to monitor ten year old DD's mobile phone?

[mytether]

Hi all. My DD has just got a mobile phone. She's 10. She does not have social media on it but does have Whatsapp. I have said that she can text her friends etc but that I can go into it at any time to see what is being said (haven't actually done this yet).

I have said this partly because she is in a difficult friendship group at school - there has been bullying in the past (not by her) and I am nervous of how that might translate online. I also manage the amount of time she spends on it (only certain hours of the day) and she doesn't generally have use of it on her own -she doesn't have it in her bedroom at night for example.

Am I being ridiculous? She's more or less OK with these rules, but other parents have suggested that I am being totally unreasonable and even that this is an invasion of her privacy. I am beginning to doubt myself. Sorry, sure this has been done multiple times before.

Why does she need a phone at 10?

Many kids walk to school without an adult or walk short distances to the shops, clubs and friends houses.
It's also handy for divorced parents. A lot of people don't even have a landline these days and they can send sms directly.
Parental supervision is a must at age 10 in my opinion. They need to learn online lessons like not getting involved in other people's drama, not typing anything that you wouldn't want someone else to see thanks to screenshots etc

DD is 11 and I will monitor it as long as I’m paying for it.

"When I mentioned it, she said it was because her DD didn't feel comfortable knowing her conversations could be monitored by me!!" Ha! I'll bet she bloody doesn't! Probably writing really shitty bullying crap!

"as though she has a superior relationship of trust with her DD" no she's abdicated her parenting responsibilities - have you spoken to the school about this family?

What that mother SHOULD be doing is teaching her child to behave - NOT protecting her from the consequences of bad behaviour.

That case referenced by poshindevon is shocking - not that grooming happens but in the very poor initial response from police and ss!

My DS is 11. I check his phone and let him know when a conversation looks a bit dodgy (sly bullying). I think I have terrified him and he hardly says anything on there.

However there have been a few incidents and school have dealt with it. Shows the children that these things are monitored, and actually all the kids seem quite open with what they are doing and knowing they can speak out if someone is being nasty.
Definitely not met a parent who is not being nosy.