Would you urge your DH to get his prostrate checked?

[JustVent]

DH is 48 and quite a bit older than me.

I keep seeing things about prostate cancer and ‘off chances’ that someone got theirs checked and it was cancer etc

DH’s urine stream is very slow and has been for a while.

I know men can get enlarged prostates, but I’m worried about something nasty like prostate cancer. I’ve already lost a very close friend to cancer and I worry. Perhaps over worry.

Am I over worrying?

If it was your DH, would you insist?

He kind of says “Yeah I’ll see the doctor” but he says it in a way that means he hopes I’ll just forget about it. He’s an adult so I shouldn’t be mothering him.

WWYD?

Nag him. Nag him. Nag him. Nag him. Nag him.

Not pester, no.

I'd send a link to info about it and suggest he gets checked out but then it's down to him. It's his body so he gets to have the right to make his own risk assessments and decisions on what he wants to be screened for or not. I'd feel pretty disempowered if my OH didn't trust me to manage my own health and kept going on at me to have health tests done that I had decided against!

Plus it keeps reinforcing this idea that men are incapable of making decisions about their own health and it's the woman's job to take on the burden of nagging and going on about it which is bullshit. Men and women are both grown adults.

There was a good programme discussing the issues around testing and treatment on R4 yesterday afternoon - I can't get the mobile site to work properly, but it was some kind of regular medical programme that had the prostate cancer episode yesterday to replace the one that had been scheduled on cardiac rehab.

It really went in to questions around testing and treatment with various oncologists/urologists: well worth listening to.

Gosh, that website is shite! It was Inside Health: Prostate Cancer if anyone wants to listen again - unfortunately can't do links on my phone

The Radio 4 programme was “Inside Health.”

Show him the very moving talk by the lovely Bill Turnbull that was shown at the end of Celebrity Bake-Off this week (it's on catch-up).
He talks about how, if he'd gone for a checkup earlier, he wouldn't now have terminal cancer which has spread to his bones... It's very straightforward - and so, so sad...

I mentioned it to mine yesterday because he's mid-50's and takes ages to have a wee now - start, trickle, stop etc

He humoured me but I know he won't do anything about it and the more I mention it the less likely he is to do it.

I asked DH (56) about this yesterday after listening to a programme on R4 about it.

He flatly refused to go for a test!

He had been listening to the same programme (in the car) and come to the conclusion that there was no point in being tested.

At least I've made sure he is aware of it (and he was) - I can't force him to go for a test though.

@PlonkyPlink yes, but they don't go straight from PSA and DRE to removal

They do a core biopsy procedure to get the Gleeson Score, which will give a good indication of whether you have a kitten or tiger

I have just asked my DH and he says it felt like a sharp sting as they take the core biopsy then afterwards he did wee blood but no other problems

Also a CT/PET scan to see if cancer had spread and maybe a bone scan

Seriously having a tiger is like a "ticking time bomb" if not removed. It must be caught in time before spreading to surrounding organs, lymph nodes and bones

I would definitely encourage your husband to get checked out, prostate problems (mainly cancer) can lead to erectile dysfunction! As well as incontinence & death.

My dad is 70, he recovered from prostate cancer 3 years ago luckily but had minimal symptoms., he tells everyone to get checked out.

He knows some much younger men with prostate cancer, sadly it's harder to cure in younger men.

We think every man over eg 45 should be screened, just like women are screened for cancer.

My DH has a BUPA medical every 2 years and this will be the first year they check his prostate as a matter of course - he has just turned 40 - before 40 they check testicles only! He's not looking forward to it, but I remind him of all the poking and prodding I have endured and he shuts up (he moaned that he had to take his shirt off for the practice nurse at our GP surgery to give him a typhoid jab and the nurse and I both had a snigger, as she has seen significantly more of me!). On that basis, I would say it is sensible for men over 40 to get checked at regular intervals - maybe every 3 years, like smears?

I thought that only accurate way of determining whether the cancer was "kitten or tiger," is after the prostate has been removed and biopsied. Of course, by then it's too late if you have the kitten type.

DH (who is over 50) asked his GP if he could have the test and it came back high! He wees more often but not slowly. An MRI scan showed no sign of cancer but that his prostate gland was greatly enlarged, so they are keeping a close eye on it.

Although the level of PSA is kind of matched by the size of the gland, obviously we don't know why it's so enlarged - could be because he's overweight or it could always have been like that! So no answers yet. At least he is on their radar now.

we were told ds should start getting tests done around age 30.

The core biopsy is sort of taking a biopsy with a thingy that I think is like a hole punch gun

They do it via the rectum

They took 14 samples from DH

they then test them against Gleeson score

This shows if tiger or kitten

My cousin had a low Gleeson (kitten) and so had seed radiotherapy to sort him out but others in the family had much higher and so were tigers

So therefore went for having it out

Read all about it on PROSTATE CANCER UK website

There is also a forum on there to ask questions of other people going thru it too

Or ring or web chat the wonderful nurses they are lovely

My dad had all the symptoms of prostate cancer bar one. He went to the doctors and had tests and they came back fine so he was sent for a tube into his urethra which they filled and scanned to see when it contracted. He has an overactive bladder which was causing all his symptoms.

My dad has just finished treatment for prostrate cancer, his PSA was very low and normally they wouldn’t even send that level for more checks but the doc wasn’t happy with the feel of it. Luckily for him he saw the right people as it was cancer. Diagnosed last August, treatment finished 3 weeks ago. Keep nagging him.

@IhaveChillyToes I’m glad your husband had a straightforward biopsy. But prostate biopsy is not without risks and some men find it very painful. I’ve seen men have a negative biopsy but be left with long term pain and have wound infections leading to abscesses. If you have a positive biopsy and go onto have treatment which may prolong life, of course these things will seem worth it. If you have a negative biopsy, perhaps not so much.

I’m not against PSA testing, but testing all men as a matter of course has never been shown to prolong life, but does cause harm to healthy individuals. Targeting PSA testing at symptomic individuals is more sensible.

In our healthcare area prostate biopsies can be done in the peritoneal cavity, which has less risk of infection. Still sounds painful though.
(Mind you, having a hysteroscopy with local anaesthetic only is painful. )

The reason I think it is good idea to have biopsy is to get Gleeson to find out tiger or kitten

Also if the DRE is bumpy like walnut, I think there is something seriously wrong with prostate and that shouldn't be ignored

I think that medical staff should do DRE (and maybe PSA tests if dodgy) as a routine like smears are done.

After all DRE won't cost NHS any extra money apart from a GP appointment, or maybe a double one, so that the GP can have time to explain it to the man

Yes some of them will be kittens and some tigers and some symptoms might be caused by infection, bladder problems, enlarged but not cancerous prostate (btw iirc enlarged prostates are smooth rather than hard and knobbly like a walnut)

I think men should be encouraged to go to see GP and I think a good idea is for GP practices to hold WELL MAN CLINICS on an evening once a month. Our practice has evening appointments and Saturday morning already so that people who are at work 9-5 can go along after work rather than taking time off

I think sports or social clubs could hold well man clinics by using some of the subs to pay a private dr to go along once a season. After all, if it is golf/rugby/football/cricket/British legion/etc clubs they probably have someone with connections with private Dr

Or have a portable clinic (like the portable mammogram thingys that go to supermarket car parks) that goes round football matches/pubs/clubs for men to have a DRE

That might be a way of getting men to connect with medical staff

I think it is as important for men to be checked for this as it is for women for breast cancer (and other cancers). When my Dad's problems were first picked up he was told they men should never attribute problems in urinating (slow flow, going more often etc.,) to getting older. It could be that, be it could be something more serious. So yes, he should go and see. Perhaps you could phrase it in a way compared to your own health, e.g., do you think I shouldn't go for smear tests, for mammograms?

My husband was diagnosed at 52. It was in almost every bone in his body. I lost him when he was 54. If I could go back in time I would make him an appointment and drag him to the doctor. I’m 50 this week and a widow. Tell him that 5 mins of embarrassment at the doctors might prevent him leaving behind a heartbroken widow.

If you want advice go to prostatecanceruk.org

BTY he was there is absolutely no history of it or breast cancer in his very large family, including the multitude of aunts, uncles and cousins.

Yes, I've had this convo with DH yesterday. He struggles to wee. He said he'd go to drs, but it's so hard to get an appointment that fits in with work.

positively