Would you urge your DH to get his prostrate checked?

[JustVent]

DH is 48 and quite a bit older than me.

I keep seeing things about prostate cancer and ‘off chances’ that someone got theirs checked and it was cancer etc

DH’s urine stream is very slow and has been for a while.

I know men can get enlarged prostates, but I’m worried about something nasty like prostate cancer. I’ve already lost a very close friend to cancer and I worry. Perhaps over worry.

Am I over worrying?

If it was your DH, would you insist?

He kind of says “Yeah I’ll see the doctor” but he says it in a way that means he hopes I’ll just forget about it. He’s an adult so I shouldn’t be mothering him.

WWYD?

Name change fail.

Fuck sake.

DH is self-nagging. He went because he was concerned about his DM's cancer. I don't think I should be in charge of the family's health but then again there's a reason married men live longer than unmarried ones!

I think it's something that should be checked regularly to be honest. It's a bit embarrassing as tests go I guess which is why men don't get it done. But then so are smears so he just needs to suck it up.

I've always associated it with older men, though DH is 52. I just don't think of him as old as he doesn't seem it. A lot of my friends have fathers with prostrate trouble but we haven't thought about our husbands. Maybe we should.

There's a lot in the news this past week about the importance of men having a prostate check. My DH is mid fifties and I've repeatedly asked him to ask for a PSA test, just that. Yeah, maybe he says.

You can lead a horse to water etc.

I think it's important that men do have a check at their GPs, but how do we get them to listen?
Women have all sorts checked at different stages of their lives. Men don't and don't like talking about it either.

I wish my DH and your DH would just go to the GP!

It's so important to keep on at him to get it checked.
My Df has pre-cancerous cells in his prostate. He gets it checked yearly I believe to make sure the cells are not rising significantly etc.
This was found in his early 50's
Thankfully everything is going well.
Maybe offer to go with him. This was the first ever time my father went to the doctors to be honest and was nervous.

None of this is as simple as the media makes it sound. I’m a GP who has seen a lot of men asking for a PSA rest in the last few weeks. Prostate testing in men without significant symptoms causes more harm than good, which is why there is no national screening program like there is for cervical cancer. A positive PSA test does not necessarily mean cancer (but does mean an unpleasant biopsy through the rectum).
Here’s more information. A decision on testing needs to be a truly informed decision. patient.info/health/prostate-and-urethra-problems/features/psa-testing-options

Added to what Plonky says, a normal PSA test doesn’t necessarily mean no cancer either as there is also a false negative rate, so a normal test may actually give false reassurance.

@PlonkyPlink in which case, give his symptom and his argument (it’s his age) would I be suitable for him not to seek advice at the GP?

Yes, of course it’s reasonanle to see his GP, maybe have a rectal exam first, then decide with advice from the GP whether to go ahead.

...and agree with vipers about negative test too.
Always discuss symptoms with a GP, but it’s important to understand the consequences of tests. The media like to make complex issues seem straight-forward.

@sunshine that's the same as my dad. He has to go 6 monthly to make sure it's not rising. He's 58.

I see, thank you.

Can you explain what prostate symptoms should be checked by GP?
My dp is 45 and his urine flow is slower than it used to be. What else should we look out for?

I'd been wondering about suggesting DH had a check (60) but there was an article in the Times today which said pretty much the same as Plonky.

My oh complained of a slower flow about 2 years ago now. He went to the GP and had a prostate check and a flow test. His prostate was fine but as his flow did test slower than normal they put in on medication and sent him for a camera to be put down his penis into the bladder as a precaution. At the time my mum had just died and my dad was termanally ill, both due to cancer so he didn’t tell me as he didn’t want me to worry. He chickened out of the camera and just ignored it. Fast forward 6 months and he passed blood. He went back to the GP and went for the camera. They found a tumour in his bladder and told him that it is most likely stage one bladder cancer. Our world fell apart. He had an mri as they were worried it had spread to the kidney due to the location, size and length of time he had had symptoms. Luckily it hadn’t spread. He was then operated on to remove the tumour and had a chemo wash to help prevent it coming back ( bladder cancer has a very high chance of returning ). We were told that the biopsy will determine the stage of the cancer. All through this I questioned if it could be benign to be told no. The chances are very very slim and it is at best stage one non invasive bladder cancer. 3 weeks passed and we got his biopsy results to be told that it isn’t malignant. The consultant said that he was totally shocked to find out it was benign and his case had to go to a meeting to work out what to do next regarding check ups as he has never come across a tumour that “ presented “ as this one that was not cancerous. He has since had another camera and all is clear.
In my research I found that slow flow is one of the first signs of bladder cancer but if it’s caught early it is very treatable and has the highest success rate.
My point is he needs to get it checked. It could be lots of things including an underlying infection but if it is something else an early diagnosis is crucial.

I'm going to tell DH about it.

OP - I would get it checked out. I don't mean to scare anyone, but my dh had a weak stream and was eventually found he had aggressive prostate cancer at age 43. No other symptoms. So yeah, I'd book him an appointment.

We were told prostate cancer comes in 2 types

Kitten - very slow growing and likely to die WITH it not from it (but found in autopsy)

Tiger - very fast growing and likely to die from it, if not removed/treated or stopped from spreading to lymph nodes and bones

My family members had Tigers

Please get it checked out with PSA and DRE

For more information look on prostate cancer uk website or speak to their amazing nurses online or over the phone

Thank you. I know I’m going to piss him off by nagging as well.

But I will, just in case.

You’re not nagging though OP, you’re raising awareness & he should be greatful of that.
Prostate cancer prevention, isn’t taking seriously enough in this country & this has to change

@Plonkyplink should someone with a family history of prostate cancer get regular checks?

DHs grandad and a couple of his uncles have had it, so I’m wondering if regular screening for DH would be a good idea. He’s early 40s.

Dh's Dad died of aggressive prostate cancer, but he doesn't get his PSA checked due to the problems with the false readings.

@ihavechillytoes you’re right about different types of prostate cancer. The problem is that we currently have no good way of telling which are “kittens” or “tigers”. So a lot of men end up having their prostate’s removed and hormonal therapy and the side effects that come with it (erectile dysfunction, urinary incontinence etc). Once we have a way of accurately telling, that will really change treatment for the better.

@curlsandcurves It really depends on what age his relatives had prostate cancer. It they were all in their 80’s, probably not, but if they were in their 50’s, probably yes.