to want to lose weight but keep letting myself down

[Iamclearlyamug]

So I'm about 1.5 stone overweight, I'm 5'7 and weigh 12st 10 (just back from a 2 week visit to my partner where I gained 7.5lb 🙈🙈)

I'm the type where in clothes I don't look too bad, though very out of proportion - I'm a size 10 on the bottom but have 34H boobs and my tummy is awful, big and squishy and covered in terrible stretch marks - looks like a souffle gone wrong 🙈😭

A few years ago I lost 3 stone on slimming world and got down to 10 and a half stone, but regained it all over the next few years - had a stressful time where I discovered my husband was cheating on me with a girl half his age in his office, and he left me with our (now 6 year old) daughter.

Tried SW again, just can't lose weight on it - found it soul destroying having a perfect food diary every week and maintaining or gaining the same half pound every week.

So then I tried my fitness pal, lost about a stone doing that (i started at 13 and a half stone) but now I can't stick to that either. I'm fine during the day, but after my daughter goes to bed I get the munchies and the rest is history - I just can't stop myself, it's like a compulsion to eat.

I'm self employed working with horses so I'm pretty active, I feel like the weight would fall off if I could just crack the eating part! Does anyone have any tips for the evenings? I'm so unhappy with my body and just feel so yucky all the time - I'm happy with life in general, I have a lovely partner although we're very long distance. WHY CAN'T I JUST STOP EATING CRAP??

My leftover chocolate and cake stash for anyone who has the answer 😂😂

Because eating crap is more important you than losing weight. You need to work out why that is

I have the same problem. I lost weight (about 20kg) on saxenda injections last year. They were great but then stopped working. I can be really good all day but in the evenings im like a hyperactive bulimic! My clothes are getting tight and i threw away all my fat ones!!!!!

It is hard. Stop buying the cakes and chocolate stash you mentioned. Do not have it in the house.

Are you able to plan to have a small treat, a non multipack treat - in the house instead to have in the evening?

This is where I go wrong. I have tempting items in the home that come in large packages.

You’re not alone OP I’m just the same! My self control seems to come and go and once the kids are in bed, my favourite hobby is to eat and eat and eat. I joined slimming world in January and did really well at first but now I’ve nearly regained the weight Ive lost. I’m so disappointed with myself.

Me too op. I'm about a stone over weight. I take 3 steps forward then 5 back. Truth is I love food. I was thin all my adult life. Now I'm 53 and have rolls of flesh in places I never used to which I hate. Dh is in the same position. This morning we were discussing a plan to stick to a healthier diet as we were for January. Then I phoned him up a few hours later on my way back from the gym which i at least still go to a few times a week all excited having forgotten our earlier conversation with exciting news about a newly opened up wing shack restsurant that does HOME DELIVERIES!!! 😁😁😁😁😁😁😂😂😂❤❤

whatshallido you're completely right - I honestly think it's mostly boredom, every evening between 7pm and whenever I go to bed I've just got nothing to do. some evenings I go to bed when my daughter does just so I won't eat!

I'm so happy im not alone though guys. I almost wish my partner would be like corrrr blimey girl lay off the sweets you tank 😂 but of course he's perfectly lovely and says he doesn't care if I'm thin or fat. but I want to be thin dammit!

I swear if you could give every woman one wish, absolutely masses of us would say to eat without getting fat!

Besides not buying the crap, work out why you ate the crap in the first place. Is it just a habit, or do you see it as a treat? Are you bored or lonely, in need of comfort? Were you just lazy and couldn't be arsed cooking (no shame in that BTW!)?

spite I think it's a combination of all these things - I'm so good during the day, breakfast is wholemeal toast, lunch is fruit and yogurt and dinner is usually something like chicken paella so lots of vegetables, and I weigh the rice to make sure I don't eat too much.

It's after DD goes to bed it's like a switch goes in my head and I'm like right what can I eat - and then I go off and eat my kitchen and half the sofa 🙈🙈😂

I had this, lost weight on weight watchers and kept it off for years. Gradually half a stone crept on and I lost it and more. Well that last loss has crept back, although I’m nowhere near my starting weight, I feel awful. None of my clothes fit and I look visibly tubby. I have been following my points and not getting anywhere. I think I’ve got a bit too good at playing the points systems (oh well this biscuit is only about the same calories as an apple which is free anyway). I am also struggling with IBS which makes yoghurt and fruit snacks almost impossible when I’m working.

Really though I just need to garner to motivation to do it and do it properly, no short cuts,no cheat meals. Try and rediscover some of those old habits that intially kept the weight off. Some of my snack habits are not how I ate then. I need to plan and prep in advance. It’s all easier said than done but turning it inti the rule rather than the exception is key.

That doesn't sound like you're eating much to be honest OP, no wonder you feel like eating in the evening.

I'd have a more substantial lunch and then have the fruit and yogurt as a 'sweet treat' in the evening.

As others have said, try not to have much in the way of junk food in the house. If it's not there then you can't be tempted to eat it.

YANBU to want to lose weight, YABU for letting yourself down

I’m exactly the same, a saint all day but once kids in bed I’m unleashed.

Can you try an alternative in the evening? I find that if I have a herbal tea, I don't fancy anything sweet. I have a clipper 'snore and peace' about 8pm, then I'm all tired and the hunger passes.

Or brush your teeth after after dd has gone to and use a disgusting mouthwash like the devils own Corsodyl [sic].

Don't buy crap.

Once you have broke the habit, it will be okay.

I agree it dosent seem like much food in the day. I'd have the fruit and yogurt for breakfast then a salad with some protien or a big veg omelette for lunch.

My top to is take up knitting. Keeps your hands busy and you can't snack as easily then.

I am the same and have no will power. I end up eating badly as it just tastes nicer than healthy food! Basically to lose weight for me it means cutting out all the food I like. Sorry not much help, but lots of empathy.

Top tip

I’d have a more substantial lunch and schedule in an evening snack, something low calorie. Even a tea or a drink. Something to occupy you and stop the binge. If you get up to get something try and wait fifteen minutes or half an hour. Often the urge the eat that item passes if you can just sit back down. I also need to follow my own advice!

I am 5ft 6 (and a half) and fluctuate between 12st 10 and 13 stone 1 so just a bit bigger/shorter than you... I am in a size 14 bottom
All body types are different - a certain weight can look big on one person and tiny on another... I also carry all my weight around my middle so I feel your pain!! And I am the same as you my trigger times I just want to binge! As of today I’ve stopped buying crap food apart from things for DS that I don’t like such as quavers, kids fruit bars etc. Am also low carbing and definitely not eating any carbs of an evening - if I eat any at all it will be the morning. That’s my plan anyway, I’m only at the end of day one! Good luck

Op is it possible you are eating so little during the day that you pig out at night through hunger or because you feel deprived? Fruit and yogurt isn’t a lunch. Especially if your job is really active. If you bulk out your day time eating with some kind of protein and veg (vegetable soup and a tuna salad maybe) that might help. Good luck. And remember-look on the positives -, some of us would love to be 5’7’’ with a big chest!

danny I'm definitely going to try cleaning my teeth when DD goes to bed - curious to see if that would work.

It's difficult to sit down and have a proper lunch as I'm often out with the horses all day and fruit (especially apples) are easy to chuck in my handbag and munch as I go - plus the core is useful for bribing truculent ponies 😂😂

I can't rely on willpower alone so I just don't have snacky things in the house. No chocolate, no crisps, no nice nuts, no nothing, apart from boring Rich Teas for the children's pre-bed milk-and-biscuits.

I agree with MagneticMan - I'm always hungrier in the evening if I haven't eaten enough during the day. Fruit and yoghurt wouldn't cut it at all for me and my job is pretty sedentary.

If you "can't" have a bigger lunch, have a bigger breakfast. If I have say, omelette with ham & veggies etc then I'm not hungry until at least 1/2pm.

Could you take soup / chilli / pasta etc in a flask for lunch? It would stay warm and you could grab bits as you go. Packet of crackers / oatcakes / roll wrapped in foil etc and you're golden. You could still have your apples as well then.

OP we are lucky as dh doesn't care what weight i am infact he actually likes me to have some flesh in direct contrast to some men who are quite fussy about how their partner looks & i've had one of those before, would even be vocal about what i wore . I too am definately at my worse in the evening to be precise once i have eaten as i happily eat without carbs ie salmon & a plate of veg BUT ......i am still hungry so end up washing it down with lashings of biscuits

Hi op, I read this thread a while back and found it made a lot of sense:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3167040-To-think-I-ve-found-the-secret-to-losing-weight-and-keeping-it-off

It had mixed responses, people thinking the op was bragging about their success etc, the usual aibu responses.. but I really appreciated it! I think addressing the relationship one has with food, rather than an exercise/diet plan, is really the key to losing weight and maintaining it.

I gained a dress size going to a big 12 (which is very noticable as i'm a shortarse 5"3) on Gabbapentin.
Stopped taking it as i literally could not stop eating and couldn't keep spending £££ feeding my fat face. It's a good few months and i can't shift enough to get back in my 10s so had to buy new stuff (shucks ). My eating is so disordered and fucked up though i need help but daren't ask/don't know whom to ask.
Nothing useful to add but i do have huge job envy OP.

I have the same issue, op. I think our measurements are similar. Omw thing that really helped me not to snack is cross stitching. Well it did a few years ago when i lost lots of weight. I didnt want to get my project dirty so didnt snack. Im lazy and couldnt be bothered to get up and wash my hands. Im thinking of starting a new one just so i dont snack.