My toddler keeps coming home smelling like a teenager

[jenjenj]

Hi everyone!

Every single time my toddler comes home from his dads, he STINKS of aftershave or perfume, really strongly, to the point he is stinking out my whole ground floor and I need to bath him as soon as he's home. It's actually starting to make me feel ill.

AIBU to ask his dad/his family to tone it down on the smells as they surely shouldn't be applying so much that it rubs off ALL over my child.

Xxx

Oh please get a big huge grip

I suspect you know YABU. FWIW I wouldn't like this either but there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

I read that back and realised I sound a bit like a douche, but it's just really disgusting and surely people understand that it's gross. I just didn't know if it was something I could raise with him.

Sorry

I'd hate it with a passion too but I wouldn't raise it. Him being happy and well cared for when he's with them is all that's really important.

if he is at his dad's he is in charge. so do t believe he smells so strong that it is stinking out the floor and making you ill. Is there an element of allergy against the dad involved as well?

How would you feel if his dad dictated things to you? Exactly.

What are you suggesting here? That you don't think his dad is properly looking after him?

I doubt it is stinking out your entire ground floor as what you'd be implying here is that they doused him in aftershave or perfume. If so then you need to (re)look at contact and expectations.

It sounds like a much wider issue.

WELL, the well cared for part isn't as true as I would like it to be. Messy situation, court, mediation, etc etc.

In the grand scheme of things, his honking aftershave is the least of my worries and I'm probably being really petty.

Thanks for your responses

Are you concerned the perfume/aftershave is being used to mask something else?

sorry, sounds as if you are deliberately difficult.

Don't believe the smell you describe either.

Haha when mine come home from nursery we always say they smell like 'the other woman' where the nursery workers have been cuddling them 😂

Missadasmith I probably am just being difficult, I did already say I'm probably being petty about the whole thing but it's something that's really been grating on me for the past 2 and a half years.

Sorry you don't believe me about the smell though, you don't have to, but in me and my partners opinion it's very smelly.

Well thanks for the honesty anyway I guess everyone.

Is it off his dad's face?
I only ask because my lovely DF wears aftershave and after I've kissed and hugged him I always can smell his aftershave on me for ages afterwards.

Is it being sprayed on him to mask cigarette smells?

I believe you about the smell. I find it quite unpleasant when my kids don't smell familiar to me, they stayed at PIL's last night and have come home smelling of perfume, aftershave and church. It was really strong when they first came home but as the day has worn on its less obvious. I'll be glad when they've all had a bath though.
I'm not sure there's much you can do about it though.

I believe you op . Just bathe him when he gets in and throw everything in the wash . Do you think they're spraying it directly on him ? I get a headache from strong smells and like my toddler smelling fresh due to the amount of time we spend in such close proximity to them and it's obviously nicer for them to smell clean . Can't believe anyone is disputing that .

The smell is probably more triggering as it is probably a smell you recognise & associate with your ex.
Just bather your DS straight away and don't make a big deal about it, otherwise he will start to pick up on it...

Unless you have other concerns I'd assume it meant he's getting lots of love and cuddles from people and their fragrances are transferring to his clothes. They're possibly overdoing it on the application, but that's not a bad thing, lots of people acclimatise to their own perfumes & overdo it.

I am very sensitive to smell and find an unfamiliar scent can be detectable to me for hours.

@Notso love the idea that they smell of church! Are they really there long enough for the smell to rub off??

I feel your pain OP. My teenage son hugged me yesterday and I stunk of heavy aftershave all day. He says he only put one squirt on, but the smell is very strong (I think it’s called Millions). I used to find the smell so offensive in my small car that I bought him some really lovely (subtle) aftershave for Christmas. His girlfriend doesn’t like the one I bought him (he does). She clearly has an impaired sense of smell .

I’d hate to smell something so strong on a toddler.

Our ds 2years old smells of my dh as every time dh puts deodorant on our ds has a little squirt or he screams could it be something like that?

@Qvar Is it being sprayed on him to mask cigarette smells?

That's what I thought too.

It’ll just seem so strong to you because you’re not used to the smell. And because you don’t like the wearer! Your ex probably thinks your ds smells funny when he arrives from your house.

The smell is probably so strong because it's not an everyday smell for you. I have to say if my husband and I go out for a meal and he puts a different aftershave on and gives our daughter a cuddle at any point, she always stinks of it. She smells stronger of it than he does and I really notice it.