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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that just about everyone knows that one couple...

105 replies

HoneyDragon · 04/03/2018 18:34

The one where one party isn’t abusive/ cruel/evil, but is just your bog standard simply dreadful. Yet their significant other is a total poppet and somewhat unassuming and nice.

You know the ones? Where you find yourself at events where they are and spend your time considering rehoming and rehabilitating the nice one and then relocating them 3000 miles away and releasing them back into the wild to start a new life with a suitable mate?

OP posts:

GabsAlot · 04/03/2018 20:04

you shold tell him youve jumped off a cliff and died jay

then come back to life

CanIhavedessertfirst · 04/03/2018 20:06

Yes! DH's cousin is a spoilt princess and married to someone who absolutely dotes on her! She has been known to ring him and demand he pick her up from wherever she is and it doesn't matter if he's in bed after working nights or out with friends. He is so bloody lovely, too lovely tbh and she takes it for granted. She rights some statuses on fb that totally take this piss out of him, like the latest one

Made the DH sleep on the sofa last night, he can be cold all night since he didn't put the electric blanket on and let me get into a cold bed. Fuming. - feeling ammused with DH.

Ugh!

CanIhavedessertfirst · 04/03/2018 20:06

writes amused my spelling was appalling

NordicNobody · 04/03/2018 20:09

Yup I know that couple. My best friend of 12 years, sweetest thing you'll ever meet, and her now husband, utter utter twat. He's not "abusive" but he's just so mean for no reason! Like, won't let her borrow his dressing gown if she's cold/ demands it back from her even if he isn't wearing, or makes himself a hot drink but won't make her one. He makes more money than her working in a very male dominated field and she works in a very female dominated field and he's very sneezy and dismissive about her work.

I've got a question - does anyone know a couple like this where the utter twat isn't the dp/ dh?

Original poster

HoneyDragon · 04/03/2018 20:09

chameleons I guess like a pp said sometimes it’s worth wondering if there is a reason behind one party being a dick.

OP posts:

NordicNobody · 04/03/2018 20:10

Cross post with cameleon and canihave!

Original poster

HoneyDragon · 04/03/2018 20:11

Nurdic me.

I know two couples and in one the annoying one is female and we are all perpetually agog at the fact he’s stayed with her all these years.

OP posts:

IveGotStupidHair · 04/03/2018 20:11

God yes. One of my best friends is absolutely lovely - funny, clever, successful and gorgeous. She met a bloke a couple of years ago. She talked about him incessantly and when I finally met him he was at her flat, lying on the sofa and just shouted ‘hi!’ without sitting up, opening his eyes or anything. We then had our usual girly Friday night watching films and stuffing our faces with him lying like a fucking corpse in the middle of the room. They now have a dc and I haven’t once seen him off tha fucking sofa. He has no job, dc is in full time nursery while friend works her arse off. I just want to give her a bloody good shake. Mutual friends have decided he must have a magic cock.

Turnocks34 · 04/03/2018 20:11

My best friends boyfriend. He's not absusive, just a fucking idiot.

He came into my house, and says 'I was going to choose these door knobs but I thought they were a bit tacky in the end'

Once asked me 'why did you choose the name Joshua (for my son) because it's a bit common isn't it?'

Called himself the wasp whisperer last summer when we were being hounded by them, and tried to trap them under a glass but actually pisses them off to the point one of them stung my poor, commonly named son on the ear.

And generally he just makes shit, misogynistic jokes all the time which no one laughs at.

You know, who he is..David Brent out of the office

Snowmagedon · 04/03/2018 20:14

Sgtmajor. Wow.

Poor girl! Just thinking to my own dh utterly selfless behaviour.. I wouldn't even let him go to the loo eventually mw persuaded me to me him go
.

unicornpoopoop · 04/03/2018 20:14

This is what people probably think about me and my husband. Everyone loves him and I seem so dull in comparison but that's the show version of him - not the real version

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/03/2018 20:16

We know one. He told Dh he left her once but went back.

I said why on earth did he go back?. Pretty sure their both miserable, only married because she was pg not due to love & it’s no basis for a marriage.

It’s a waste of two lives.

HundredMilesAnHour · 04/03/2018 20:18

I lost one of my closest friends when she became part of one of 'these' couples. I liked her previous boyfriends/partners (I'm still good friends with one of them). She cheated on her partner at the time with a guy she worked with and eventually got together with the work guy (although she never told her ex about the cheating - I know he suspected but...). The work guy was AWFUL. No social skills, pretentious and insecure but from a wealthy background. I tried VERY hard for several years to get along with him (including going on holidays with him and his family!) but I couldn't and I didn't like the person my friend was becoming when she was with him.

Eventually I'd had enough and asked her to meet me for lunch one Sat and planned to tell her how I felt and that I wanted to be her friend but didn't want any contact with him. As we sat down to lunch, I said that I needed to talk to her. She said she had news too and exclaimed "I'm pregnant and we're getting married!". I knew our friendship was dead at this point. I didn't go to her wedding (it was overseas and I couldn't afford it). I think I've seen her twice since she married and had DC. Both times were miserable (her DC are pretentious brats and she seems quite proud of that).

It makes me sad as we were very close for many years and if she'd married someone else, I suspect we would still be friends. I just couldn't get past the idiot she chose to be with.

HRHPrincessMegan · 04/03/2018 20:26

Fortunately not. I do know couples matched in awfulness and therefore completely compatible with each other if not the company of others.

george49 · 04/03/2018 20:33

Oh yes.

My friend's husband is a lovely, fun guy down the pub but my god, if I had to live with him I'd kill him.

Thing is she quite often wants to kill him too, secretly, but now she's two kids and a renovation project into it I can see her doing a LOT of biting her lip to keep the show on the road.

She stuck with him for yonks hoping for a ring but I don't really think she thought any further than the wedding.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 04/03/2018 20:35

I have often wondered this about patients I've encountered through work. The patient is so completely appalling that I'm agog to meet the person who voluntarily married and has stayed with them.

And then they turn out to be normal and lovely! And I just want to ask "What?? Why?!" But of course I never can.

Sparklesocks · 04/03/2018 20:39

My friend’s newish DP is on a very restrictive diet for weight loss, she’s lost a massive amount already (which is impressive) but she talks about it CONSTANTLY.
That’s just about manageable - but she also comments on what you’re eating too - ‘oooh do you know how much sugar is in that?’ ‘I could never eat that, that’s almost all of your carb allowance!!’
Drives me mad but friend loves her to pieces so stuck a bit. Going for a meal with her is torturous..

TheNavigator · 04/03/2018 20:40

My in laws. My FIL was a complete delight, loved by all. My MIL on the other hand... No affairs to explain it - small town, trust me, we would know.

Shockers · 04/03/2018 20:47

Everyone likes DH...

MerryInthechelseahotel · 04/03/2018 20:57

A few times during this thread I've thought pp's have been talking about my exh. So if you were talking about someone with a first name beginning with B and now with a lovely woman beginning with H in central Scotland I agree with what you are saying 😂

MerryInthechelseahotel · 04/03/2018 20:57

Shockers

kaitlinktm · 04/03/2018 21:02

Everyone liked my exDH too - only I knew he was a knob.

n0ne · 04/03/2018 21:03

Yes! Unfortunately it's my lovely DSis and her awful DH. He's a controlling, narcissistic, condescending, manipulative, interfering, shit-stirring sociopath and she just can't see it. The worst bit is he's left her twice for other women but gone back again after she begged him I wish he'd fuck off for good - her life would have been so different if she'd never met that vampire.

ValleyClouds · 04/03/2018 21:12

I know two where the offender is the wife, both guys lovely sweet genial people

Wife 1 : a sort of beyond the pale egotist, hard to explain, everything has to be about her at all times and she gets absorbed in these fads that become her only topic of conversation

Wife 2: An overgrown 9 year old who makes me cringe - once had a tantrum over not being bought the Disney films she wanted

TossDaily · 04/03/2018 21:13

Yes - my gorgeous, sexy, funny, creative, independent best friend.

Oh God, her DP is a bellend.

I just don't know what happened.

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