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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask , did you grow up rich or poor?

111 replies

SteveAs · 04/03/2018 18:54

I would for me , in between , we weren't over the top wealthy but I still lived quite a good childhood , there was never any problems financially

OP posts:
HisBetterHalf · 04/03/2018 18:55

What do you class as poor?

Yogafailure · 04/03/2018 18:57

Poor! The while chipping ice off the inside of windows and no central heating, colour TV blah blah. However I didn't realise we were poor until I was in my teens. We wanted for nothing emotionally and our parents went without for us. Looking back, and after decades in education, I realise that my childhood was like something out of Enid Blyton. Not a single adverse childhood experience here.

off to post and check my name change has worked 😂

Almondtree · 04/03/2018 18:58

Middle of the road really. Not rich by any means, went to state school but lived in a nice area in a big house, went abroad at least twice a year. Parents earn averagely in decent jobs and instilled a good work ethic in us, I got my first job (shop work, restaurants, etc) at 15 which taught me the value of money and have worked ever since

overmydeadbody · 04/03/2018 18:59

Well I lived an expat life in a country with a huge difference between the poor beggars on the street and the Uber rich multimillionaires in their mansions.

So it depended where I was and who I had seen as to weather I felt rich or poor, but we never struggled, we never had to get food out of bins like I saw lots of children do. But we didn't have a swimming pool which was what a lot of my friends had.

It out things into perspective from a young age.

Almondtree · 04/03/2018 18:59

Sorry by my comment I don't mean people who are poor or less well off don't have a good work ethic or don't work hard at all! I just mean they didn't fund everything for us despite not being short of money, if we wanted extras we had to buy it ourselves so that meant getting a job.

couchparsnip · 04/03/2018 19:00

Middle. Poor at first then DM trained as a teacher and we could afford holidays, better cars etc. DF worked for local council

isseywithcats · 04/03/2018 19:00

Poor dad died when i was nine mid 1960s my mom was told go to work or put us kids in care as benefits system was nothing like it is today (bad as it is) so my mom went to work and while we didnt have luxuries we didnt go without anything, and i appreciate the sacrifices my mom must have had to make for us

YellowMakesMeSmile · 04/03/2018 19:01

Poor and controlling, it made school awful at times and friendships almost impossible. It showed me in very black and white terms that adults wants came before children's needs and I'm definitely a much better parent as would never repeat the choices made.

seagulltargetpractice · 04/03/2018 19:02

Towards the poor end of the scale but never without things we needed.

Curtainshopping · 04/03/2018 19:02

Poor

But I am rich as an adult which results in a struggle not to spoil my DC.

FreudianSlurp · 04/03/2018 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

upsideup · 04/03/2018 19:04

Pretty rich but completely unhappy and struggeling in all other aspects of life apart from financially.

DaphneduM · 04/03/2018 19:06

A country childhood, very comfortable and interesting. Going out for lots of walks, accompanying my brothers fishing and my dad shooting. Also very well fed and clothed from my dad's shops, grocery and drapery. Also home grown veg. Happy days!!

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 04/03/2018 19:09

I would say poor. We had a reasonable house in an ok area, we were warm and fed and had a holiday abroad every year, but we didn't have much money for clothes, treats etc. and we knew better than to ask.

Helsingborg · 04/03/2018 19:09

Bit of both, my parents had their own business so when it was doing well we were ok. Then the financial crash happened and the business went under without my parents having a plan b in place.

phoenix1973 · 04/03/2018 19:10

Poorer especially for single mum with 3 kids.
No wftc. No paid for ch care. No legal aid for her.
No maintenance.
Fucking hard. Its a credit to her strength that she kept up fed and housed. I don't know how she did it. She worked hard in low paid jobs.

spidey66 · 04/03/2018 19:11

Neither. Comfortable, we were warm, fed and watered and had school shoes and warm winter coats, but no ponies in the back garden or holidays in Florida.

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 04/03/2018 19:13

Not that well off initially - my dad set up a business when I was about 2 or 3 and that gradually went from strength to strength. The only real difference was that we could afford new things (furniture, clothes etc.), the cars got nicer, we moved to a bigger house and started going on more/more expensive holidays.

I guess it will be the same for our little one. We own our house (mortgaged - and it’s very little!) and do okay amongst our peers but we are definitely at the second hand furniture, couldn’t afford a new car, rarely treat ourselves stage in our lives. I’m hoping that DP and I will progress in our careers and gradually things will be a bit less tight.

IndianaMoleWoman · 04/03/2018 19:15

I felt well off compared to others on our estate. My (single) mum worked long hours and was too proud to claim free school dinners. We didn’t really go anywhere so I had no real exposure to anyone who wasn’t from the estate, where there was lots of unemployment, substance abuse, repeat offenders, domestic violence and where counterfeit goods were the norm.

I remember turning off an episode of Blue Peter aged around nine because it featured a girl riding her own horse. I was indignant because the idea of owning a horse seemed ridiculous, like something only the queen could afford.

When I received my acceptance letter from university I was absolutely gobsmacked to discover that they were giving me a special access grant for students from deprived backgrounds. I couldn’t get my head round it; I had genuine Nike trainers (which had been a joint Christmas and birthday present) and my own TV in my room (given when our main TV was upgraded) - how could I possibly be considered deprived? I wasn’t one of those kids who had to wear their school uniform in the holidays or wore cheap off-brand sportswear. I thought there must be some mistake.

University was a massive, massive shock. I hated it and became very withdrawn because everyone seemed so vastly different to me. They chatted about skiing trips, summer holidays to Asia and South America, horse care (bloody horses again!), the majority had not only learned to drive but also had their own cars, paid for by parents. I felt like my whole concept of who I was (ie pretty well off by our neighbours’ standards) has been obliterated. I still struggle with low self esteem.

So yes, I guess I actually did grow up poor, but I had no idea at the time.

Greystar · 04/03/2018 19:20

poor, no hot water for a long period of time, heated bricks as a substitute water bottles, a Portable loo, black and white TV, I'm in my early thirties.
Im middle ground now, and I very much appreciate it.

Turnocks34 · 04/03/2018 19:22

We were dirt poor until I was about 11, when we became really, really well off.

My mum and dad were 15 when my mum got pregnant with me, and my brother and sister were also both born before my mum turned 21. They lived with my granny until I was 2, when they were able to get a 100% mortgage although My mum didn't work until my brother started school, instead my dad worked 100 hour weeks at a local factory, where, the owner admired his work ethic and promoted him. . My mum and dad used this promotion to allow my mum to go back to college, and then university where she trained to be a teacher, and then my dad went to night college where he passed his GCSEs and went on to get a degree in economics.

Whilst all this was happening we used to literally have treasure hunt s rounds the house for pennies to buy bread/milk. We couldn't afford holidays, one small Christmas present and birthday present. I remember knowing I was poor too, I couldn't go on school trips, we couldn't afford 'fun' foods like ketchup, dizzy drinks, biscuits etc. I don't remember being massively upset.

By the time I reached high school both of my parents were in well paying jobs, my dad then got a promotion which put him into 6 figure salary brackets, and my mum became a head teacher which didn't put her far behind, and so we then had all of the things we never had although my parents remained strict, we had to work for everything we've ever had really but they are very, very generous.

Ducktalesooooh · 04/03/2018 19:25

Fairly poor. Council house, council estate, 50p electric meter. Grants for clothes, free school meals, never went on holiday ever. However, like someone else said, I didn't realise we were poor until secondary school when the kids laughed at my Hi Tec trainers and my glued together shoes. My childhood was lovely until that point. I spent two years getting bullied for being uncool and wearing crap clothes, then I got a job age 14 and paid for everything myself. I do appreciate the sacrifices my mum made though, especially after my Dad left.

Littlechocola · 04/03/2018 19:26

Poor as in grew up thinking sofa surfing was normal.

Camomila · 04/03/2018 19:26

Poor. I had a good childhood though running around with all the other kids on the estate. Didn't realise we were poor till about age 14/15 when I started GCSEs.
I was in all the 'clever' options/top sets and suddenly my friends were very MC.

Storminateapot · 04/03/2018 19:26

Initially poor I think, then the higher side of middling as my Dad's career progressed and he ran his own business.

I consider myself very lucky, secure, loved, happy parents - I describe my childhood as all ponies & picnics. My parents never forgot their roots though and we never had every single thing we desired, but money wasn't tight and I am very grateful.