... to just sit here and cry?

[Merryoldgoat]

I’m sorry but I’m at a pity party and I just need to let it out.

I’m two weeks post c-section so have a 2 week old plus my 5 year old DS.

I was discharged after 2 days and came home to a poorly 5 year old with a fever who needed a lot of care.

Managed to get 5yo comfy over the next day or so as newborn started to feed better so was largely positive.

The day 7 post delivery my BP spiked and I was readmitted and ended up so bad I was being monitored every 5 mins at one point.

BP was stable so I was released and came home to a sick 5yo again - horrific cold with chesty cough and terrible nose.

Now I’m sick too. Fever, sore throat, shivers and blocked nose.

In addition, I’ve had to get prescriptions from the doctor for BP meds and a cream for my son. Both times they prescribed things that aren’t available so I’ve had to make a nuisance of myself to get new prescriptions.

My husband has been back and forth in the snow for the medication etc. and we’re just both at the end of our tether.

The people in our support network are ill (one just out of hospital) so there’s not much help plus I wouldn’t want to make them sick again.

I just feel like going upstairs and howling. I’m so depressed and this first month which was supposed to be so happy (after a truly awful pregnancy) is just unraveling.

Sorry for the moan - I just can’t see the end but I know it will get better.

Oh my word, no wonder you needed to post. You are right, it will get better but in the short term things sound really tough. If you were a friend of mine I would happily risk your germs to give you a hand, is there anyone you could contact to see if they can help out for a bit?

You poor thing , you’ve a lot on your plate
Have a good cry , you are allowed
Are there any friends who could help ?

I should add DH is extremely supportive but he’s exhausted too - he’s been mostly taking care of DS5 who is being assessed for ASD and quite a handful at the moment (understandably as he’s got a new baby to cope with and has been ill).

Sounds horrible OP - but it can only get better. Its still very early days and I think most people write off the first couple of weeks after they've given birth...I always feels as if I've been run over by a bus.

Sit in front of the TV, get some family films on and look after yourself. Snow will be gone by Monday, so everything will be easier then anyway.

YANBU OP, that all sounds very stressful and a lot to deal with. Please tell your midwife or health visitor/GP how low you feel.

Thank you Haber and Mavis - your replies have made me cry. I’ve come upstairs for a rest to see if it will make me feel better.

I’m just utterly broken.

Have a good cry. And a good rest. You are recovering from major surgery and now you have an infection on top so you really need to hand everything but feeding the baby over to your dh and concentrate on getting well.

Don't beat yourself up. Feeling like crap 2 weeks after having a baby is completely normal even without being ill. It will get better.

Thank you underneath and hola - your posts mean a lot.

Most of my friends have pre-school aged children or live quite far so getting help at the moment isn’t possible.

It sounds very silly but my mum died (many years ago) and I just know if she were here she’d be looking after me. I feel so pathetic.

Thank you Tallulah.

Enjoy that rest OP. You need a break so you don't burn out. It WILL get better and easier. It's a shit month for bugs and illnesses and we've all been struck down in our house.
Plus this weather becomes a bit tedious after a couple of days! Once everywhere is thawed and you've had a rest I'm sure you'll start feeling much better.

You poor thing. So much going on. Try and sleep when you can, have a nice bath and remember you will feel better very soon.

I’m sorry. What a miserable time you’re having. I know you wanted this first month to be perfect but it’s such a short time and won’t last forever I promise. Hopefully you’ll all be feeling physically better soon and things will seem more manageable.

YANBU - far from it. Two weeks is no time at all to recover from surgery, on top of that you have a new baby, a sick child AND you're ill on top of it all. It makes me feel like crying just thinking about it.

I think society expects far too much from new mums these days. Fifty years ago, people stayed in hospital for 7-10 days afterwards so they could rest and recover. Now, they're rushed off home asap and pretty much left to their own devices. That's fine if you've got plenty of support, but a bit shit if you haven't. And doubly so if you're unlucky enough to get ill afterwards.

I hope you get better soon, and are able to enjoy being with your little one.

Here in Germany you still stay in hospital. I was in for 2 weeks after my daughter was born (had mastitis), would have been at least 7 after a C-section usually.

Chocolates, good TV, cuddly blanket, bath with smelly stuff, maybe get someone in to do some cleaning?

You're having a crap time. No advice, just a hug xxxx

Where abouts are you? (just in case I'm close xx)

YANBU. I had an emergency c section 4 weeks before planned, and we ended up moving house when DD2 was 9 days old. People were great helping us move including a neighbour that had a streaming cold.....at 12 days old DD2 stopped feeding, went blue and had bronchiolitis. We were living with my dad as our house we were buying fell through, and the ambulance couldn't find his house. I had 5 days in hospital with her, felt utterly shit and so cheated that what should have been a special time wasn't in the slightest!!!
It does and it will get better - these things either kill you or make you stronger. You will look back and smile one day, I promise. In the meantime, drop everything apart from looking after yourself and the kids and take it day by day. I'm so sorry your mum isn't there to share this with you .

You are having a rubbish time and are more than entitled to have a pity party! Cosy up and watch as much tv as your 5yo can manage. The only way is up from here, surely!

Things will get better, I promise For the time being do anything and everything to make your lives as easy as possible. So if your older child wants to watch TV all day - let him. If you don't want to cook and clean then buy some really nice ready meals and forget about nutrition for a few days. Or treat yourself to a takeaway. Don't get dressed unless you have to, do the bear minimum in terms of cleaning. Go and have a good cry if you want to and have a nice bath.

This time next week everything will seem better

Both get as much rest as possible. Go to bed when the kids go to bed tonight and sleep. I miss my parents when in crisis it’s natural. It’s been 17 years and 12 years and I still have a little cry. Get as much rest as possible, easy food or takeaways, movies and hugs. Sleep at every possible moment that you can.

Thank you everyone, you’ve all been so kind xx

I’ve had a hot shower and feel a touch better. Hopefully I can have a rest for a few hours until the bed time madness kicks in (for DH - I’m not moving!).

Xx

Skype- Your friends might not be close and your other support may be unwell but a five minute skype can make you feel so much better. You don't even have to tell them how you feel, just asking how they are and remembering there is life beyond your house can really help.

Sending you and your DH and DS a hug x

Aww honey. Definitely call your friends - and don't feel AT ALL bad about doing it. They'll want to be there for you x x x

Oh my goodness of course YANBU. Have as big a pity party as you need to .