I feel I need some other perspectives on this as I’m becoming irrationally annoyed.
PIL are very well off and go on multiple fancy holidays a year. Approx 4 weeks before they were due to go on current one, both of fil’s parents were rushed into hospital. Fil’s sister immediately cancelled her exotic holiday (had been due to fly a few days after) to be with her parents. Unfortunately fil’s Dad passed away and his mum remains extremely ill and has only just come out of hospital but the decision has been made that she will have to go into a home ASAP. I’m pregnant and 1 day after the funeral we found out that our baby was seriously ill in the womb. They didn’t elaborate, other than saying the scan suggested a serious chromosomal abnormality, but referred us to a fetal med appointment for a few days later. Obviously we were shocked and frightened and worried, etc. 2 days after that (so 3 after funeral), pil flew off on holiday.
We have now had our fetal med appointment and learnt that our baby has died. Because I am in my second trimester, I will be going into hospital today to have a pessary and give birth to our baby. Words don’t really describe how we are feeling right now.
Dh text his parents to let them know, and we received a reply, but no phone call (will cost a lot to call from where they are, but they can afford it!)
I feel so angry with them. EVen before our pregnancy problems started, dh and I thought it was a bit much that they were still going, considering fil Dad had just been buried and his mum was still seriously ill and had literally only been out of hospital a matter of a day or too (she is extremely poorly and we were concerned that she might pass away while they are on holiday). Now we have lost our baby and I feel dh needs the support of his parents and they’re just not here. They won’t get home for another fortnight.
I think the fact that they have SO many holidays is the thing, it wasn’t long since there last one and won’t be long until their next one. They were needed here by fil’s Mum and now they’re needed by us. I just feel angry at how selfish they’ve been by going. They knew before they flew that baby had serious problems and had already toyed with the idea of cancelling but dismissed it. In mil’s reply she said she felt so helpless? Well yeah, you chose to travel 1000s of miles away when you knew this could happen! And don’t make it about how you feel!!!!!!!!!
Aibu? Is my anger misdirected? Or do I have a right to feel that dh has been let down?