to feel like I'm off work lots...

[cjt110]

...due to DS. He's 3. A good kid. With grandparents 2 days and at nursery 3 days. Since the beginning of the year I've been off work because he had the trots (nursery wouldn't take him - rightly so - and I wouldnt put it onto my mum to clear that up), because they closed due to the snow and later this week nursery are closed for staff training.

DH is on a contract whereby a fair chuck is overtime so him taking time off wouldn't benefit us. DParents are busy the 3 days of the week DS is at nursery.

Fortunately my place is very good but I cant help but feel it's taking the piss but these have been situations we couldn't avoid. No other family/friends nearby to help out.

Any advice on how to manage this is welcome.

I'm afraid I agree - I'm a single parent to a DD who has had quite regular times of ill health over the past few years (she's 4) but her grandparent, my sister/her Dad or his family have had to all pull in to help - i can't cover it all.
I also manage a team at work and I have a range of staff in different positions - a single Mum who will try other options to ensure she can work if it's a critical time for us, a Mum who works part time (step down for her career-wise since she had her children) who's husband has a responsible and 'good' job but they share time off when their kids are ill because both jobs are important. Then I have another mum who is constantly complaining about money, but if her child is ever ill, she won't even ask her parents to look after it because 'they need their mum', even on a day when they would normally look after them. She won't consider her DH staying home because he earns more - reflects very badly on her as am employee I'm afraid, and doesn't make her a better mother either.

Have given my head a wobble and submitted a request for leave. Thanks for the advice all.

Hats off to you cjt - a rare occurrence for an AIBU poster to listen to advice!

Hope your little one is better soon.

I agree with the OP that sometimes it is not always the best solution to split unexpected childcare leave 50/50.

My DH’s employer is very flexible re WFH as long as he hasn’t got meetings. He can WFH and look after DS (do a couple of hours during the day, then the rest of the hours 6-12pm once I’m home). My employer is less flexible and it is resented a little when others have to cover, so I tend to do much less of the emergency childcare.

In OPs case, financially it’s better for them if her OH doesn’t take time off, so I agree they should try to minimise him doing so

@Alienspaceship

And get your husband to do half - women like you get women generally a bad reputation in the workplace. You sound v entitled.

Not everyone has the option. I do, to some extent, as my employer is very flexible and understanding. My DH can't, he works in retail, he has a fair amount of time off anyway due to a health condition and is on thin ice with his employer already.

Im not entitled at all @Alienspaceship. I am trying to do my best as a full time working mother when instances occur where I need to be at home for my son. My employer is flexible and has been in the past when my son was younger about some home working. It just irked me that I was being expected to use my annual leave when I am perfectly entitled to request unpaid.

As it stands, I have taken my final 2 days of leave and will be using the holiday buyback scheme - getting unpaid holiday in another form in stead with lots of other forms to be completed at my end and payroll.

And as for women like me getting women a bad reputation? You mean a woman who is trying to balance work, childcare and various bills? My husband's work are not flexible when it comes to time off. Therefore we make the best of a bad situation.

We’re all trying you balance work, childcare and bills. But as a manager why should I always have to accommodate your childcare issue? My business isn’t any less ‘important’ that your husband’s. Both parents need to shoulder the burden, after all, you’re both being paid to do a job.

I said it can reflect badly if it's always the Mum who takes time off and it appears to her employer that the father never steps up.
I am a single Mum myself, and DD's dad is self-employed - he doesn't get paid and risks losing clients & future income if he doesn't work. He still had to cancel the occasional day of clients to look after DD because my job is also important.
However, my job is also very important (especially now I'm a single parent) so I have to look at all other possibilities before I can take any time off myself.
My issue, is when it is ALWAYS the Mum taking the time off work to cover illness without trying any other options, will never reflect well on the woman.