Sitting next to a smoker at work

[dontforgetto]

I am six months pregnant, work in central London in an open plan office environment and live in suburbs.

This week a new colleague has joined the team and sits on the same ‘bank’ of desks, directly next to me, which means he’s sat less than two feet from me. Nice guy, but it has quickly become apparent that he is a smoker.

As a new starter he is likely very conscious of not wanting to take cigarette breaks outside of lunch or before and after work. However, I’m sure once he feels more settled, the frequency will increase.

No one else in our team/immediate office area smokes, but there are smokers elsewhere in the large open plan office.

Now to my AIBU. AIBU to be considering asking to move desks?

I hate the smell of third hand cigarette smoke. It is unpleasant at the best of times, but my sense of smell is also heightened being pregnant. Then there is the research about third hand smoke exposure by pregnant women increasing incidence of asthma in unborn babies (I imagine London’s poor air quality is just as much, if not more of a risk factor though).

I don’t want to be precious about this, but I also don’t want to spend my entire work day in an uncomfortable and higher risk environment for my baby. I also don’t think it would be fair for someone else in the team to be moved into my seat so perhaps I should ask to move to another area of the office entirely?

My next maternity workplace risk assessment is next week so would be a good opportunity to discuss with HR, who I am sure would handle my request sensitively without causing embarrassment to the new colleague.

So I guess this is an AIBU and also a WWYD? Has anyone had a similar experience?

YANBU. I can stand the smell of cigarette smoke on a person - I'd ask to move too if the smell was bothering me. YWBU to make a big song and dance about it but if one morning you were just sitting at a different desk and remained civil and friendly to him when you interacted for work purposes then I don't see a problem.
I wouldn't make it about the pregnancy though - that does seem precious even of you have a point.

Just say the smell of smoke sets off your sickness and could you please be moved. I know I hated second hand smoke smell when pregnant

I feel for you, I retch when I walk past someone stinking of stale smoke.

Thankfully I don't work with any.

I would bring it up in your maternity risk assessment. Just for the fact it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Thanks. I definitely do not want to make a song and dance of it.

Appreciate the advice not to make it about my pregnancy, but wonder if it lends more credibility to my request? There must be lots of people who don't want to smell third hand smoke. I wonder how HR would handle a request from someone who wasn't pregnant.

I would mention it - the smell of stale smoke is revolting even when you aren't pregnant.

Have you smelled smoke on him yet? By all means ask to move, but if he doesn't smell of smoke I'd say that's the wrong side of the 'AIBU' line for me.

YANBU. In my first pregnancy the only thing that really triggered nausea in me was the smell of smoke. I used to have to see a delivery driver every day at work who literally put his cigarette out as he was stood outside our door and it used to make me feel absolutely horrendous. You could smell him for half hour after he left too. Urgh.

I wouldn't make a huge fuss but I would quietly ask to be moved. It stinks, and whether people think it's precious or not third hand smoke is harmful.

When I was pregnant I sat on a bank of 4 desks and 3 of then were smokers including the business owner

Just to be clear.

You are perfectly entitled to ask to be moved because the smell is making you nauseous.
However I don’t think it is reasonable to claim there is any risk. He is not smoking beside you so you are not exposed to any smoke.

@Pengggwn yes, he returned from lunch with a very noticeable smell of smoke on him. At the end of the day he went out again, then came back in for five minutes and again, very smokey.

Obviously he is within his right, but he can't complain if someone doesn't want to smell smoke, it isn't nice.

I think you're being a little precious. By all means ask to move but I definitely wouldn't make it about the pregnancy. When I was pregnant, the smell of coffee set me off but I could hardly asked to be moved away from anyone who drinks it!

I’m a smoker who was a non smoker for six years. I’d been a non smoker for four years when I was pregnant. It is honestly the only time in my entire life that I couldn’t stand the smell of smoke. Prior to pregnancy and after pregnancy I would sniff smokers as I walked past as I wanted one so badly. During pregnancy though - so based on that I can imagine that for someone who’d never smoked it would be worse so YANBU.

Thanks all. I did think it might be a bit precious to make it about the pregnancy so accept the comments about that.

I'll ask about moving and hope they can sort something out.

Isn't smelling it on someone else, second hand, rather than third hand?

TabbyMumz

No. It's the actual smoke that's second hand (when you're breathing the smoke without smoking yourself). Smelling residue of smoke isn't 'second hand smoking' as such.

My sense of smell was so heightened when pregnant and smokers used to set me off. On my walk to work, someone could be within about 50m smoking and I could smell it and would want to heave. I couldn’t have sat near someone all day at work. My sense of smell never returned to normal and I’m still very sensitive to it. I actually don’t know what I’d do if I was sat next to smokers. Im not sure that my reaction would be that normal though.

@TabbyMumz second hand occurs if you're in vicinity of a person who is smoking (inhaling the actual smoke). Third hand is the particles that linger on clothes, in hair, on surfaces and soft furnishings after the cigarette has been extinguished.

Recent studies suggest third hand smoke is far more dangerous than previously considered.

YWNBU to ask to move, especially with heightened sense of smell- the work day is a long day to be sat next to the smell of stale smoke, in the same way it would be to someone who reeks of BO or the likes. However I don't think you should mention pregnancy when asking to move- the link between third hand smoke and Athsma really isn't credible enough and I think you'll be less likely to be taken seriously and dismissed as a bit precious. I sympathise though, not the same thing but I can't bear to be near people who are eating smelly food (e.g. McDonald's on trains, tuna sandwiches at work) it makes me want to throw up and I can't concentrate

Then there is the research about third hand smoke exposure by pregnant women increasing incidence of* asthma in unborn babies -* citation desperately needed. Research into "third hand smoke" is complete junk but does help stigmatising smokers, as is its intention.

"Thirdhand smoke is aged secondhand smoke, and it attaches to the surfaces in homes and other surroundings. It is composed of smaller, ultrafine particles with a greater molecular weight that pose a greater asthma hazard than firsthand or secondhand smoke."

"The researchers found prenatal exposure to thirdhand tobacco smoke components plays a much greater role in altered lung function in offspring than postnatal or childhood exposures."

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110419101231.htm

YANBU asking to move, however it would be best if the person in question doesn't find out the reason. It would make him extremely uncomfortable as he has only just started.

When I was in my old job and pregnant with DD1 I had a real aversion to Indian food and sat opposite an Indian girl who would often bring in (when not pregnant and horribly nauseous) the most delicious Indian delicacies that she had cooked. Unfortunately the smell sticks and I couldn't sit anywhere near her. I obviously couldn't say anything, so just asked to sit closer to the toilet, so I was moved further away. Two birds, one stone.

@ReginaldMolehusband Source:
Los Angeles Biomedical Research Institute at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center (LA BioMed)

I've not looked into it in any detail, but this was the research I was referring to.

I'd ask to move. In my office all the smokers use the lifts when going and returning from their breaks. I need to use the lift and the stale smell in there is grim. And I was a smoker and am now a vaper, but damn, the stale smell is disgusting.

dontforgetto As I said it's junk. The study examined unborn baby rats dissected and soaked in chemicals. Some of the rats cells then showed some damage that may, might, could be vaguely related to asthma in humans. Somehow.