AIBU Mother’s day

[Kika2901]

Feel free to put me in my place but does anyone else’s husband put as much efforts

I hear you op. That would bug me a bit. The card he gives his mum is signed by everyone anyway!

Mothering Sunday, to me, is about celebrating the person who plays the main mothering role in your life (be that your mother not), not every single person who plays any sort of mothering role in your life. Never heard of this giving cards and gifts to everyone before!

This buying Grandmothers cards and presents on Mother's Day is a new one on me. We've never done it.

However I can't see why you're so bothered if your DH gets a present for his mum as if your dc have bought it. It sounds so petty OP.

I take it from your posts you're not a huge fan of you MIL then?
You're still getting something nice from your dc aren't you?

It technically is a Christian event when on a certain date before Lent people would visit their 'Mother church'

Actually Bookmum, it's the fourth Sunday during Lent, also sometimes known as Refreshment Sunday.

Goid grief, don’t be so precious! I think you are being selfish and your Hubby sounds like a lovely person!

But also, I don't really expect my partner to buy me things 'from my child', I'd rather something home made from my child. Said child is too young to make anything yet though!

We do tend to have a big family lunch with everyone included, but gifts and cards for everyone seems a bit odd to me.

I get my mum a gift/card, dp gets his mum a gift/card. My boys get me a gift card (which dp helps them pick). They don't give one to their nanna's as they're not their mum.

My kids make cards for me, and both their grandmothers on Mothers' Day, and for their dad and both grandfathers on Fathers' Day. The only part of your OP I agree with is it is totally unnecessary to line card shop pockets by buying "grandma on mothers day" cards. IMHO a card or letter handwritten/drawn by a child is much lovelier and more meaningful.

You sound like hard work. It's not as if he is neglecting you. YABU.

It's a tricky one. It is nice to do but I groan inwardly a bit every year when I realise it's coming (awful I know) because of all the cards and gifts I feel I should buy for Aunts and Grandmas etc as well as Mums!

I found a card in Clintons that reads 'For a special mum who's a wonderful grandma' and I thought that was a good idea if you're unsure about separate cards from the grandchildren.

I think it's cute tbh. I've signed my mum's card from me and my baby daughter this year and will probably encourage her to make a card for her grandma as she gets bigger. I've given my Granny cards and flowers on Mother's Day too, it's all the maternal line after all.

YANBU Agree with piffle11 I don't remember seeing grandmothers cards in the shops a few years ago? When and why did that start? If your grandmother has treated you as a mother and been a bigger part of your life then maybe you could find a card to suit anyway, without the grandmother cards being so in your face in every shop, guilt tripping you almost into buying one! I buy my DM a card/gift and DMIL a card/gift. My children make or buy me one too, all happy. When will it ever end otherwise, will there be a 'great grandmothers' card available soon as well?! I'm sorry but I think it's crazy.

Surely if your parents help you out with your children and are a big part of their lives then your mothers day card to them gives thanks for that, you should be thanking them not your children!

I'm nearly 50. It was usual to buy your Nan, where I lived. In those days it was usually flowers and/or favourite chocolates.

I gave to my Mum and my Nan, even as an Adult. I never felt that it undermined it for me, I think that's odd, tbh. It teaches the children appreciation, thoughtfulness and kindness.

However if your female relatives don't deserve that, then don't do it.

But as someone ages, if it stops them from feeling defunct and isolated, why not include them?

Apologies Deedee - during Lent. That's what I meant!!!

I've never bothered doing anything for my mum from ds for Mother's Day although I did send a card to my nana. But I give a card/present to my mum and ds gives me a card (and sometimes present but I think it's all a bit over the top especially as I mentioned on another thread it often falls on or very close to my birthday).

But ultimately it's down to what people want - but if you want to show your mum and mum-in-law they are appreciated doesn't that happen with a card from you and DH? Also, when I was in the card shop to find a card for my mum I did think the card "to my wife on Mother's Day" was a bit over the top though.

DH has got a card for his mum but it is sitting unsigned in our dining room at the moment. He is cutting it fine!

As with all these days it's all got commercialised and silly. If you appreciate your mum/grandmother/aunt whoever, let them know all day, not just one day when Hallmark tells you to.

all year not day!

Surely it's a nice chance to get young children to learn about who makes up their family and how everyone fits in. Telling a child that "once upon a time Mummy was a little girl too and Granny is her Mummy" can be quite a new concept to a small child (or "when Mummy was a little girl she lived with Auntie who looked after her" or whatever etc.)

so you don't like the kids getting his mum gifts as she is not their mum

but you are happy for your DH to buy you gifts - when you are not his mum?

YABU and bit precious

I get something for my Nans, my mum, my partners wife who passed away we take flowers, flowers to crem for his Mum and then I make sure my daughter gets a little something for her Dads partner as well because she looks after her and they do stuff together and that should be appreciated. Like Christmas we all have our own ways of doing it, there is no right or wrong way just do what suits you

Traditionally, it was a day when children, mainly daughters, who had gone to work as domestic servants were given a day off to visit their mother and family."

This isn’t actually strictly true. Mothering Sunday is the day that people were supposed to go to their ‘mother church’, usually the one they were baptised at. Domestic servants were given the day off to attend their ‘mother church’. And it was incidental that the way society was constructed at this time meant it would usually be a time to visit your mother and family because more often than not they would be in the same place. This has developed over time into the secular mother’s day Holiday partly because it’s been quite aggressively marketed.

So really, if the OP is going to complain about ‘manufactured holiday’s’ lining the supermarkets pockets then she should be refusing all gifts for herself and sending her family off to church!

OP, YABVU mean spirited and tight fisted. As long as you are getting something nice it’s really churlish to complain about a small token. If you were that bothered about commercialism you wouldn’t take anything else. It’s really, really mean to start worrying about commercialism only when it’s money being spent on someone else.

And given a lot of people either won’t get anything or have someone to give to it’s really silly to bothered by it.

I get something for my mum and my eldest Dd1 makes a card for my DM and as a family we take flowers to mil's grave on Mother's Day. I don't think it takes anything away from what the girls make or do for/with me or what I do for/with my DM

YANBU my kids give to me, their mother. I give from me to my mother.

My kids don't give to their grandmother because she isn't their mother.

tbh it's a whole load of madeup shite anyway as I know my children appreciate and love me as does my mother know this. I don't need a card to confirm it. I do though make the most of the whole 'you must be extra nice to me today' stuff, may aswell go with the flow on that one

Not sure iit really matters OP. I send cards and gifts to DD's DGMsx2 on the paternal side from DD and get something for my DM from me and DD and DD makes a card too. It's just appreciating the various Mums we have be they step, grand, or whoever in our lives. Not worth knicker knotting over.

In Australia it is Mothers Day, not Mothering Sunday or whatever you call it, and ever since I can remember I always sent a card to my grandmothers on the day - just as for grandfathers on Fathers Day. I continue this with my DC with separate cards / calls to grandparents too. DH is responsible for 'remembering' his parents on those days, from himself and from DCs.

OP I think you are being a bit hypocritical to allow your DH to facilitate you being acknowledged but not wanting anyone else to be acknowledged.

As for those saying they never used to see cards for grandparents on Mothers and Fathers Day, I genuinely see them wherever I see cards for parents on those days. There have always been people who have acknowledged people other than their own birth parents. YABU

Yes more recently but you never used to see them when I was younger round where I live! Everything is getting more commercialised. Like others have said, we shouldn't feel we have to tell the special people in our lives we appreciate them when the card shops tell us to! I am waiting for Wife Appreciation Day tho ...

My DC buy my DM a Mothers' Day card. I take them to choose it, and I pay for it. YABU and ridiculous.