Wedding gifts- cheap & cheerful?

[Paie]

I've been invited to a colleagues wedding in the summer, 2 weeks before my due date so I will be huge!
Money isn't great, and certainly won't be 2 weeks before DC2's arrival!
On the invitation it simply says "a donation towards our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated". Much like a thread I saw earlier the couple already live together, do not need household things ect.

I've only ever been to a few weddings- what on earth do we get them?

AIBU to try to make this gift as cheap as possible but not appear so?

Only recently found out that friend of my parents (very nice friends) always give a vase as a wedding present because it’s not easy to tell how much it cost and so they can tailor it to their budget at that time or how well they know the couple. We got a vase for a wedding present from them... 🤔

I don't think I'd even go - use being heavily pregnant to get out of it! I would hate any of the crap suggested as cheap presents too - I'd far prefer the £20! I think that's a bit cheeky on an evening invitation tbh.

If its an evening invite give them a nice card and 20 quid in the currency of the honeymoon. They aren’t going to want a cheap gift dressed up as a better one because they haven’t asked for it.

If you're going as part of a group I'd suggest a big card and a collection whatever you can afford. And don't worry about putting £20 in. A tenner per head is perfectly adequate.

Just give them as much money as you can afford, £10 or £100 it doesnt matter. The wording on the invitation means ' we really really dont want photo frames/mr mrs mugs/any trinkets as you see fit'.

Please don't give them mr/mrs mugs our mil did this at Xmas for some reason. Ours went unused to charity shop.

Most people don't invite guests because they expect an expensive present. I don't see how suggesting cash to put towards a honeymoon or something big for the house is 'brazen'. Let's face it, even kettles and toasters (that you would actually want in your kitchen) are expensive unless you're buying from a 'home essentials' range. If you already have a home, then it's probably already full of duplicates of things that you don't need. Why would you want more that are to someone else's taste rather than your own. A present should be given because you want to give it and bought with the person in mind rather than yourself. I would much rather put money in an envelope than spend time, money and energy trying to work out what to get that won't end up in a charity shop (& probably get it wrong). I really don't understand why people get so offended about people asking for what they actually want!

I would give cash either in pounds or the currency of their honeymoon destination.

We got plenty of cards with £10/£20 in for our wedding and were thrilled. Added together they made a few hundred pounds which we spent doing activities and buying souvenirs of our choice on our honeymoon.
All the silver photo frames and Mr & Mrs tat ended up at the charity shop and we aren't that keen on champagne so that got regifted but we were just happy people turned up to be honest. I seriously doubt anyone expects to make a profit from their wedding!

I wouldn't bother to go. Asking for cash is rude and even ruder are people who expect the guests to pay for whatever the cost to host them might have been. For an evening do? Nah.

But also 2 weeks before your due date? You could have to back out if you have the baby or you may not feel up to going. Decline.

I'd rather spend 20 quid down the local than propping up someone's holiday.

I'm with some of the others - you have a really good excuse not to go if you don't want to! And by not going you'll save them money 😁

Get two smart luggage tags for their honeymoon suitcases, job done.

'For those saying I'm mean for not wanting to spend out, it's going to cost us more than £40 to attend the night anyway- And we won't be there for more than a couple of hours. We really don't have the cash to spare- lots of sick time recently has seriously messed with our finances. So by June we'll finally be able to start buying baby bits- only a month before DUe date!'

Seriously, keep your money for your baby. £60 for someone's holiday when you're skint is ridiculous.

Get two smart luggage tags for their honeymoon suitcases, job done

More pointless tat. If they survive the baggage handling system there and back, I'll be astonished.

Give them cash, or stick to a card, FFS.

Mr and Mrs mugs would go straight to charity shop - sorry.

If you want to go and like them then just put what you'd spend on the tat or bubbly in a card, even if it's a fiver.

If you don't like them, don't want to go or can't afford to go then don't.

OP are other colleagues invited? go with the brilliant envelope idea/pig idea and see if the boss can up it. And just don't go if you're skint and it'll cost you more for the evening do than you'd be able to give for the present.

If you're going to buy alcohol make sure you know they actually like it.
Alcohol seems to be a bit of a default present and I would be so disappointed to be given it as a wedding present as I don't drink at all and my partner doesn't drink in the house so it would go to waste for us.

Get Mr and Mrs mugs from a charity shop.
Or put a tenner in a card

Asking for money is so rude. I know it’s the done thing now but it doesn’t make it any better IMO.

If a couple don’t ask specifically for money, they will get money off us, if they do ask for money, they will get a bottle of champers. Prosecco if the request is made in one of those shit, twee, grabby ‘gift poems’.

So what is the polite way? Make no mention of presents on invitations, as if no-one would ever think to take a gift to a wedding?

Guests then either have to chase up B&G for a list, which because they aren't allowed to ask for money, have to think up a selection of household items across a good price range that they don't want or need so people can buy them a gift, because no-one could possibly attend a wedding empty handed so it's polite to buy them something you know they don't want and will clutter up their house until they give it away or take it to the charity shop?

Do you know someone at the main reception? Ask them to take a nice photo of the couple and send it to you. Get it printed out (one of those supermarket booths) and pop it in a cheap frame and give it to the bride and groom when you arrive. Someone did that on our wedding day and it was so lovely to see a photo of us actually on the day. It wasn't the best photo taken of us, or a frame I would have chosen, but I still have it up 8 years later because it was the first.

20 quid in a card from an evening guest = great. Random shite (Mr and mrs mugs, photo frame, etc) = going to the charity shop. Bottle of fizz + gift bag = near enough £20 anyway, so you've saved next to nothing AND got them something they may not want that's not that special.

Just put £20 in a card and have done with it!

Demanding money is rude. Demanding it with a passive aggressive poem is rude. Asking for it politely because they don't want a mass of unchosen items that they might not have room for is not.

By all means only give what you can afford, but actively choosing to give them something they have asked to avoid, just shows that you think your choosing is more important than the recipient.

If you don't want to go just politely decline staying that you will be too close to due date. Inviting you is a compliment but I'm sure they will be fine with you not going. You don't have to say yes to an invite.