To find Mother’s Day cards difficult to find and send to my tricky mother

[Timeforachange2018]

I find mother’s day weird. I love being a mum and try to be the best mum I can be to my 2.

But I hate mother’s days cards for these reasons:
My mother isn’t my best friend
She isn’t the best mother in the world
She isn’t the most loving kind person I will know
She hasn’t done everything for me or sacrificed everything for me

She’s actually selfish and narcissistic and controlling and distant and cold and unsupportive. She has made my life really difficult and I have spent years trying to get over the lack of love and support.

I literally scrolled through moon pig unable to find a card I wanted to send. In the end I chose the plainest one possible as it was the only appropriate one.

I am really lucky because my lovely children will send me cards but Aibu to still find Mother’s Day really difficult because my mother isn’t anything like the messages in any of he cards

Sorry your mum hasn't been much of a mum to you.

I had the same sort of problem but for different reasons. I'm very fond of my mum but she's now both physically disabled and struggling with increasing dementia. It feels insensitive to send a card saying "have a wonderful day " (she won't - every day is a bit upsetting for her now) or "you do so much for us, put your feet up today" (she can't do anything for us and very little for herself, and spends most of her time with her feet up by necessity). I managed to find one that just said something like "to my lovely mum on your special day" or similar, but the picture was quite boring. I think there should be a lot more cards with no or fairly neutral message so you could add your own.

My sister and I have always struggled with this. Our mum has always been very distant and difficult, not a motherly type at all. (I'm currently dealing with her derelict house as she has ended up sleeping in my spare room but that's another story!) I look at all those "To a wonderful mum" and "I love you mum, you're the best mum in the world" cards and think, well, my mum has never been a wonderful mum and although I feel a duty not to see her homeless I wouldn't say I loved her as such. I usually just find one that says "Happy Mothers Day". I'll give her that with a box of chocolates.

My lovely MIL (now with dementia) on the other hand deserves all the gushy cards and big bunches of flowers she will get!

I could have written this - similarly yesterday when lots of people were posting on international Mother's Day about theirs amazing mothers being their inspiration. Safe to say it is not something I could say about mine. In fact I might stay off Facebook on Sunday because I've a suspicion than DM is getting increasing miffed that she is never tagged in any of the "you are amazing, my best friend, my inspiration" type posts

Our Mil was the same before we went NC... it is possible to find them blank and just say happy Mother's Day .. it takes a while to read them all but they are there .