To wish autism didn’t exist

[Etherized]

How can you even start with it all?

I am finding it so hard and trying to be a parent to one who will never understand.

@ASimpleLagoon

I have never called another poster out on comments on here before but I was literally open mouthed at the presumptuousness and arrogance of your comment. Based on a couple of sentences from a parent struggling with a condition that is clearly having a massive impact on their child, you chose to interpret that as them failing their child? The OP was reaching out for support, you should be ashamed

Who needs help when you have lovely supportive posts like the one above?

I Wish my grandson didn't have autism,I wish he had friends,I wish he could go to school fulltime,I wish he could communcate he is loved and happy but worry for his future.

asimplelagoon that is real harsh !

Sorry lampoon

To those who are saying that that the op is being unreasonable i'm assuming that you you are thinking of high functioning autism only? How about those who are profoundly autistic? I bet they would wish that they didn't have autism. I am with you op, yanbu

I would get rid of the associated anxiety in a heartbeat.

I would make the world a generally more welcoming, understanding, adaptive type of place with more consideration for people’s needs in general.

Even high functioning autism can suck when it makes a person feel so anxious they can't function.

My 11 year old son is in that position, I'd take it away from him in a heartbeat.

I hear you OP.

If you haven't already see if you can get on a Barnados Cygnet Course, it is good to meet others in the same boat to share ideas and not being alone in your worries is a real help.

It isn’t just that, though, Sirzy

The world can only adapt so much, after all.

I have a son with severe autism and learning disabilities I love him to bits and wouldnt wish he didn't exist but its hard work and I think some times people have no understanding of severe autism even those on the autistic spectrum themselves .

Sorry you are having such a hard time. Special needs section on here is supportive

You can despair at the difficulties resulting from some of your child’s difficulties without throwing all autisic people under the bus

I agree.

Your child doesn’t hate themselves because they’re autistic. They hate themselves because they’ve internalised poor treatment from others, be that school peers, teachers, whatever.

I suppose my answer to that is that I have yet to see it impact positively anywhere.

Yes, people say it does, but then I am not sure they know any different so I am unsure. It is at heart a disability, after all. And there is still a person within autism so you cannot know if these are personality traits or autism. Besides, it is not a personal slight on you and you shouldn’t take it as such.

Yanbu - I had a hellish weekend and morning with my DS. Meltdown because someone asked him to remove his jacket, and then because I got him ready for school.

No

They hate themselves because they behave in bizarre ways no one understands

Because they are excluded from much or mainstream life

Because they will never achieve their potential

Because they will never marry or have a family

A thousand becauses. Because autism can be shit. Sorry.

CuntentWarning

"You can despair at the difficulties resulting from some of your child’s difficulties without throwing all autisic people under the bus"

I totally agree

And equally you can be grateful for your autism and the benefits it brings to your life whilst recognising that some parents have adult children who cannot speak, self harm and cannot function independently at all.
Some of us will spend the rest of our lives worrying about what on earth will happen to their children when they are gone

I understand how you feel, but realise that Autism isn’t a disease that hides their personality, it means their brains are wired differently so anything they do is THEM and their personality. It isn’t their autism speaking, it isn’t an excuse for anything, it’s just sometimes a reason why (in relation to things like... why won’t my child do the same as jimmys kids?)

You can despair at the difficulties resulting from some of your child’s difficulties without throwing all autisic people under the bus
This.

Quite Pagwatch.

They hate themselves because they behave in bizarre ways no one understands or the hate that so many people don’t try to understand?

Because they are excluded from much or mainstream life again is that not as much down to society not understanding it trying to understand

Because they will never achieve their potential says who? Everyone has different potential and with the right support they can still achieve THEIR potential

Because they will never marry or have a family plenty of people with autism do both. Plenty of people without autism do neither

thousand becauses. Because autism can be shit. Sorry.

Yes autism can be shit. But as a parent you need to manage your expections and be realistic. You have to accept a new “normal” and yes it’s fucking tough and there will be good days and bad but the most important thing I have learnt is that acceptance is the most important part of dealing with things

I'm autistic. I quite like it. I have four children, three of whom are autistic. It's not easy. I hope things improve for you both soon.

I have autism and I’m be of the things I hate is when people say that they wish it didn’t exist. It makes me feel like I will never be good enough in there eyes, and like there is something wrong with me. I’m sorry your struggling, but it’s very offensive to say things like that.

Is it possible for you to homeschool? It’s a God send for SEN parents. The HE communities are brilliant and accepting, zero bullying, zero thinking there’s something wrong with them - just acceptance for being different, like everybody else on the planet.
You can’t change some things but you can allow them to be happy