Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not travel 150 miles to a funeral today?

75 replies

Onedaynamechange · 01/03/2018 07:16

We planned to go my cousin's funeral today which is 150 miles away. Just watching the weather report which is basically saying don't go out unless you have to, it is in an area which isn't under blizzard conditions at the moment but our journey involves traveling through snowy conditions. Last night I was veering towards not going but her DH has put a passive aggressive meme on FB this morning suggesting people are being a bit pathetic not wanting to travel...if it was me I think I would be telling people "Don't come, the journey will be a nightmare!"

OP posts:
Original poster
Onedaynamechange · 01/03/2018 07:38

It’s not too bad here, snow on the ground but not deep, it’s more the forecast for the return journey tonight that is worrying.

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 01/03/2018 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HairyToity · 01/03/2018 07:43

Ask a family member to represent you. If he cares about people turning up he will care about how much is raised in her name. If I could afford to I would ask family member to put £20 in collection for me.

The return journey will be horrendous. Your cousin would not have expected you to make drive.

Mary1935 · 01/03/2018 07:45

Hi don't go - the weathers to bad and 150 miles is too far. Don't feel guilty either. Her partner is obviously distressed understandable. If it was 20 miles that may be ok - but it may take over 3 hours to get there. Look after yourself firstly and your family.

HillsBesideTheSea · 01/03/2018 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LizzieSiddal · 01/03/2018 07:46

Don’t worry about what others think. 99% of people, including the Police, would think you would be mad to travel today.

Tantpoke · 01/03/2018 07:48

If you feel unsure about going then don't go.

I most certainly would not and would not expect people to make the journey with what are appalling and dangerous weather conditions out there at the moment.

chemenger · 01/03/2018 07:50

Don’t go if any part of the journey is in an amber or red region. This isn’t essential travel. The fewer cars there are on the road, the easier it is for the roads to be kept clear for essential travel. Yesterday it was quite pleasant all morning and I came close to setting off to the vet with my foster cat, a 20 mile trip, just as I would have been on the motorway the snow started. I’m so glad I believed the warnings.

blaaake · 01/03/2018 07:53

Don't go. If he's not a dickhead like the meme makes him appear to be then he won't expect you to travel 150 miles and actually risk your life.

legaladvicepls · 01/03/2018 07:54

If it was my husband or wife funeral, yes I'd be a little upset if not many people made it, but id so much prefer that to everyone trying to get there and having to attend more funerals of loved ones as a consequence of that. In this weather it's a possibility as dramatic as that sounds.

c75kp0r · 01/03/2018 07:56

I wouldn’t go

rogermooresfifthwife · 01/03/2018 07:56

We were supposed to be travelling to my grandma's funeral today but we've had to rearrange the whole thing as nobody could make it. I wouldn't attempt to travel in this weather, look at what happened to the people on the m80 last night!

stitchglitched · 01/03/2018 07:57

Don't go. People here are getting caught out and having to abandon their cars just trying to drive 3 or 4 miles into the city and police are advising nobody to go out unless absolutely essential. I feel sad for her DH but it just isn't worth risking your safety.

PurpleWithRed · 01/03/2018 07:57

It's my mum's funeral on Saturday and I will be encouraging the people who plan to travel to think many many times before setting off. that said, it does depend where you're travelling from/to.

ilovesooty · 01/03/2018 07:59

blaaake - dickhead?

Cut the person some slack. He's grieving.

Xmasbaby11 · 01/03/2018 08:01

I wouldn't go. You'd be risking an accident if you drove back in bad conditions. It's just too far.

snewsname · 01/03/2018 08:06

Tell them you will be having your own special memorial service at the same time. Don't be guilted into a dangerous trip.

twoseven · 01/03/2018 08:08

Don't go, it 's dangerous driving conditions

ArchchancellorsHat · 01/03/2018 08:09

I wouldn't go - I'd apologise and explain that it's 150 miles (each way??) through poor conditions and you're not able to make it. It's bad timing but there's not a lot you can do about it. Sorry for your loss, OP.

Loonoon · 01/03/2018 08:10

Contact her DH (perhaps via someone who lives near him and will be attending) apologise that you can't come and let him know that while the service is on you will be sitting in a local church thinking of him and her. Then write and confirm that's what you did.

pestilentialboundary · 01/03/2018 08:15

Amber and red zones, avoid them.

To not travel 150 miles to a funeral today?
ifonly4 · 01/03/2018 08:15

First of all, you have to keep yourself safe. If you don't go, perhaps, you could visit the nearest family when the weather is better and the grave/cremation place later this year.

We've got away with the bad weather lightly until now, but are the amber zone - our heating was left on low at 17c last night and one radiator has frozen - that shows how cold it is.

If you do decide to go, make sure mobiles are charged up, you've got sleeping bags/blankets in case you have to stay somewhere, a hot drink etc.

Foslady · 01/03/2018 08:17

I'm in an amber zone. All the roads to my workplace are blocked

nothanksbyenow · 01/03/2018 08:17

I love Loonoon’s suggestion, and I wouldn’t drive there either.

HeyhoIndigo · 01/03/2018 08:17

Don't go. You could get stuck anyway. I had a nasty skid on a patch of ice coming home from work last night. I think it was an untreated road and I was only doing 20 mph. It was ok, didn't hit anything but could've been much worse.