What kind of person jumps off a cliff with two children? **MNHQ warning: upsetting content**

[Leafyhouse]

I've been really shaken by that story about the woman stabbed at home, and the father found at the bottom of the cliff with 2 dead children, 10 and 7.

Their home is about 400 yards away from me. I also have 2 DS's, aged 8 and 10. It's just made me sick to the core. Police and forensic officers all over this lovely house, in a really nice area - and for what? Why would someone do that? Have your own problems, but why take the children?

Just reeling at the moment, am going to hug my kids extra tight tonight. This one's just so very close to home.

MichaelBendfaster

many thanks,yes once meds were soughted things improved so much,not really had an episode since,i can recognise the symptons and cut it dead

oh he is great such an easy going child and full of happiness,thank you

"Bluelady" please tell me you were taking the piss?! Seriously?

The bigger picture is of family annihilators and male violence.

And no, the circumstances of men and women 'doing' it- are vastly different-as are the numbers involved.

But you all know that.

For some strange reason you are invested in pretending women frequently stab their husbands or grab their frightened 10yr olds to cliff edges.

what kind of person does this?
a man
soon we will hear that he was a pillar of the community, would do anything for you, volunteered at kids football club
then we will hear from this poor woman's sister/best friend that she suspected there was abuse in the family, or maybe she confided that
the we will hear either that the woman was planning to leave, OR that the man was in some kind of trouble that was about to become public.

Oh God, those poor children. It sickens me when this sort of tragedy happens, a man wiping out his entire family.

I bet the media will go in a mad frenzy to link his crimes to the woman's(victim!!) behaviour....again!

Having sympathy for him and bleating on about mental illness is ridiculous. It won't be long before it comes out that she'd asked for a divorce etc and this was his reaction to the loss of control over his abuse victims.

It’s almost certain he wasn’t right in the head - that’s not an excuse or a call for sympathy.

Normal, functioning people don’t act like this.

Saying someone was mentally ill is not the same as excusing what they have done. Murder is murder, and were he alive he should be facing the fullest extent of the law.

Control. Many family annihilaters start to feel a loss of control over their wife & children (who they view as their property), often when the wife wants to separate and their final act of control is to take their lives. He's not necessarily mentally ill, although I think it's somehow easier for people to accept if we convince ourselves he was 'unwell.'

My ex has mental health issues (as do I). That doesn’t take away from the fact he is also considered a medium to high risk by social services to harm our children. That harm is anything from emotional abuse to actually killing them, probably along with me and possibly himself.

This story has abusive man kills partner and children along with himself. It’s the ultimate control you can have. If I’m wrong then obviously I have every sympathy with him. But I don’t think I or others on this thread are.

Mentally ill or not he stabbed his wife and threw his child off a cliff.

Let me repeat that. He dragged his 7 and 10 year old children towards a cliff edge and either jumped with them or pushed them over first.

More than likely they also knew their mum was dead.

He gets no sympathy from me at all, ever.

Normal, functioning people don’t act like this.

Except they do. Every single day.

And yet another missed opportunity to have a meaningful dialogue about control and abuse. Because everyone starts on the good man/moment of madness bullshit

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/22/man-mother-sister-killed-father-lance-hart-spalding-leicestershire

These men are horrible while they are alive, and then horrible in death.

Odds are he's an evil murdering bastards rather than the victim of psychosis. I know psychosis is real and can lead to horrific, out of character actions but most family annihilators have a long history of domestic abuse, so that is the more likely cause. And apologists for these evil men help create an environment that makes them more likely to murder.

What a weird thread aside from a minority.

Let's see, mentally ill and desperate?

Do you

a) Kill your wife and children in their sleep before yourself, because you love them and can see no other way out

Or

B) separate them by violently killing their mother, probably with their knowledge and then driving them to him to their deaths?

Or, maybe, you belong to that possessive little club of violent thugs

Normal, functioning people don’t act like this.

the do though. They beat their wives and children on a daily basis. Some days it goes too far.

Absolutely horrific! Those poor children must have been so scared.

How can anyone on here be so arrogant to think they know what the reasons were?! Typical MN bullshit. We have no idea if he was an evil abuser or totally psychotic. It’s disgusting to speculate online whilst pretending you give a shit about this woman and her children.

Bluelady
'You mean why take your wife and children?'

Yes, absolutely. I agree. Should have typed that. What I meant was that she was found dead - for whatever reason. Might have been murder, might have been suicide (very doubtful under the circumstances I have to say!).

But HE was found dead with 2 children. No fucking excuse. They're under his care. Bastard bastard bastard... words fail me...

Also, I know it's a bit outing, saying I'm 400 yards away, but I've posted on local forums previously, and the housing's pretty dense round here. You'd still have a lot of doors to knock on!

I'm in the controlling and ? violent camp too.

Alan Hawe was perfectly in control of his actions. He attacked his wife and oldest son first so that they weren't able to intervene when he attacked his smaller children. He left a note on the door giving instructions to anybody who came to the house.

This man has travelled a considerable distance to where he was found. This is a person in control of what they're doing.

'Normal, functioning people don’t act like this'

People do terrible things every day. Unspeakable, violent things to women and children. Saying they must be 'unwell' is an easy way to avoid facing that reality.

Pump - if someone is ‘beating their wife and children on a daily basis’ (or indeed on any basis) then I would argue they do not come under the category of ‘normal, functioning people’ and should have professional intervention.

SunnySkies how can you be so arrogant to dismiss the very real pattern of male violence which sees this sort of horrific murder happening again and again? Why are you so keen to dismiss this?