Unwanted, self invited, house guest. How to refuse?

[LaceandChintz]

The AIBU is is it mean of me to say no to this.?
My cousin has been invited to a party nearish my home town (about 200 miles from his home). He has asked if he and his wife can stay with us. Normally I’d say yes and enjoy a rare catch-up. However this weekend coincides with a very rare, and I mean first time in several years, that dh and I will have the weekend to ourselves. No kids (woohoo!), no work (yay!). He asked a while ago and I said really sorry, explained that we had plans as kids all away etc, really sorry.
He’s now asked again, thinking by plans we mean we are away and asking if they can stay in our house and bring own breakfast etc.. as hotels are expensive, completely missing the point. We aren’t going anywhere. We might stay in, but might go to a grown-up restaurant or a late film. We don’t want to be waiting for house guests to come in (the party is some distance from here, about an hour by public transport so they could be really late).We don’t want to have to get up to host breakfast. We might not want to get up at all.
We have a busy family and working life and I love it. But I am so looking forward to this weekend.
Am I being unreasonable not letting them stay? And if not, how do I spell it out to them?
Thanks for your help.

[Ellendegeneres]

If it were my cousin I’d reply something like
Haha you do know what couples get up to when they have child free time right? 😉 Hope you have a great time at party, but really, we won’t be able to have you stay. Must plan something soon though, been a while

The cousin has made this awkward. Not you. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked into this feeling guilty nonsense when you’re entitled to the house to yourselves without hosting others who like someone above said probably will then want a lift and all sorts. Nope!

[FlatToTheMat]

Also tempted to Google sloshing haha... after saying no already it's a bit brass necked to have been asked a second time.. I'd say honesty is the best policy and perhaps offer another weekend for a catch up,if they're offended that's not really your problem. If the shoe were on the other foot I bet they'd have zero problem telling you No and No again. YANBU at all.

[Willow2017]

Premier Inn sounds great, just what they need.

Just keep repeating ad nauseum "No not that weekend, it doesnt suit us."

[LaceandChintz]

LemonSqueezy yes that’s what I fear.

And shall I google sploshing?! Or maybe someone else can!

As you say, asking once is fine. Repeating the request when I’ve said no is just unfair.
Off to say no

[Sprogletsmuvva]

The party is an hour away from your house?! - so it’s not even as if it’s genuinely the most practical option.

[JaneEyre70]

How rude of them to ask a second time. Just a polite "sorry but you've misunderstood, we have a child free weekend for the first time in X years. we really are so looking forward to it and have made plans so we really can't have visitors. Can recommend local premier inn, if you want their number and hope you enjoy the party".

[MrsExpo]

I totally agree. Repeat your “no” response and keep repeating until they book in at the Travelodge. Have a great weekend .....




Eta .... just had to google “sploshing” ......

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

£50 a night in a Travelodge would be less than the taxi fare for an hour long trip back to your house from the party (well, it would be here anyway).

[Anniegetyourgun]

The rules of assertiveness state that you should not offer reasons, because reasons can be argued against. Just stick to the broken record repetition, same thing in slightly different words each time; "That will not work for us." "I'm afraid that will not be possible." "We are not able to accommodate visitors that weekend." "We can't put you up on this occasion, sorry." And so on until they get tired of asking.

On to the next problem. What do you plan to do if/when they turn up on your doorstep with a couple of suitcases and a sheepish grin?

[MadMags]

I think he’s really rude to ask again!

I wouldn’t even bother with a big explanation, it just leaves you open to discussion.

I’d send back “sorry, as I said it just won’t work this time around. Enjoy X Event!” And ignore any further conversation around it!

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

I reckon they would ask you to pick them up from the party if you let them stay.

[Fosterdog123]

I think I remember sploshing from Diary of a Call Girl!

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

On to the next problem. What do you plan to do if/when they turn up on your doorstep with a couple of suitcases and a sheepish grin?

You lose your shit with them and tell them you bloody well said no and slam the door on them! If they’re not bothered about offending you, you don’t have to worry about hurting their precious important feelings!

[sirlee66]

Oh god, I googled it!!!
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sploshing

Sploshing:

Noun: a sexual/sensual food exchange, in which at least one person covers another person in foods of different tastes, textures, and temperatures. Eating the food off said person is optional. It is common practice for the "sploshee" to be nude so as to heighten the feeling of the food on their bare skin. The "splosher" can be nude or clothed based on preference. Other common usages are the present verb splosh.

"He knelt in the shower while his partner covered him with layer after layer of sticky syrups, slickoils, and chilled liquids. Never knowing what sensation or intoxicating aroma she would be sploshing him with next, each touch of her handor dribble of liquid sent waves of awareness shooting through his body."

[SmileyBird]

Nobody would dare turn up on my doorstep if I’d previously said no.

[SmileyBird]

Sploshing isn’t nearly so bad as I’d imagined

[FrogFairy]

Sploshing. Is anyone else thinking of the fridge scene in 9 1/2 weeks?

Off for a cool shower...

[SmileyBird]

I thought it was going to be like when everyone on here went through a phase of telling each other not to google dragon butter.

I can’t even remember what dragon butter is, but you probably shouldn’t google it!

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

sirlee thanks for taking one for the team

[ohfortuna]

Don't explain or justify it just say sorry it's not convenient you can't do it but here are some convenient hotels...

[ScattyCharly]

I’d be blunt. I’d say look usually it’d be fine but this is the first weekend we’ve had without our children for 5 years (or whatever). We need to spend this time alone.

[Sparkletastic]

Sploshing sounds ok but it would kill my knees to kneel in the shower. Perhaps in the paddling pool on the lawn?

[fabulous01]

Just keep saying no

I bet he is loaded and you will realise that if you give in

Enjoy the special time you have even if you have to tell a fib, lock the door and pretend you aren’t home

[Leeds2]

I would have no issues about saying no, without giving any reason. Nice of you if you send the link to the Premier Inn, and any other hotels near the party venue.
I would also NOT answer the door at all that evening. Just in case.

[CherryMaDeary]

This thread has real CF potential - do update us OP!