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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is my DP for real????

61 replies

AmIOnAnotherPlanet · 02/03/2018 16:22

I am LIVID.

We've been stuck in the house due to snow for the third day in a row. I'm going to go nuts if I stay in much longer. Our 9 month old baby is more irritated and whingey than usual, I assume because she too is sick of the sight of the same four walls.

DP decided to go and play on the PlayStation with his friends (online). LO is obsessed with crawling into the room the PlayStation is located in so DP said "I'll put her in here with me in her jumperoo". Amazing. I'll go upstairs and have some "me time" as quite frankly I'd murder for 5 mins to myself instead of glued to partner and baby for any longer.

I can hear baby cry so I go downstairs and DP is ignoring her. I leave it longer to see how he handles it. I then go down to make her milk, he takes her upstairs to change her. I then hear his friend say to the other "my name won't bother with the baby so he's having to do it".

AIBU to be fuming???

To point out. He plays PlayStation once a week (compromise from twice) and he gives me NO help at all. He'll hear baby cry and ignore and leave me to it.

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIOnAnotherPlanet · 02/03/2018 16:48

Because I'm a fucking push over.

OP posts:
JoJoSM2 · 02/03/2018 16:48

I find your relationship dynamic weird. Why let the baby bother him when he'd arranged a PlayStation session? And choose to go upstairs then? If you're all stuck at home, just make a plan in the morning to decide who's doing childcare when. E.g. He could a couple of hours on the PlayStation and then look after the baby for however long while you have time to yourself.

Ellie56 · 02/03/2018 16:49

6 hours? Shock Does he do anything useful?

Original poster
AmIOnAnotherPlanet · 02/03/2018 16:50

He didn't have a planned session. He gave me two minutes warning

OP posts:
Original poster
AmIOnAnotherPlanet · 02/03/2018 16:50

And he was the one who put the baby in the room with him

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 02/03/2018 16:51

I don't really get this.
If you've got cabin fever, why don't you get whatever clothes on your current weather requires and go for a walk, see a friend, go to a cafe, whatever floats your boat, leaving dd with her dad?

Bexter801 · 02/03/2018 16:53

I understand you don't want to cause an atmosphere,especially with ye all being stuck indoors. You could try plug out the wi fi,but won't be too long before he cops :/ just say you NEED some time to yourself,without hearing baby crying,because obviously that'll make you stress. Could he kindly get off the console and help!

GloGirl · 02/03/2018 16:55

Honestly, red just flashed in front of my eyes so quick reading your initial post!! I'd have had no problem picking up the head set and telling said friend that as the mother to a 9 month old child they can all go fuck themselves pretending their pathetic video games are so fucking important, that I needed a few minutes of quiet after being housebound for 3 days and a husband who considers his "me time" which involves communicating with you wankers. Angry

How very dare they gossip about you when they are currently taking up your resources and your bloody home with their stupid game?

However, why can't your husband have baby at any other time of the day? There's no way mine would game and also have baby - one or the other.

Bexter801 · 02/03/2018 16:55

@arethereanyleftatall Yeah grabbing your coat and going out is a fantastic idea :) milk it,go see friends,go out for dinner,followed by drinks :)

SlothMama · 02/03/2018 17:01

I'd take the fuse out of the routers plug, take him a while to work it out what a manchild

Original poster
AmIOnAnotherPlanet · 02/03/2018 17:01

My friends and family live over 30 miles away and I'm too much of a wimp to drive 🙈.

Might have to put the little one in the sling and go for a walk round the doors... not that there is anywhere nice to walk lol

OP posts:
Qvar · 02/03/2018 17:04

Do it

hey I deliberately blew the fusebox once

Apologised after, and meant it, but fuck me did it feel good.

Greyponcho · 02/03/2018 17:05

Does he, like many gamers, lose all track of time whilst playing?
“Just a couple of missions” can last much longer than they ever reckon for. There’s a good chance he’s losing track of time and therefore not realising the impact of his selfishness.can he really not play later when DC is in bed?

Gemini69 · 02/03/2018 17:05

Go get a big pair of Scissors.... and cut the bloody plug of the game... and tell Him.. to grow the fuck up Flowers

TattyCat · 02/03/2018 17:10

Oh my, I feel old...

I really couldn't ever live with someone who played Playstation (or other) games and put that over and above interacting like an adult.

AmiU · 02/03/2018 17:10

Op, I'm a fellow pushover, but I have 2 DC now with a ridiculous man who doesn't help with anything for the house or kids and plays video games all. The. Bloody. Time.

Just wanted to give you some sympathy. Often, you get asked on MN why did you marry/ pro create with a man like this, but it's not like they ever say 'have a kid with me, I'll be a deadweight dickhead for life', they spin elaborate tales about what wonderful fathers they'll be.

Just learn from my mistakes and don't have another DC till he shapes up. I love my DS unconditionally, but the thought of leaving with two DC is so much more daunting than 1.

HobnobBob · 02/03/2018 17:12

Why does he not do anything? Stop labelling it as ‘help’. It’s not help, it’s parenting and he’s equally responsible. It doesn’t have an opt out clause.

Bexter801 · 02/03/2018 17:12

In that case PlayStation has to go off,fair is fair. He gets to chill,play chat to friends,while you and the baby wander around in circles. Accidentally spill baby's juice on the console

RainyApril · 02/03/2018 17:13

He gives me NO help at all

Do you mean generally, every day or just during his once-a-week gaming session?

Because I wouldn't stand for the former but have some sympathy if that is his hobby and he only plays once a week.

Certainly, if he gets a six hour gaming session every week you should get a similar amount of time for your hobby.

I wouldn't care what his friends are saying. They're inconvenienced every time he leaves the game and are irritated with you for it. They're his friends, it's their job to be in his corner. Hardly your dp's fault if his friends don't like you.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/03/2018 17:15

I wouldn't take the baby in a sling with you. Just go alone and walk. Always clears the brain, regardless of view.

StormTreader · 02/03/2018 17:16

He's playing up to his mates, trying to make out like hes The Man holding it all together, probably because actually he knows he should be helping more with the baby than he does. He'd probably be claiming he was always having to look after the baby to his mates if they were down the pub, its not the gaming, its him being a dick.

Original poster
AmIOnAnotherPlanet · 02/03/2018 17:22

He's upstairs slamming doors now. Wonderful Friday night ahead ay?

OP posts:
Bexter801 · 02/03/2018 17:24

Tell him he has to go,give you a break. Honestly if you let him carry on like a baby,when is it going to stop?

falsepriest · 02/03/2018 17:24

He's not a DP, he's a manchild.

Branleuse · 02/03/2018 17:26

how come hes only allowed to play playstation once a week? This is your husband right, not your child?

It is bloody horrid being stuck in. Weve all been getting on each others nerves too

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