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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu - neighbour tv

49 replies

Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 03:03

Need some advice -

Live in a semi. Thought woman next door was lovely, been here for five years. For past two weeks neighbours tv has been very loud, often on until 2am. It echoes throughout the house late at night.

Husband last week politely asked if she would mind turning it down. Mentioned we’ve been neighbours for long enough, get on well and would she mind. All went well and we thought great. That evening it was the loudest it has ever been.

Tonight at 00:15 I had enough. Went to door. Asked very nicely for her to turn tv down and she blew her top. Apparently this is all in my head. In the end I had no choice but to call police :(

Police requested she turn it down. They left and tv went on louder. At 01:00 I called police back, no sign of them at 02:00 and then the tv went off so cancelled call out.

I am really upset. I feel my home has been ruined. Never would I ever imagined having to call police. Whilst we have children, our house is very quiet after 20:30 with husband wearing earphones to watch tv to avoid the kids waking up.

Any advice on how to handle this would be welcomed. Even the police are being ignored. We are both home owners. She is very unapproachable. She did mention she has recently moved the TV.

We are looking to move at the end of the year, it’s only March now and not in a financial position at moment.

OP posts:
Faroutbrussel · 07/03/2018 03:08

In the first instance go and buy some ear plugs or possible noise cancelling headphones. this will at least ensure you can get a good nights sleep. Can't help with any other advice but hopefully when the dust settles she will see how unreasonable she is being, move the TV back to where it was and turn it down.

mixture · 07/03/2018 03:09

What happens if you two go over and talk to her, or invite her to tea and talk to her at your house? With you calling the police and everything it's turned into a contest to see which one of you two is the strongest, and since you can't call for reinforcements every night, she wins. She has to actually want to turn it down, for you, otherwise it probably doesn't happen.

DalekDalekDalek · 07/03/2018 03:09

Sounds like she is bat shit crazy. I think you need to contact the council about this one. I think they can give you equipment to monitor the noise level but I'm not sure.

Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 03:12

Thanks - I have considered but worried I won’t hear the baby monitor. I might trial it.

I can’t see her recognising her unreasonableness - heard her telling police I threatened her, such nonsense. I am actually proud of myself for keeping it together whilst she ranted

OP posts:
Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 03:14

I intended to call police every time until she got message... she’s not going to budge, it is such a weird situation. If the show had been on the other foot, I would have been so apologetic

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Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 03:16

It’s such a shame, we got on so well. I am beginning to wonder if her mental health is in decline. She is not elderly, mid 50s I think

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RumerGodden · 07/03/2018 03:21

What time do you get up? If you try again to be reasonable and she won't budge, I am betting with kids you are up pretty early. Try belting out kids programs at 5.30am for a few weeks and see what happens. Nothing better than a good object lesson!

Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 03:23

Ha ha, I did think of tit for tat but kinda didn’t want to get into that. I suppose my only concern with that being I could be accused of being antisocial.

Yep up at 05:30, I’ve had two hours sleep and a full day at office ahead with the kids in the evening to sort out 😵

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RumerGodden · 07/03/2018 03:43

It's not ideal, but if you can't resolve, you either lump it and suffer, or escalate!

Other possiblilty is to keep a noise diary, download a decibel recorder app to your phone and measure the sound in your house, keep a log of levels and recordings as well as police call outs.

And the old chestnut - is she a renter? is there a property agent or landlord you can talk to?

dollydee · 07/03/2018 03:46

You were lucky the police got involved. Where I live, the police just advise the complainant to contact the local council Noise Abatement Team, who are available Monday - Friday. That team then advise that a diary record of noise nuisance issues is completed and submitted before they will send a letter out to whoever is causing the nuisance.

OtterInDisgrace · 07/03/2018 03:47

Um, you’re up at 5.30 with kids. Is it possible your early starts are causing her noise problems?

OtterInDisgrace · 07/03/2018 03:49

She might be retaliating. I take issue with you immediately labelling her ‘mental’ because she’s doing something you don’t like.

Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 03:52

I will download that app!

Council noise team here are weekend only hence the police. I did try council first who suggested police.

Re: 05:30 starts - maybe but she sleeps in her side extension with no adjoining wall to my house. Tonight, I did ask if we were causing her noise and if so let’s talk. I didn’t get a straight answer, just a jumble of crap about her tv noise being in my head. Must also be in husband head and policemen heads!

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Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 03:54

Re: mental. Been here five years, never had issue. She was lovely, very chilled out and bought presents when kids were born. Behaviour has changed, erratic and ignoring authority ie police.

Something has changed within herself

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Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 03:55

And I didn’t label her mental, I queried if mental health was possibly in decline but I do agree with Dalek, behaviour is somewhat bat shit

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OtterInDisgrace · 07/03/2018 03:58

Yes, therefore she must be mental. Maybe she’s fuckng pissed off and tired at your 5am starts with noisy kids?

Look. Just playing devil’s advocate but I’d find it hard to deal with a 5.30am wake up call from my neighbour and their kids if I wasn’t expecting it.

You need to talk to her and ask her not only why she’s got a suddenly louder tv, but if she can hear any unwanted noise from you.

Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 03:59

Right so plan of action - ear plugs and download app. I could also consider sleeping in conservatory.

Anyone any thoughts on me continuing to call police so message sinks in?

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Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 04:02

Otter - tried twice. If I knew we were causing a disturbance I would put a stop to it straight away. She’s not being forthcoming with that info.

Tv is louder cause she moved it to adjoining wall, managed to find that out tonight at least

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OtterInDisgrace · 07/03/2018 04:02

For the record all of my neighbours are selfish noisy cunts and I have huge problems with peace and sleeping. I have no idea why I’m playing devil’s advocate as in general I fucking hate people and neighbours are the worst.

So yeah. Good luck.

Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 04:04

Lol thanks otter! I think a detached house will be our move at end of year!

OP posts:
DalekDalekDalek · 07/03/2018 04:05

I had a bonkers neighbour who, when I called the police because she threatened to kill me (whole other story) told them that I was sent by the letting agents to listen in on her conversations. In my experience, don't let it lie, you need to deal with it or it will escalate. She was eventually evicted but not until she injured my cat and made me terrified to go home. Contact the council ASAP and get advice. You are entitled to peace in your own home. Good luck. Flowers

LolitaLempicka · 07/03/2018 05:59

I am surprised your local police attended. Surely noise is not a police matter? Especially TV noise, it’s hardly drum and bass. I also think it may be retaliatory, I don’t know anyone whose children get up that early, it is the middle of the night and must be horrendous for your neighbour. I would not continue to call the police, no. Perhaps contact your local council?

RadioGaGoo · 07/03/2018 06:05

If the neighbour was disturbed by the 05.30 wake up of the OP and her children, I imagine it would have been mentioned during her rant.

Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 06:09

It’s me who is up 0530 for work, kids shortly after. She sleeps in the extension to our house, I think we would have to be some noise (I think).

Maybe retaliation re:tv. She said to husband that it’s dramas she is watching. It cranks up about 20:30 and that’s it throughout the night until about 2

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Original poster
Baubles22 · 07/03/2018 06:09

*extension to her house!

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