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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact my flatmate’s parents

40 replies

billsbills · 03/03/2018 15:26

I am currently owed over £150 in bills by my flatmate, who has been staying at her parents for the last week. This might not seem like a lot, but for a student this will end up impacting on me buying food/paying rent in the next few weeks.

She’s been ignoring my messages, and hasn’t said when she’ll be returning to our flat. It would be unfair to ask my other flatmates to contribute the portion of the bills she owes.

Am I being unreasonable to contact her parents in the next few days if she still won’t pay?

OP posts:
Booboobooboo84 · 03/03/2018 15:27

I’d say if she’s ignoring totally reasonable to contact them and make sure she ok and ask them to remind her to get the cash out for her bills on the way back

Confusedbeetle · 03/03/2018 15:28

I would prob message her one more time to say how serious the situation is and that you may have to resort to contacting her parents rather than just doing it

shushpenfold · 03/03/2018 15:29

Nope; I would.

Commuterface · 03/03/2018 15:29

Are her parents guarantors? Is she under 18?
If the answer is no then YABU

PumpkinPie2016 · 03/03/2018 15:31

I would definitely contact them - you could make contact asking if she is ok as you haven't heard from her and also explain that she owes this money for bills.

Are you in uni or private accommodation? You mention that you are students - can your union help?

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 03/03/2018 15:31

My landlord contacted my parents when I was a student due to unpaid rent (I was a financial disaster in my first 2 years). I was so mortified that I’ve never been in uncontrolled debt again. You may be doing her a favour!

MrsHathaway · 03/03/2018 15:32

Depends on your rental agreement. Many students have individual contracts with the LL precisely for this kind of eventuality; but if you've rented as a group then I'm afraid the rest of you are collectively responsible for her share.

How are you intending to contact her family? Is it a landline number?

It sounds very like she could be about to drop out or defer. You need an answer, though, so you can find another housemate if appropriate.

MnaSneachta · 03/03/2018 15:33

I would. It's not fair of her to let other students pick up her bill.

Love51 · 03/03/2018 15:34

I'd ignore commuter. Because someone owes you money, id do whatever to get it back. And put a bill in flakey girls name, let her have the stress!

abigailsnan · 03/03/2018 15:35

I would think if she is a student and over 18 her parents are not responsible for her unpaid bills,I would message her and if there is not signed contract with her tell her that you are now going to re-let the room with immediate effect and see if you get any response that way.Hopefully you can manage to squeeze through until a new flatmate pays a deposit and gets you back on track.

Original poster
billsbills · 03/03/2018 15:38

She’s over 18, and parents are her named guarantors on our tenancy agreement, but the bills in question are heating/water, hence the slight ambiguity of the situation

OP posts:
dadshere · 03/03/2018 15:40

Contact them

galwaygrand · 03/03/2018 15:44

Yep, I would definitely contact them

MichaelBendfaster · 03/03/2018 15:46

Contact them. You can say you're worried as you're not hearing from her and then explain that you need to hear about the bills as they need paying asap.

Hassled · 03/03/2018 15:47

I have adult children - I'd like to think that if they were stupid/sneaky enough to owe their flatmates money then the flatmate would contact me so I could get my DCs' arses in gear. So don't have any qualms about contacting the parents.

Bluelady · 03/03/2018 15:48

Definitely contact them.

Fairyliz · 03/03/2018 15:50

I'm another parent who would want to know; so yes contact them.

Oooeeeerrrrrindeed · 03/03/2018 15:52

Definitely. If they are guarantors for rent then they're possibly open to sorting out her mess still. Do take the angle of 1. You are concerned as she hasn't been in touch re her return to the flat and 2. There are over due bills.

TheFairyCaravan · 03/03/2018 15:52

Ive got an adult son who is a student and I would want to know. I hope they get her to pay up.

Leeds2 · 03/03/2018 15:55

Yes, I would contact them.

If she doesn't pay up, at all, her share should be split between you and the other flatmates. You shouldn't take on all of her shortfall by yourself.

Viviennemary · 03/03/2018 15:56

She has got herself into this mess by ignoring your calls and hiding out at her parents house. Yes you should contact her parents in this case.

Tistheseason17 · 03/03/2018 15:56

Parents are guarantors. Ask them to pay. They will sort your flatmate out!

DalekDalekDalek · 03/03/2018 15:56

I would do as pps have said. Contact them to ask if she's ok because you haven't heard from her and then drop it into the conversation.

I was in your position when I was at uni and I never had the guts to do anything about it and just let her get away with all the money and things she had borrowed and not returned. It didn't do my self-confidence or self-respect much good and she never learned to be responsible for herself.

JaneEyre70 · 03/03/2018 15:58

Yes if she's not giving the courtesy of an answer, and they are guarantors, then inform them.

scaryteacher · 03/03/2018 16:02

I made my ds chase one of his housemates for unpaid bill contributions. Yes, we could afford to pay, but why should we subsidise someone else?

I would have wanted to know if my ds owed money for these, as it would not have been fair on the others in the house, or on the named bill payer.