To think some people can't just skip work because of the snow.

[NameChangedAndForgotOldName]

My grandads carers and nurses haven't been for 2 days even though he's in his last few weeks and my grandma is exhausted.
I've been to help but I'm not a nurse, neither is my grandma.

They live on a main road that's been cleared, I drove there.
I do understand that the carers and nurses might be stuck in their homes but shouldn't the carers service/nurses have found someone else to pop in and do the things we can't?

We're just outside the M25 and our estate has been an ice trap on and off for three days. it clears a bit and people set off to work in glorious sunshine then 30 minutes later it's snowing hard and cars are getting stuck and sliding all over the place. I wouldn't be risking it having found my car turning into a toboggan with the choice of hitting a parked car or the car coming towards me, but no stopping ability. I slid about 20-30m before stopping just before the parked car. Will not be going out again in the car until it's definitely cleared.

But seeing as you have no idea what the other roads are like locally, where the carers are coming from, what the situation is with schools in the area, how many carers the agency have been able to recruit and how many clients they may have who are living alone and thus higher priority, it's probably not a good idea for you to be drawing any conclusions

What, like the posters who are assuming all carers have children at home or are completely snowed in? Ironic

I think if you have a real medical concern I.e. symptoms have changed then yanbu and he needs a review, if you just want someone to eyeball him to check he is ok then no people shouldn't put their lives at risk.

If it is the former then get in contact with the agencies that are looking after him and let them know, they will be prioritising the patients they have to see with the staff they have available. Your relative is lucky he has you nearby and whilst it is not ideal in these conditions I would argue it is acceptable, there are many people in their own who do not have any close friends or family support to call upon.

Hi op, sorry to hear about your grandad, it must be so worrying.

I have been a home carer and a family carer.
If your grandad has mainly "care" needs then it seems for now the family will have to take over until the weather has stabilised.

Are you in an area that has been majorly affected? Where I live in the NW, we haven't been disrupted at all really, no school closures etc.

From here especially I have realised that millions of people have not been as lucky.

What I think many people don't realise is that carers do not have nursing qualifications and can only do so much.

When I was looking after a terminally ill client it was very much about personal care/hygiene and medication if needed.

Nurses can do so much more of course. Does your grandad have nurses? If so then his care needs will be much more urgent.

I would call the agency to see what the situation is and hopefully there will be some contingency plans in place.

This severe weather will hopefully push lots of companies to have a snow policy for the future if possible.

That won't help many like your granddad at this time but lessons should be learned.

Hugs to you

YABU. You gran might be exhausted but she's there. Many live alone and would be at much greater risk than someone living with another.

Why should someone risk their life to get to your grandad? If the carter crashed their car on the way to the call starving to get there would that make you happy?

You've been able to go in yourself, it's just s couple of days, what is the issue?

What things couldn’t you do for 2 days OP? I am genuinely interested. The weather was forecast. Why didn’t family step in with a plan on Tuesday or a Wednesday as a back up if the care team couldn’t get in. Didn’t you think to speak to the Carers for advice early in the week?

I have to say I am at a loss as to who you expected to just pop in.

You should all channel this (understandable) anger into campaigning for more investment in care services. Carers should be paid a decent wage, for a start (this would help with recruitment and with the standards of care given). At the moment it's a low-pay, low-status line of work which means that there are constant staff shortages and a percentage of care workers will be lazy, resentful and probably more likely to bunk off if they can - but this is because people with no interest in or aptitude for the work are shoved into it under threat of benefit sanctions. There are many dedicated, hardworking carers but they can only be in one place at a time and they do have to prioritize.

Have you rung the agency? There will be a reason behind no shows and they can explain that and how they have prioritised. Those who live alone are a priority.

Also from a carer point of view, I've just got home having stayed overnight at work to make sure we were covered because staff can't get in. Its not as simple as popping in.

daily Have you ever had to care for a family member requiring end of life care? If you have then I’m surprised you even need to ask that question.

It’s the agency that should have contacted the family and worked out a contingency plan as they know the staffing levels, the op doesn’t.

I think sometimes it's this lack of compassion to other people that's at the heart of a lot of problems. Everybody now feels like it's their right to have something, it's my right to go to A&E just because I can't get a GP appointment quick enough etc etc. OP your grandad has been cared for, maybe not to the same quality as usual but you have to stop and consider how the weather is affecting infrastructure over the whole country.

Many NHS staff are sleeping at hospitals or going above and beyond so urgent critical care for patients is not overly compromised. Look at the bigger picture, for a few days your family has had minor discomfort but your grandad's normal care will resume as soon as the weather abates. People should not put themselves in danger in the course of their working day, personal safety is paramount

Unless it's for something like a syringe driver, then yes YABU I'm afraid. I worked in care for £7.20 an hour and nearly got killed when my car slid off a road into the hedge on an icy side road. I was trying to get to a patient that had family at home. My DH went absolutely mad at me, and rightly so.
You can easily help someone bathe, get up and get their medication and it's not something that someone needs to risk their life for, is it? It's just frustrating, not life threatening. If he's bed bound, make sure you keep moving him every few hours to avoid pressure sores though.

If you and your family are unable to care for your grandfather adequately, could you transfer him to hospital in the meantime?

Your poor Grandad. It's one of those unfortunate things that is no one's fault.
You can't stop snow from falling. If they can't get there they can't get there.
She cant exactly hire a helicopter. Hoping it clears up soon so everything can get back to normal.

bakingaddict, Has hit the nail on the head OP. I work in the NHS and have been doing 12 hour shifts and commuting in the snow for half an hour each way only because i have a 4x4.

My colleagues are sleeping in any spare beds and in on call rooms. Some nurses haven't got home at all.
I understand your anger but how about you ring up and talk to the people on the other side, and maybe you might realise they're trying their best but right now you're not a priority!

I'm afraid you are being unreasonable.

the care services are on their knees already, they are prioritising people who are utterly alone. Your grandfather isn't. There is another adult there who can call him an ambulance and feed him a sip of water.

It's not fair on your grandma - this country isn't fair right now.

Some people are more risk adverse than others - it’s subjective, as is “non essential travel”

We’re farmers, we’ve been clearing the roads of cars and pulling cars out. The country as a whole are generally not good at driving in the snow and as a result actually cause more harm to themselves and others on the road.

We (collectively - rural village) have been ferrying people to work and checking on vulnerable neighbours - that is what you do. Unless people require incredibly specialist care, in times of adverse weather family and neighbours should rally round for one another for a couple of days until the road conditions are good enough for joe public to drive on.

I'm really sorry about your circumstances OP, but YABU.

My 79 year old DM was due to have a mastectomy this week, has been postponed because they couldn't get something through to the hospital that was necessary for the operation. She's very upset as had steeled herself up for the op and I'd arranged to have time off work to look after her.
A small part of me thinks well they did know in advance about the weather so perhaps they could have got everything through beforehand, but the other sensible side of me is a) relieved I didn't have to try to get to them -an hours drive- in impossible conditions and b) understanding that the circumstances are exceptional.

Carers are poorly paid as others have said and don't get paid for their travel time. They're highly unlikely to be able to afford 4x4s or taxis to their minimum wage job. Your gran is very fortunate that she has you to help her. The weather will improve soon enough to allow people to drive or get public transport safely.

I think it really depends on what tasks he needs done. Home dialysis, syringe driver or toileted and changed?

What type of medical things need doing? Many of these things ordinary people can manage to do, and I say that as a nurse. Does he have dressings that need changing? You’d struggle with a syringe driver, but other things you can figure out.

I work in a community nursing team and we’ve managed all of our essential visits this week but not anything else. Nurses have walked miles in the snow and 4x4 drivers have volunteered time. Someone who is palliative would have been considered essential, especially if they were in pain. However if it was a check visit and your grandma said they could manage then this may have been triaged to later on in the week when conditions improved.

I would call and speak to the Home care agency, adult social care and the nursing team.

What, like the posters who are assuming all carers have children at home or are completely snowed in? Ironic

No, not like that. Because none of them had spoken in an absolute in the way that you did. Your comment was a logic fail.

I’m sorry for what you and your family are going through. It’s hard and I don’t think they are “skipping work” but I wonder if they even contacted you to let you know what was happening. You need to speak to the nursing team if he’s in pain, that’s not ok to leave him suffering.

OP I’m sorry you’re experiencing this stress, but the fact of the matter is calls have to be prioritised and people on their own will need a visit more than your grandad. He may not be getting his usual level of care but his basic needs are being met. If his medical status deteriorates, you can call an ambulance. Your road may be clear but the roads his carers have to travel on to visit higher dependency patients may not be. They can’t be out 24/7, they have to visit those that need them most and allow patients that have families step in to care for them, as they should. Nurses and care staff are doing their level best. I am back on duty at 7am on Monday and the current plan is to walk the 7 miles to my hospital tomorrow evening and spend the night sleeping in a child sized bed on a closed ward so that I can be there for my patients in the morning. Believe me I’d much rather be at home with my own family but my patients need me more than they do right now. And this isn’t unusual, healthcare staff across Ireland and the UK are doing right now to ensure the sickest people get the help they need. Im praying for a bit of a thaw because we currently have 1 metre high drifts but unfortunately we have more snow forecast this evening. But it doesn’t matter, I’ll still do it, it might take me 5 hours to walk it, but I’ll get there. Wouldn’t it be much easier for me to ‘skip’ work?

Excellent post @ReanimatedSGB

I see the OP has goe - but I have to pick up on this comment:

The easy stuff, washing him etc we can do. He's gone from carers 4 times a day and 3 overnights to nothing. It's the medical things and things we might miss on a man that's dying I'm worried about

Carers don't do 'medical things' - they aren't qualified. the district nurse would do 'medical stuff'

And I don't understand why there would be 3 over nights - surely there would be seven? Either over night is needed or it isn't, not just every other night