AIBU to expect my DH who has a good degree and published his own book to know better?

[thisisdavina]

I think his grammar is apalling.

This morning he asked....

'Did we ought to get the children sitting at the table for breakfast?'

He insists on saying 'did we ought to...' everytime he asks a question like this.

I know his family hail from Yorkshire but isn't using past, present and future tense in one very small sentence utter nonsense?

Or is it me being thick?

Ok in the general scheme of things, this isn't really important stuff or anything but I told him if he said it one more time I would 'Mumsnet it'

seriously?? do you really care that much? if it is a regional thing, or even a little idiosyncracy..it is really not that important, surely....

I have a degree (in journalism FFS so I DO know how to speak and write) but I still use regional dialect. It's part of who I am. Is that unreasonable?

Well I'm an unreasonable person but that's another question.

Are your kids picking this up, is this what concerns you, or are you just generally narked today?

The kids have picked up on it!

Yes I am narked because he is teasing me with it constantly - perhaps I should back away and not rise to it!

was it a book on the merits of Yorkshire dialect?

Or maybe 'How to Drive Your Wife Nuts' a guide to using local dialect to infuriate your spouse.

Yes, Boco!

Is it a psychology degree he's got?

If he feels you're having a go at his 'roots' he'll REALLY object. Let it go. You can correct the children but not him on stuff like this if you want a happy relationship

'Did we ought' is not correct English grammar and I remember this construction being sneered at by Enid Blyton in one of her boarding school books. As Enid Blyton's English is deeply rooted in the 1950s if not earlier, I'd say your dh's language is old-fashioned as well as incorrect.

Better than swearing or obscenity though. And now he's found it winds you up he has to assert himself by repeating it.

However, it is not past present and future.
'Did' is past tense.
'Ought' doesn't have a past tense and is an archaic form of the subjunctive. Though still just about in use, it sounds formal when used correctly: 'Ought we to get the children sitting ...'.
'to get the children sitting' is an infinitive.

At least he didn't split it.

badly written english pisses me off, but mine is fecking awful! But i love the little things that people say wrong etc. Did we ought to, though, yeah i'd have to punch him!

'Post Modern Grammar' by Thisis Dave MA (Eng Lang)

Okay I have to agree with thisthisdavina. I know I will get slammed here. My husband is also from Yorkshire. Last weekend my father in law was actually making my daughter repeat after him: "Say, 'it were really good!'" I thought he was having a laugh and I corrected him, as our daughter is receiving some speech therapy and the last thing I expected her grandparents to do was actively encourage her to use incorrect grammar. Anyway, when I corrected him I found I did indeed touch a nerve: "That's just a colloquialism!" He said, like it was totally fine to encourage her to speak that way. His feeling was that I had really 'dissed' his Yorkshire roots or something.

Okay I have to agree with thisthisdavina. I know I will get slammed here. My husband is also from Yorkshire. Last weekend my father in law was actually making my daughter repeat after him: "Say, 'it were really good!'" I thought he was having a laugh and I corrected him, as our daughter is receiving some speech therapy and the last thing I expected her grandparents to do was actively encourage her to use incorrect grammar. Anyway, when I corrected him I found I did indeed touch a nerve: "That's just a colloquialism!" He said, like it was totally fine to encourage her to speak that way. His feeling was that I had really 'dissed' his Yorkshire roots or something.

I found myself saying something "wrong" but perfectly acceptable in Lancashire yesterday (can't remember what it was). I did worry about ds repeating it - but only because nobody would understand that it was a Lanky expression with his Kiwi accent and would simply think he had his words around the wrong way.

I did tell ds to "keep his nose clean" today, and he said he couldn't because it was full of snot - so I rather think I should look more closely at my idioms than my regional sayings.

YABU

loads of people at my office (in London) say "I done xyz" even in written English. It drives me mad. They obviously view it as acceptable vernacular English which it almost is, in London. I view it as wrong.

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

I've not read Enid Blyton books.

Thankfully.

Cuz they sounds like the kind of books I'd take with me camping.

To burn on the fire in the evening.

FWIW, my daughter is also going to speech therapy.

She has dyspraxia.

I encourage her picking up colloquialisms and I find her accent absolutely gorgeous.

Her voice sounds like a song and she should be very proud of her nationality and the region she is from and revel in that heritage.

I find it so sad in the UK how that's looked down upon.

What a loss!

Just thank your lucky stars that he doesn't have a broad Hull accent and dialect.

ds has taken to saying "I aren't" instead of "I'm not"- drives me crazy.His funniest is "I durrrnt nerrrr" (I don't know) which is hysterical pronounced in broad Hull!!A phone is a "fern" and a road a "rerd".VERY strange accent!!!!

Apologies to all Hull-ites out there :0

There is absolutely no such thing as "incorrect grammar".

There is only unconventional grammar.

Language is not a designed thing. It evolved. It did not come from rules, so rules set after the facts are just guidelines to understand how language is commonly used.

English in the UK has changed hugely even within the last 30 years. There are a myriad of variations on how the language is used globally. It will continue to change. These changes are not caused by dictionary compilers or grammar textbooks.

Your own local perspective, preferences and politics will cause huge conscious and unconscious differences in what you believe "proper English" to be.

Hi everyone, just come back to this and haven't had the chance to read through all the replies, but will do!

Can I just point out that my husband isn't from Yorkshire (errr he was born and raised in Slough!!!!! ) but his parents came from Yorkshire so I was just wondering if this was some sort of throwback!

I am in no way taking the piss out of regional dialects though, so please don't take offence.

Now then, did I ought to have a glass of wine with my mumsnet this evening or a nice cup of tea?

Oh, thank god, vimfuego. I always end up having to make the argument you're making, all on my own.

You do realise you're fighting a losing battle here, though. Traditionally, women are very aspirational, and a lot of this is expressed in anxiety over 'proper' speaking.

Everyone ends up mastering a few dialects of their language, for different circumstances.

(Oh, but there is 'incorrect grammar' - we hear it from people who don't speak the language correctly, whether they are learning or have had a stroke or whatever. Although DS2 says it regularly, I don't think 'no me go there' is correct in any non-pidgin dialect of English.)

NQC, I am not in the least bit proper or aspirational I can assure you of that!

It's just that he is so clever (well compared to me anyway) so I find it funny that he comes out with sentences like that and doesn't see why I find it odd.

He will also insist on mopping a very dirty and debris strewn floor before he hoovers it - its just bloody wrong!!!!!