My PIL stole my vegetables...

[hamandpease]

I’ve name changed for this as it’s a little identifying as I’ve mentioned it to a few people yesterday....

My parents in law have been staying with us for a few days and left yesterday once the snow had calmed down to head back down south. For context my parents in law are lovely and wonderful and nothing like some of the nightmares I read about in here so this is somewhat lighthearted...

Every time they visit whatever they buy, they take home if it hasn’t been used. I would sort of understand if we were talking something expensive and unopened they we were not going to eat (eg lobster???) but we are talking the dregs of drinks and stuff that is open!!

For context they are very generous at Christmas / birthdays etc and are in no way tight or hard up (although paying the bill at restaurants is always a bit awkward and they don’t pick it up, so I pick it up to pay no problem, but then they insist they are paying, it’s always a bit of an interesting pass the bill around dance). There are no issues with disposable income on either side, everyone is comfortable in this.

But when it comes to the fridge if they’ve put it in there they’re taking it with them.

This week we took them out to dinner, they picked up some bits and bobs from the shops the next day. Before leaving I heard them ask my DH ‘are you going to drink this’ re the flavoured water and he replied yes don’t worry it won’t go to waste’, and ‘are you going to use these’ re three lonely carrots and he replied ‘Yes I’m sure they’ll go in something’. Once they’d gone DH went to the fridge a little later and my mother in law has TAKEN THE PEACH WATER AND THREE CARROTS!!!!

This isn’t an issue about not liking waste, they weren't going to waste! But because they bought them they took them!!!

AIBU to think this is crazy?!

It's a very old-person thing to do. Mind you, Ive just realised I'm probably your PIL's age and I certainly don't do things like that.

Drowning they are 59&61!

Mind you, the not paying the bill seems more by design.

Conversely my parents took a very expensive cake (which had been a gift to them) to Christmas with relatives and my aunt wouldn’t let my mum take the leftovers home!

Another way to deal with it is emptying your fridge before they arrive. If they are not using anything that is yours, there is a tiny bit of moral ground on letting them take their leftovers with them.

I had some friends who descended on us, unexpectedly, on NYE. They and their kids ate all the food we had prepared, drink our drinks (they showed with a single bottle of cheap wine then claimed they do not drink wine and started complaining there was no beer available). They brought, however, a small container with lettuce and tomato salad to which they added olive oil and salt from my house (no probs with that). When they left, they really insisted I should give them a lift and took with them the half a plate of lettuce leaves that was left over from their salad (they never returned the plate).

I still love them, but we do not invite them around anymore, it is all let’s meet here or there so they can do their bit by paying their fare.

notsure we don't really do flowers / wine with DH's side (we do with mine!)

I did try at first and they seemed confused as to why I was giving them wine...

'Ah we've already bought wine for dinner'

Yes but you could drink this another time....

They genuinely are wonderful though and so supportive over some v stressful work and wider family situations

They would drop everything and run if we asked

I do like the clingfilming half a tomato for them though

My pil once came from xmas dinner. I bought, prepared and served everything. They didn't bring anything at all. Afterwards they told me to sit down while they cleared up and tidied the kitchen.

I wasn't allowed in the kitchen for the rest of the day but after they'd gone I realised they'd taken absolutely every leftover item. The turkey. The unopened xmas cake. The crackers. They'd put potatoes and coleslaw in Tupperware. Even the napkins.

It was all on display on NYE, at their house, when they hosted a party for their neighbours. They didn't bat an eyelid & I pretended not to notice. So, in comparison, your pil sound ok to me!

I can't stand that kind of mean-ness.

Wow, Rainy, I hope you didn't let them get away with this again?

“It's a very old-person thing to do.“

Bil and sil have been doing it all the time i’ve known them- since they were 25.

Wow Rainy. That is shocking! I couldn’t have let that go. No turkey sandwiches? I’m surprised your DH let them away with it.

My in-laws do this. MIL bought herself a small carton of coconut water last visit and forgot to take it. We were going to visit them about 4 weeks later and she texted me twice weekly to remind me to bring it! They had brought an almost empty pot of coleslaw and a half eaten cheesecake with them!

Do you think its maybe coming from when they didnt have a lot of money and just never got out the habbit of making use of every bit of food they bought?

If they are lovely in every other way then i would resign myself to it (even though its very odd and a bit grabby) and bag it all up for them😀

In my family and ex pil it is the opposite. They bring stuff/buy stuff and leave it for us and vica versa (apart from one relative -i buy lunch and leave laden with home baking😀)

acsec there are more of them out there!!

Everyone has their foibles. Maybe they do it for fear that if they start leaving stuff behind for you, you will recommence your weird wine and flower buying activities.

Oh yes willow I'm never going to say anything about it! DH and I will continue to giggle quietly

Tight! Really can't stand tight people.

It's odd.

I have told this story before but a few years back we had friends of DH's parents come and stay with us for 8 days while they toured our local area. We'd never met them before, and DH's mother asked if we could put them up.

They came, bearing nothing but a single watermelon. For 8 days we fed them, wined them, bought stuff for them so they could make their sandwiches before setting out. At the end of 8 days they took their bloody watermelon with them. I had assumed that was the 'hostess' gift!!!

(The husband of the couple also got strangely cross with me one night when I was drinking beer in my own home. He had a bit of a rant about how unladylike it was and how he would never tolerate his wife or daughter drinking beer. ... a few years later his daughter posed in a trashy magazine wearing nothing but bodypaint so I confess I had a secret giggle about that ).

It was a long 8 days, never to be repeated.

Mine are like this too 😂
Took home my toddlers birthday cake!

Bloody hell, Rainy! That's awful! I wouldn't have been able to let them get away with it!

And that, Fengshui! People are horrendous. Luckily I don't have this problem.

My BIL as SIL do this. We host for a weekend, provide lovely large meals, full fry ups etc and they take the half eaten Pringles they brought home with them when they go. They go through the cupboards looking for it if I've tidied up!

I think deep down they are tight
They don't really want to pay in the restaurant

My nephew and neice do it too but with booze they bring. I don't really mind when they do it though because they're pauper students, I don't drink rum and well, they've started bringing their own booze which is nothing short of a miracle!

justhooking potentially ... but they gave us a huge sum of money out the blue after we got married as an additional wedding present (they had already paid for our honeymoon) so it's the day to day stuff which is unusual