before coming home at usual time - we’ll find time for you have an hour to yourself this weekend as well’

Quartz2208 · 09/03/2018 16:00

Yep if a man decided to do it and a SAHM came on and said that he had been home late all week and then decided he needed a hour to himself rather than come home the posts would be very different.

GinIsIn · 09/03/2018 16:01

Considering he’s already done more than his share of parenting this week, it would be a bit twatty, yes.