To know that I’m unliked by some but not care

[Wishfulmakeupping]

Moved to a new village and new development. Posted previously that there were clique wine nights on the development that I was very much a part of up until they turned on the new lady for no reason bitching about her size etc and I told them to grow up basically and that they were behaving like bulllys.
Wasn’t too concerned not my type of people I don’t do bitching, was friendly with another couple of ladies outside this group so met up with them from time to time and seen my own friends.
Anyway turns out the other two ladies are quite friendly now and I’m not being invited.
On one hand I think fine you can’t like everyone they maybe have more in common with each other than me. On the other hand I think I’ve someone managed to singlehandedly isolated our family from the rest of the development and it would have been nice for Dh to become more friends with their dh’s.
Should I care because I kind of don’t?

Should add Dh says he’s not bothered

No you shouldn’t.

I did the same in my local community when I called out the local charity/PTA/general nosey cow for being fake and not being able to keep her nasty opinions about other people to herself.

It was frustrating watching the people who I had supported avoid eye contact with me at the school gates/local shops for fear of also being ostracised.

But like you I just do not care. I find it quite easy to walk away from situations and people.

We also have family who we are NC with. Some people are always interested to know how we cope without them but the fact is I prefer not having the drama that comes with that contact.

Maybe you are just someone who is intolerant of drama.

We're all unliked by some; I don't think anyone is universally popular

Unless there's a critical mass of people who have a problem with you, in which case it may—and I stress may—be worth revisiting yourself, then all's well and it's great that it's not affecting you

That’s really interesting as I’ve also gone nc with a couple of family members who I thought were being emotionally abusive to Dh and me there wasn’t a blow up I simply didn’t include them in social invitations anymore and reduced contact until eventually nc

What is it with these new housing developments and the weird cliquey communities that live in them? Some are positively odd, with their suspicion of anyone driving through the village they don't recognise. It's all a bit League of Gentlemen. You're best off out of it.

I'm very Marmite myself to be honest. You either do. Or you don't. Like me, that is.

But I always try and do the right thing and can look myself in the eye when I brush my teeth each evening It's good enough.

I’d say I’ve got a 50/50 strike rate stevie although that might be optimistic 🙈

Definitely 90’s ‘hello Dave!’

OMG are you me ? You just described my life !

Really Sporty including weird new build community cliques and everything?

"Hello Dave"

My Dh has just finished working on a new build development and some of the residents have formed a big clique. They've formed a committee and send out angry e mails about pieces of litter in their village or bins being left out over night.
One resident has taken to photographing unknown vehicles driving through the village.

It's pathetic when other residents are ostracized for some assumed petty reason. I hope you get to know some normal people in your development soon.

Thank you yep it is seemed bit intense quickly weekly wine nights etc I’ve got other friends in the village so not universally hated locally just on the development 😂

Life is not a popularity contest 😊

@Wishfulmakeupping yes!!

I always say it's like living on survivor island ... making alliances etc... I love my house but hate it !!

The weak ones will end up being eaten Sporty

well done for not caring. that's 3/4s of the battle.

Mastering the art of not giving a fuck will see you through most walks of life so well done.
Things like this are the pits, grown adults behaving like they are in the playground

@wishfulmakeupping

Don't worry about it OP.

I have seen lots of these cliques (in the neighbourhood, at the school, and in the workplace etc etc,) and without FAIL, they all eventually fall apart, and turn on one another.

It's at that point that women from each side will be bending your ear, slagging each other off, and wanting to be your mate. It's fucking hilarious. You'll see.

Whenever I have a situation similar to the one you describe I remember Winston Churchill’s quote:

You have enemies? Good. It means you stood up for something, sometime in your life

Standing

Up to bullies is a good thing, don’t expect them to like it. But you can always look yourself in the eye

don't worry if they like you, worry if you like THEM!

finally, at the age of 50 I now don't care who does/doesn't like. I know I'm a decent person and if they don't like me, their problem

Thank you all.
Tippz I predicted the same think by summer!

YANBU - in fact I think YAB very sensible.

I did think you might get flamed on here for using the word "ladies," which some people see as a bit archaic and patronising now, but it doesn't seem to have happened so I'm just happy for you that you're not taking any notice of these silly women.

I prefer to keep neighbours, even lovely 'lots in common' ones at arms length. If things blow up/turn sour you are stck with them. A quick chat, put each others' bins in/out and share excess bin space, exchange of cards (Xmas possibly Birthday), give and accept hand me downs check the old gimmer next door is still alive but no coffee dates or invitations. It's better to have different friends where there are set metaphorical as well as physical boundaries. Just works best for me that way. I really wouldn't give a damn about being an outcast, true colours always show up sooner or later then the whole neighbourly love bullshit will implode and those who are too scared to be 'on your side will come creeping back'.
Am making a mental note never to move onto a new build estate as this village friends crap would terrify me and make me so claustrophobic.