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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Large group of parents and small children take over country restaurant

57 replies

user1483875094 · 04/03/2018 14:21

Well, I imagine the title got a lot of attention, but all is not what it seems.
I took my three grown up (all in 30's) out for an early Sunday Brunch at a lovely local (very rustic) village country restaurant, where you don't "book". We were seated and ordered and just waiting and chatting. A large group of adults, all seemingly having one child each came in with a huge number of buggies, bags, bottles, toys, - etc etc and demanded (and it was a demand, not a polite request) that the young girls serving made major re-organisation of what was the "main" room by moving 4, 4 seater tables and chairs together in a long line. This caused a fair bit of noise and commotion, and jogging of people already eating. The large and rather angry looking man, who seemed to be in charge "oversaw" the complete re-arrangement of the restaurant for his party. At one point, my son was jogged quite heavily by him, as he pushed past and shoved his chair, so my son simply very gently pushed "our table" a little bit further out of his way, and shuffled his chair further in under our table, in a completely passive way to give them yet more space. The "man in charge" (now known as MIC glowered at all four of us, as though we had done the OPPOSITE, and tried to "re-claim" breathing space. Finally all seated, parents order. Out comes about 5 packed lunches, drinks already in their own beakers, and a very demonstrative display of "we have brought our own food" with most of the adults very clearly "surveying everyone in the restaurant" for their reactions. Out came noisy wooden toys, which were slammed constantly on the table .. again MIC "surveying everyone else seemingly SEARCHING for any sign of a negative reaction!" None of the adults chatted to each other, nor seemed pleased to be having an outing, but were just constantly surveying everyone else in the room - it was very weird indeed! Lots of other families out with their small children, enjoying their outing, and we four adore children, and are absolutely not the sort of "tutters" you hear about. I made the mistake of innocently and distractedly glancing over when a 3-year old (ish) started screaming his head off, it was a momentary 2 second glance... I swear! MIC then glowered at me with a very intimidating expression for ages and ages... (and ages) actually "turning" his chair to face me. It was awful, and I completely lost my appetite. We felt so intimidated, that we hurried up and left. Surely, SURELY, this was some kind of "social experiment?" I even tried to smile, (albeit probably weakly) at MIC, which made his expression even angrier! What do you all think? We definitely were not imagining it, as this was happening to other guests who were being "scanned" by MIC ! Do let me have your thoughts, or perhaps I will read about this "social experiment" in the newspapers next week, perhaps?

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 04/03/2018 15:57

I think cafes and restaurants need to be much stricter on this bringing food in.

I have two food allergies, I check menus out before I go and avoid places that it would be difficult for me to eat in.

Maybe they should bring in charges to eat a packed lunch similar to corkage. £10 per child or something, their margins must be tight enough without people doing this.

EggysMom · 04/03/2018 16:03

We've been known to take 'packed lunch' for our child when eating out on holiday; he's autistic and has a self-limiting diet, plus he doesn't understand waiting for food, he has a spill-proof beaker, yaddaya.

But in response to Fluffycloudland77, I'd be happy to pay a nominal 'corkage' in lieu of our son ordering something off the menu, as they still have to clean up after him. (Maybe not as steep as £10 given a kids meal is around £3.50!)

Certcert · 04/03/2018 16:04

Maybe MIC is severely paranoid?

TheC · 04/03/2018 16:09

What a strange post. For you to have noticed all this you must have been constantly staring at their table. Weird.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/03/2018 16:10

Yeah but I don’t have kids, I don’t know what it costs eggy.

So the cost of a meal and one drink would be a suitable levy.

I don’t know why they haven’t done it already. I noticed one chain, cafe rouge?, is now pre pay when you book due to people not turning up. It must cost the industry a lot.

expatinscotland · 04/03/2018 16:12

And you sat there and said nothing to those kids, Lilac? Did you just let them take stuff off your kid? That's how entitled cunts get away with it. 'Excuse me, but we're using those. You'll need to find your own crayons. Off you go.'

Jaxhog · 04/03/2018 16:14

If I didn't already have my food, I would have called over a waiter and politely told him/her that I was leaving. And I'd say why. Until other people vote with their feet, these CFs will keep getting away with this sort of entitled behaviour. In fairness too, it isn't just parents. These people behave like this because we let them get away with it.

I'm not too bothered about people eating their own food in pubs etc. That's up to the pub. But NOT if it means a paying customer can't sit somewhere nice. It's one of the reasons I will always find a seat first and order food second.

milliemolliemou · 04/03/2018 16:21

TheC strangely the OP had a quiet meal disturbed by people who'd had the whole restaurant rearranged, noisy children with their own packed lunches, and what appeared to be an officious and arrogant man. I'd have been noticing, too. But I would have left and made the management know why I was leaving. Problem is the management with a no-booking policy make it difficult for themselves to refuse a booking from this large, demanding and noisy group.

starlightafar · 04/03/2018 16:21

I'm not intimidated by wankers like these. I'd have carried on looking. In fact I'd have stood up and complained loudly when your son was jolted by the MIC

ALongHardWinter · 04/03/2018 16:21

I'm surprised that the restaurant staff didn't say something to them when they got out their own food! IME people who go into restaurants or cafés with the intention of eating their own food usually try to keep a low profile,they don't make a big song and dance about it and behave as if they are trying to get as much attention as possible. Sounds very strange.

YoThePussy · 04/03/2018 16:25

Are you sure MIC or one of the rest of the party wasn’t a minor celebrity? Probably staring hoping to be recognised so he could huff and puff about the strains of stardom.

SuburbanRhonda · 04/03/2018 16:26

Well, I imagine the title got a lot of attention, but all is not what it seems.

What do you mean by this, OP? (If you ever come back ...)

DiegoMadonna · 04/03/2018 16:53

What do you mean by this, OP

I think OP was troll-hunting herself. Foreshadowing, if you will.

SuburbanRhonda · 04/03/2018 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

tillytrotter1 · 04/03/2018 19:52

We had a similar experience when the, then new Harry Potter film came out, we, just me and OH, went early and sat at the end of a row. Just as the programme was about to start a large party came in, along with a member of staff and started telling everyone to move up to fill the odd empty spaces so that she and her hoard could sit on either side of the aisle. I refused to move and she became very abusive, demanding that I be told to move, 'Do you expect my children to sit all over the place? Have you heard of child abuse' My response was 'Have you heard of getting here earlier'.
I was told by a naughty friend that I should have said 'No problem, the police don't think he's a danger to children any more!'

MrsExpo · 04/03/2018 20:17

Most restaurants I’ve ever been in don’t allow the consumption of your own food on their premises so I’m amazed the management didn’t say anything about that alone. Was this a group who regularly eat at the place I wonder?

LilacClouds · 04/03/2018 20:17

Expat - I should have been more direct but there's this thing where you can't actually or be seen to be telling off someone else's child so I think I said "Ooh, there's plenty to share but my DS is using that colour right now so... shall we say you have this, this and this and we keep this, this and this? Is that OK?" etc.

Kid looked at me like Hmm

The mum ignored me and tapped her feet impatiently (she didn't actually tap but she was projecting it Smile) and she did a cats bum face like I was oh so stupid for having a conversation about crayons FGS, I mean what does it matter, haven't you got other things to bother over... was her whole demeanour.

I present myself nicely but she was all expensive looking and offhand, and it did make me feel inferior.

Afterwards of course I wished I'd tackled her bluntly and directly rather than negotiating with the kid, but I didn't have the balls is the truth.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/03/2018 20:24

So the children allowed to eat their own food while this MIC was intimidating people. The manager should have asked him to leave. No two ways about it. If it were group of elderly ladies they'd have been turfed out.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 05/03/2018 00:31

Mic would have been told to jog the fuck on if that was me.

WiddlinDiddling · 05/03/2018 01:19

Not sure why the disbelief that this could have happened..

I've seen this sort of thing over and over, not frequently but, enough to know its possibly quite accurate..

And actually its not a parent/kid thing either - I've witnessed plenty of occasions where a loud and entitled group of people WITHOUT children have taken over a pub restaurant or similar place, making demands and with no concern for anyone elses comforts.

I wouldn't sit there in silence though I would ask to be moved, return death stares with those of my own if necessary and complain to the management - it is after all their job to manage front of house, not simply to deliver food and take money for it, and that sometimes means seating a large group in a differenta rea, makign them wait til that area is free or even telling them that on this occasion their party is too large to be seated together, and defintely telling them to pipe down and behave!

user1483875094 · 05/03/2018 07:06

Jayne Eyre ... exactly, and thank you. A few posters have jumped in already suggesting it didn't happen, - (why would I bother trying to explain how intimidating it was!) - and if we had complained, our lunch would very clearly have been even MORE ruined by the group, particularly MIC as they were ever so obviously out for an arguement! We chose not to give them one!

OP posts:
user1483875094 · 05/03/2018 07:11

Yopussy... thank you, that has lightened the mood on this thread! made me laugh! I am very surprised by how many posters think we should have kicked off big time! We were out for a quiet family lunch, we did NOT go our looking for an arguement and upset. It was more than clear (seemingly to other diners as well) that this party was out "looking" for trouble, and we did not want to be part of it.

OP posts:
user1483875094 · 05/03/2018 07:14

Suburan and Diego.... I don't really understand your posts at all. I also had a lot of stuff to attend to, and couldn't sit on my computer all day. In the past, I have been given some very good advice on here, and folk have given very helpful thoughts and ideas. I don't understand the nastiness of some of you posting, having a go at me because we chose not to go in all guns blazing, when all we wanted was a quiet get together!

OP posts:
BubbaLips · 05/03/2018 07:21

were they travellers by any chance we have had this happen twice where i work.. both times it was a traveller family.

user1483875094 · 05/03/2018 07:25

And widdlindiddlin... thank you, as well. It was extremely weird, and in fact, as another poster has said, it actually WASN'T the children causing the chaos. Apart from one child who started screaming, the rest all seemed quite chilled out, to be honest. I hate confrontation and upset. The "waiters" were all young girls, and I am sure that even if we had complained to one of them, they would have been too intimidated to do anything about it, poor things. In spite of what some posters have "decided" - it happened, it was VERY weird, and I am still convinced it was some kind of experiment to be much written about in some article somewhere. Although I don't think MIC got what he wanted, which was clearly going to be a row with me and my family, if we "dared" to do or say anything!

OP posts: