Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to feel like I'm off work lots...

34 replies

cjt110 · 05/03/2018 16:33

...due to DS. He's 3. A good kid. With grandparents 2 days and at nursery 3 days. Since the beginning of the year I've been off work because he had the trots (nursery wouldn't take him - rightly so - and I wouldnt put it onto my mum to clear that up), because they closed due to the snow and later this week nursery are closed for staff training.

DH is on a contract whereby a fair chuck is overtime so him taking time off wouldn't benefit us. DParents are busy the 3 days of the week DS is at nursery.

Fortunately my place is very good but I cant help but feel it's taking the piss but these have been situations we couldn't avoid. No other family/friends nearby to help out.

Any advice on how to manage this is welcome.

OP posts:

Original poster

cjt110 · 05/03/2018 16:33

fair chunk not chuck!

OP posts:

BellyBean · 05/03/2018 16:35

I get that you'd lose money if DH took his share of the days, but he should do some or you'll get a reputation.

DalekDalekDalek · 05/03/2018 16:35

I wouldn't feel guilty. I think most parents go through phases where they seem to be off with their child a lot followed by years where they don't need much time at all.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 05/03/2018 16:35

Offer to take the days out of your annual leave. A company has to give you time off to look after dependents but doesn't have to pay you. If you take it as leave it will probably be looked up on more kindly.

letsdolunch321 · 05/03/2018 16:36

Is working from home an option?

littledinosaurs · 05/03/2018 16:38

How many days have you been off OP? Are you ever able to do a bit of work at home? Where I work are really good as well. I think you just have to explain – some things are just out of your hands. You could always ask your manager if she is concerned (and apologise at the same time if you feel it necessary).

Original poster

cjt110 · 05/03/2018 16:39

I have emailed my boss asking to take the day as unpaid or to work from home. He has asked whether I can take it as holiday. I would rather not. I have 10 days booked off in June, had 10 days in February and only have a further 2 days left.

Have emailed him back saying "I would rather not if it is unavoidable" What I meant is I'd rather not book it as holiday if I can... not unavoidable!

On this occasion DH can't get time off as 2 colleagues are already off on Thursday.

OP posts:

Original poster

cjt110 · 05/03/2018 16:43

I have to be careful what I say but I am the only person in the company who does my role. There are others in a different role who work from home 3 days a week. They have no illness (that I am aware of) and no children. They too need access to the phone and laptop.

I believe the smallest amount of parental leave I can take is a week. And policy states that they need 21 days notice or something...

OP posts:

ReinettePompadour · 05/03/2018 16:44

I do understand you'd rather not take any time out of your annual leave. However this is how the majority of working parents cover unexpected time off.

Can you buy more leave days just to give you a bit of leeway? Otherwise its going to be up to your dh to take his share of unpaid leave.

ChristmasAddict · 05/03/2018 16:46

We keep some annual leave days aside for this kind of thing. We have a week off instead of your two weeks for our family holidays instead. It's only a few short years.

GrockleBocs · 05/03/2018 16:52

Swap half of your leave booked for June to parental leave (unpaid) freeing up 5 days leave you can take as single days.

Original poster

cjt110 · 05/03/2018 16:57

Have read that I can take leave in an emergency (which can be in advance or not) unpaid. Will see what is said.

Perhaps take Thurs/Fri off as a long weekend and move a week of my fortnight to another week.

I suppose it irks me that as I've said above, A.Nother can work from home 3 days a week, yet it seems not to be possible for me

OP posts:

PilatesSuck · 05/03/2018 17:11

I havd a similar situation to you. We do lose money but we share the time off. That way it shows my career is as important to his which in my industry is crucial.

In future, i would share.

ajandjjmum · 05/03/2018 17:12

I suppose that your employer would think you were caring for your sick child, not working from home?

BusterTheBulldog · 05/03/2018 17:13

Your colleague that works from home is presumably working rather than looking after a child though?

JoJoSM2 · 05/03/2018 21:21

Well, if they haven't got kids then it makes sense they can work from home. You wouldn't get much work done while looking after a 3-year-old, would you?

Happies · 05/03/2018 21:26

I've had similar issues as my dd has had an on going health issue... I think I've taken 7-8 days off since January and I only work 3 days a week.
My DH has had to take some too.

All days have been taken as Annual leave and I can work from home but I am not allowed to WFH while being the only responsible adult for DD.

It's blimming frustrating but just how it goes sometimes x

Viviennemary · 05/03/2018 21:27

People get resentful in the end if they have to constantly pick up the slack for colleagues who are always absent from work. Depends what you mean by absent a lot.

chinam · 05/03/2018 21:51

Not all roles are suitable for WFH options. It is at the discretion of the company to decide what roles they allow people to WFH in.
I would take holidays in this instance as you've said the company has been good so far.

RedForFilth · 05/03/2018 22:05

As a manager I find it really annoying when it's always mum's taking the time off (there's only one male where I work). It should be a shared responsibility between parents and you will probably get a bad reputation at work in afraid. It can't be helped if your child is poorly but it doesn't look like you're exploring all your options. I know it's difficult but doable as a single parent with little support.

Popfan · 05/03/2018 22:22

You need to share with your DH. Annoys me too when it is always the woman taking the time off. Your company need you to work and it's tough luck if you lose out if your DH takes time out too - having children is a shared responsibility.

FluffyWuffy100 · 05/03/2018 22:27

You can't WFH when you've got a child who is too sick for nursery, or who needs looking after if nursery is shut. You need to you know, actually look after the child!

Even though it wouldn't be financially advantages for your DP to take a day off, he should share the child sick days. Otherwise your work is going to get pissed off. You aren't a single parent and screaming "My job isn't as important as my DPs" is a pretty stupid thing to do.

JackietheBackie · 05/03/2018 22:38

It is difficult. You can’t expect your company to pay you for days when you aren’t working though. I can’t WFH in my job, and there’s has only even been one occasion when we were absolutely stuck due to an unexpected poorly child, and I had to take it as a days unpaid emergency leave. If you are the only person in your company that does your job, it is even more important that you are reliable.

Also, if you decide to leave and are applying for other jobs, lots of days off sick is not going to reflect well on you.

Alienspaceship · 05/03/2018 22:45

Your emails are v cheeky. Take it as leave. And get your husband to do half - women like you get women generally a bad reputation in the workplace. You sound v entitled.

CocoPuffsInGodMode · 05/03/2018 22:54

As pps have said, people generally set aside some annual leave for when these issues come up (and they come up a lot with nursery/early primary). I get what you're saying re DPs job but he presumably has annual leave too and could use some for days dc needs to be minded?

It reads like the default position is you needing the time off and therefore your employer being the one effected. Asking them for WFH option to deal with this is a bad move because in most jobs you can't actually do your days work and take care of a 3 year old. From your employers POV you're asking to be paid to stay home with your child, you can see why they'd say no.

Flip

1 2