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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you go to this party? (Pregnancy related)

30 replies

cinderellawantstogototheball · 06/03/2018 09:36

One of my most long standing and dearest friends is turning 40 and having a big party. Lots of my other old friends will be there too.

However... I will be about 38.5 weeks pregnant on the night of the party. It's about 2.5 hours away from home and would mean staying over. DP is happy for me to go, but he'll have to stay at home with the toddler, so I'd be on my own if anything did happen.

Elective C is booked for 8 days after the party. Been told that baby is measuring a little bit big, but otherwise all looks good.

I am heavy and a bit tired, but lucky in that I have no SPD or other complaints that would make driving and going to a party/staying by myself in a hotel room difficult (apart from the lack of booze, obviously Sad).

Sooo, would you go in these circumstances, or would you stay on the sofa at home, a sensible distance away from your own hospital?

OP posts:
Celticlassie · 06/03/2018 09:40

I suppose it depends - if your first baby was early I'd maybe not risk it, but if you're reasonably sure you'll go to term you might as well.

blastomama · 06/03/2018 09:41

I'd go. I did go, in similar situations.

Original poster
cinderellawantstogototheball · 06/03/2018 09:41

Thank you.

First was early but was induced at 37 weeks due to a combination of geststional diabetes and reduced movement - fingers crossed don't have the same issues this time!

OP posts:
nightshade · 06/03/2018 09:43

No I wouldn't. ..just because at 38.5 weeks partying was the last thing on my mind...

NerrSnerr · 06/03/2018 09:48

I wouldn’t go personally. Both mine were planned c sections, first came at 38w 5d and second at 38w and 3 days. It’s a long way to drive a newborn home in a car seat if you did have your baby when away.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 06/03/2018 09:49

Probably not OP. I think you've got a good excuse to decline. Just send a lovely present and card. I'm sure your friend will understand. Or you could wait till nearer the time to see how you feel?

NonnieMouse · 06/03/2018 09:50

I'd already given birth by then with ds1 but that aside, I wouldn't travel for an overnight at that stage tbh. A local party with a 20 minute taxi ride is one thing but 2.5hrs away? No chance.

Narnia72 · 06/03/2018 09:50

I wouldn't, just because by that stage I was as big as a house and everything hurt. The last thing I'd have wanted to do is drive on my own for 2.5 hours and then make chitchat.

However, if you're feeling ok and CRUCIALLY, you have someone to drive you, or at least travel with, then go if you want to. But please don't drive on your own, just in case you do go into labour. Also, are you comfortable enough to drive for that long? I know I wasn't.

Everyone is different, but even as I'm typing I'm remembering how I felt at the end of my pregnancies, and no, just no. Wouldn't even have crossed my mind to try!

The other thing is, if you did go into labour up there, would your husband (a) have someone to leave your toddler with and (b) have a second car to get to you. And would he make it in time, how quick was your first birth?

If you have to have a section, would they have to give you an emergency one, and would that mean you'd have to stay in that hospital for a few days? And how would you feel about doing the return journey of 2.5 hours post birth and with a newborn?

Ishouldntbesolucky · 06/03/2018 09:51

Yes, I'd go. Your dp could get to you in 2.5 hrs if needed - so doable.

Go and have a good time.

ReanimatedSGB · 06/03/2018 09:51

I would have done. I did go to an all-day event on my (supposed) due date and DS didn't show up for another week. The midwife had said: if you feel up to it, go along.

So, basically, see how you feel on the day. Your baby might decide to put in an early appearance anyway - let your mate know that you will come if you can and that's that.

If you do feel like going, this was what my midwife advised me: Take your maternity notes. Put them in a smaller back than your planned hospital bag, and stick in a change of clothes for yourself, a couple of nappies and an outfit for the baby - just in case. Enough stuff to keep you comfy till someone can bring you the rest of your intended maternity luggage...

ReanimatedSGB · 06/03/2018 09:53

Also: can you get there (or most of the way there) on public transport? Less stressful than driving and there will be other people around if you do go into labour.

15star · 06/03/2018 09:54

My baby arrived a week before my c section was booked at 38 weeks. I wouldn't risk it, but if you do take your notes and hospital bags just in case

Trinity66 · 06/03/2018 09:55

I probably wouldn't but just because I didn't feel like doing much at that stage, totally your choice though, i wouldn't not go if I really wanted to for fear of going into labour.

TwitterQueen1 · 06/03/2018 09:58

I would go, purely for the opportunity to have a night on my own in a hotel room with nobody making demands on me! Luxury! And seeing old friends again would be lovely too.

It really depends on how you feel on the day I think. On my due date I travelled up to London and did a full day's work. But that's not for everyone, obviously. Do you want to go?

MaderiaCycle · 06/03/2018 10:01

See how you feel on the day?

GU24Mum · 06/03/2018 10:03

Assuming you feel up to it at the time (and unless it's this weekend, ou won't know yet!), do any of your friends who are going live near enough to give you a lift? That way you won't have to drive and will know you're OK on the journey. Once you get to the party, if anything does happen, tbh you'll have lots of people on hand to help out.

I'm sensing you want to go to the party hence my comments. If you're looking for a way out clearly being 38.5 weeks' pregnant is a good one!

amusedbush · 06/03/2018 10:10

A good friend of mine was 38 weeks pregnant on my 21st birthday and she got out of bed to come to the party (it was at my mum's house), gave me a gift and a hug and then asked if she could go back home to bed Grin

Play it by ear and see how you feel.

CoffeAndCream · 06/03/2018 10:12

At 38 weeks I couldn't have done a 2.5 hour drive! I definitely wouldn't travel alone.

Crunchymum · 06/03/2018 10:18

How pregnant are you now OP?

Louiselouie0890 · 06/03/2018 10:19

I wouldn't no

AnaWinter · 06/03/2018 10:21

I wouldn’t. I went over on my first and under on my second. I was so tired the week before with my second I couldn’t have managed a party. My second labour was so much quicker too.

ethelfleda · 06/03/2018 10:21

I wouldn't. Was supposed to go to a work thing a few hours drive away when I was 36 weeks and didn't feel comfortable going... in both senses of the word as I had crippling rib pain and the thought of sitting in a car that long was unbearable. How far away is the party (in terms of time?)

greendale17 · 06/03/2018 10:23

At 38 weeks I couldn't have done a 2.5 hour drive! I definitely wouldn't travel alone.

^I agrre

blastomama · 06/03/2018 10:24

does it matter whether other people would or wouldn't? Surely the only thing that matters is whether you want to or feel up to it.

Original poster
cinderellawantstogototheball · 06/03/2018 10:26

I'm 36 weeks now and feel fine apart from being tired (but that's in no small part because the toddler has spent the last four nights waking up on the hour and shouting to be tucked back in - the idea of a full night's sleep is almost as tempting as the party!).

Argh it's difficult. I really really want to go, and DP could leave DC with my dad or a friend and drive down if he had to come to hospital - but my biggest fear is that I'd need a c section and the hospital wouldn't have room for me.

OP posts:
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