To feel like this isn't quite right?

[NomsQualityStreets]

I am prepared to be told IBU.

Trying to cut a long story short.
DP and I have separate finances at the moment.
I work PT and cover groceries and my car insurance (all I can afford). Everything else is down to him. We have 2 DCs and I do the majority of the childcare as DP has a much higher earning potential.

We are currently renovating our house (out of necessity) and have had to take out a substantial loan in order to get all the work done.

We have been making plans to visit my family abroad as we have recently had DC2 and my DGM is too ill to travel here and I know she can't wait to meet him. She's 86 and her health is rapidly getting worse. I've not been to visit for a year.

DP has recently said that due to the renovation costs he doesn't think we will be able to travel there this year. Around the same time I got some unexpected money from a family member and have told DP about it saying we can use it towards the flights. It's not much but can potentially cover the whole cost or at least the majority of the cost of the flights.
He has now said it would be good if I could use the money for one of the tradesmen we have working here, I pointed out that we didn't account for this cash injection and he countered saying we haven't accounted for the full cost of renovations

He knows it's important for me to go this year.
He's has been trying to say it will cost us a lot of money for the full trip but I reminded him that when we are over there we don't really have any expenses unless we want to nip out for a bite to eat in town or buy a few bits (all optional extras) as my family provide accommodation and all meals etc.

AIBU to think he's being weird and unfair asking me to put this money towards renovations we would have had done regardless of receiving it?

P.s. We apparently can't afford to visit my family (mainly DGM who might not be around for much longer) but we can afford a 600-700 holiday he is wanting to plan for us in May.

I don't think OP said they were DH's debts did she? They may well be debts jointly incurred.

I really think OP needs to understand fully what money her family has. At the moment she seems to have half a story. Whether that's because DH has run up debts on his own stuff that she doesn't know about, or simply that the family is living beyond their means and DH feels obliged to take on the stress of"sorting it" we simply don't know. OP needs to insist that she gets a full picture.

@Yellow, what are you like? Every thread is the same, you have a bee in your bonnet about finances/working arrangements such that you seem to feel the poor men are always being ground down or exploited. Op hasn't said if it was her decision to be part time or not. If her baby is only 4 months old I think she's doing pretty damn well to be back at work at all. And she wants to know the details of family budget/finances, maybe if she had all the info she would decide to up her hours. Why won't he tell her the situation?

It may be that OP decides to cut back on food budget when she sees the state of the finances. I can't imagine being so in the dark as to what goes on!

@Yellow I cover food, my insurance, petrol, gas and electricity to be precise. I have nothing left over usually at the end of the month, if there's something left over it rolls over onto next months budget.

The debt is not mine.

If I worked FT we would need to pay for FT childcare for 2DCs which would most likely be more than Im able to bring in itself.

I think pay for the renovations.

TBH renovations usually run over budgets so I would want to sit down and go through what is essential, what is nice to have, priorities and what needs to be done in what order. Then look at finances and see how long it is going to take with what is available now. How long until prior debts paid off that will release more monthly income etc.

I suppose if your DH has such big debts goes this mean he has history of being a bit shit with money???

Have a great time. (And sot finances when you are back)