To think I'll never eat normally again?

[Pointlessfacts]

So desperately lost & no longer know what to do

I've had a food addiction for as long as I can remember but last year after the birth of my son, I got it under control.

Well, for the last 4 months I've "gone on a diet" or binged on food to extreme.

I am incapable of inbetween.

I know I'm not hungry but the thought of food just screams loudly....I'm like a drug addict, I have to get the food like NOW.

Everyday I wake up, I tell myself, today is the day il get it back under control & then il smell trigger foods, hear packets being rustled, see food on the tv & boom, that voice is louder than the day before.

It's so out of control it's making me gain weight at an excessive rate & also incredibly ill.

Please, does anyone have any advice?? Il try anything.

I'm desperate

I sadly can’t offer any advice myself as I have this exact same problem. I have come to the conclusion that I can never eat ‘normally’ I would also like to hear any advice. I am trying to follow the weight watchers plan but today went out the window. I had the day off and have basically eaten all day, I couldn’t help myself. You’re not alone op.

Have you looked for professional help? Maybe www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/types/binge-eating-disorder ?

Have you had any support in the past for eating disorders? If so please contact them again to get support. If not, there is B-EAT which you may find helpful: www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk and there is also your GP.

Please don't feel alone in this, many people have felt the same as you, and there is support out there if you want to address it.

Can I recommend the ‘brain over binge’ podcast? You have to stick with it and listen to it every time you want to eat crap, but it works. It really re-wires your brain. I’ve lost 3 stone and counting, and feel like I will never binge again. Instead I count calories and have a little bit of what I fancy. I feel like I have been freed. I really hope it works for you too.

You need to teach yourself will power, you know your problem, so you need to learn how to control it.

Personally food for me has always been to survive, so I now give myself 1500 calories to eat, however I find that very difficult to do, I’m not naturally slim either, (size 12-14) however I’m finding the more I eat the more I’m losig weight, as my body isn’t biting ketones.

You need to find something that will not make you want to binge eat, hopefully you can find it OP x

Actually going back to work solved my obsession. I didn’t have time or access and I lost interest.

Over eaters anonymous may help.

Don’t put the tv on.

Could you go swimming? It’s impossible to eat while you do that, and even just gentle Lane swimming will be good exercise.

Buy magazines for dieting and leave them all around so that if you do get hungry you can look at them, read other success stories and get inspired.

This worked for me.

This was me for all of my 20s.
Did 6 weeks CBT
, had a few counselling sessions too.
Was surprised it worked but getting to the bottom of why I was driven to binge on food really really helped.

It was awful and my heart goes out to you OP xx

Thank you for all your replies of support & also advice!

I did visit my doctor who gave me a sympathetic smile and advised there is no help for food addiction, she did however say if I needed treatment because I was anorexic, that I'd get all the treatment needed.

I'm fully accepting and understanding the pressures on the NHS & the lack of funding for people with food addictions

When I finally get on track, I do very well. It's just getting over the first hurdle.

I've read so much that it's exactly the same as an addiction to drugs, it affects the same part of the brain.

I sympathise with drug users.

I cycle through the eating disorders on a yearly rotation. This year seems to the year of the binge, sadly. I was badly bulimic last year. I will never be Normal either OP. Lindy knows in real life.

I bought ephedrine from Canada because nothing
Is stopping the binges. I can’t stop, I’d actually Like to be ill

People who have never had an issue with binge eating have no concept of what it's like. You cannot completely give up food in the way you can drugs or alcohol. I've had a problem with it for as long as I can remember and it makes me miserable.

I’ve felt like this for a lot of my life. In the past few weeks I’ve lost 2.5stone by going vegan. It makes me think so much about what I’m eating. I’m not saying I don’t crave other food and it isn’t hard (it is!)... but it’s so controlled in a different way. It’s not about dieting or portion control, it’s about food control, and as a result, I’ve naturally lost weight.

I have binges but I’ve still managed to lose 4 stone.

I work out so I can allow for the extra calories and my body is fitter so it can handle “crap food” much better. I ate like a pig over Christmas and gained 1lb.

Never had a problem to the same extremes, but I think I can identify with the urge to eat for eating's sake. (Rather than due to hunger.) And the negative feelings which follow. (As it will normally be something crappy - at least in the end, even if I start off with something healthy!)

Fortunately for me, I have never been very overweight or underweight and was never tempted to purge in any way. Cos I think if i had found I could purge (like making as if it never happened) it might have become a habit and a worse problem.

I am now (just turned 60) a good weight and I keep it stable. But find I need to restrict my eating to once a day to prevent over-consuming as I am not that physically active so I don't need many calories per day. (And prefer to eat them all at once! So I can have what I fancy.)

I do this by only eating in the evening.

Bfast and lunch I just skip. Unless I feel hungry. Cos it's easier to just not start to eat than to just eat a small portion.

Tho I drink coffee or tea all day thru -with milk. (No sugar.)

I eat in the evenings, rather than at lunchtime, as I don't like to go to bed feeling hungry.

Luckily, I never wake up feeling hungry and seldom feel hungry before my evening meal time. So it's not a hardship for me to eat the way i do.

Agree with you than eating addiction can be like drug/alcohol addiction and most ppl are not at all under-weight yet ppl are forever pushing food at one another and suggestion to meet over food. Yet would never push an alcoholic to "go on just have one" ...

So I have had to learn how to say "no thanks" quite firmly (to offers of food when I am not hungry or it's not what I need/want to eat) and to not worry if I am being (a bit)rude.

Before I would take some food to be polite. (But why do we need to be always eating?)

I now explain (if I really need to) that I get up late and usually only eat once in the late evening. And that we all eat too much and too often!

Going back to the urges you have to eat, try to find an absorbing hobby or distraction activity as I am sure we eat more when we are bored or in situations we associate with food eg watching TV?

For instance, I find I only tend to eat at home so the longer I stay out the less tempted I will be to eat! (I will happily wait till I get home even if I am quite hungry.)

Also I find being mentally absorbed helps eg when reading or doing a tough puzzle of some sort?

Or being active? Eg going for a walk/run or just dancing to some loud music.

Agree than once in a good mood (ie good weight, feeling happy) one can more easily dodge the urge to eat rubbish. So the trick is to not let a mini-binge throw you off course. (Tho it is annoying when the self-control button isn't working!)

You know what you have to do which is half he battle. So ignore any "social occasion" eating invitations (or 'commands') if they are unhelpful to your eating plan. And good luck!

Amazing responses.

Thank you for taking the time to offer advice!

I've started "Day 1" again today, I've had my breakfast & lunch and won't be eating again until after my DS goes to bed.

I feel fine so far but next week is my birthday & I'm being taken out for a meal 4 nights in a row!
I am however trying to plan what I'm having in advance to try and lessen the cravings for other foods.

I wish I could just wake up and be "normal" again but sadly that's asking for a miracle.

I'm the same. I went to the gp and begged for help but was told as it's not a 'proper' eating disorder they can't offer help.

I've recently come across the book Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen (might be connected to the podcast someone mentioned upthread) and it makes so much sense. It's so empowering. I'm early days so far but I see a light at the end of the tunnel now. Good luck, it's a bloody miserable way of living.

Hi op.im the same,I've bulimia for yrs ,and I'm a food addict too.there are lots of books on amazon about food addiction...I managed to stop the bulimia ,but it was the hardest thing I've done.from there I binged and binged with out being sick..I went vegan,that didn't help,as I ate bags and bags of crisps..it is an emotional hole that yr trying to fill.no amount of food will fill it,because food dosnt equal love.you need to make peace with what's eating you up from the inside.then learn to live yourself again.stop punishing yourself with rubbish foods and nourish your body with the nutrients it needs.diets don't work.the weight always goes back on when you come off and go back to your old eating habits...now if I could just follow that advice .....

Love not live

I agree with the pp who said it is an emotional hole you are trying to fill (although for years I scoffed at that, as I scoffed down another packet of scones).
There was an episode in my life I hadn’t dealt with and it was those emotions I was trying to keep frombubbling to the surface by eating .
No diet or food plan will fix a binge eater. In the same way an anorexic can’t be cured by eating more.
X

In a lot of ways a drinker/ smoker/ drug taker ,it's easier as you know you have to cut it out,and you know your body dosnt need it..food is another matter altogether.we have to eat to live.so somehow we have to make peace with ourselves to allow ourselves the nutrients we need.sometimes ive thought I'm deliberately punishing myself by overeating,I hate myself so much I deliberately over eat,for example I would buy myself fatty Salty foods,but would always in my head say ,mangos,raspberries,blueberries were to expensive for the likes of me.

However, I do feel cured now and am no longer a binge eater (I no longer have an emotional void I am trying to fill).
Two dress sizes lower but the feeling of no longer feeling controlled by food is so much more wonderful than the weight difference

How are you doing, pointless? I was an angel yesterday - this thread has really helped me.

Also, realising that there are a few things I CAN CONTROL IN THIS LIFE and what i stick in the mouth is one of them