To wonder if it’s really sad to live in a house share when you’re approaching 40?

[peppermintlavender]

Am very nearly 38 and considering this. Is it just beyond embarrassing, or is it OK?

It's fine!

Live how you want to live. If others don't like it they can piss off.

My DM is divorced, mid 50s. After selling the marital home and splitting the equity she didnt have enough to buy here alone, and decided instead to house share and work part time. With the lower rent and bills and her equity in savings she works a comfortable amount while still enjoying a lot of free time to spend with family.
Her housemates are generally nice but they tend to all keep to themselves, she has privacy but the benefit of people to talk to now and then.
She seems happy, if it suits you why not?

Agreed with @TheQueenOfWands

Your bills, your happiness, your life.

The only thing I think is 'sad' is people adhering to a set of prissy, unspoken but rigid rules about What Is Age-Appropriate.

I would feel miserable about the prospect of moving back into a shared house, but I guess if you found a really great one with amazing people, it might be okay. I wouldn't judge others as 'sad' but might feel abit 'sad' myself.

It depends who I would be sharing with.

Not sad at all! Do and live wherever makes you happiest.

@peppermintlavender is it you or someone else? Assuming it is you, how do you feel?

It you are happy then it is fine. If not a problem then no one else should ever judge you on your life.

However, if you secretly do want to live elsewhere you can investigate how to do this.

I be friend bought with a housing association he could be eligible for.

Another friend house shared in London for decades. Then in her 40s she had saved enough for a mortgage and started looking at places to buy. She was only able to afford a very small place, but she made the choice to buy. She didn't need to take anyone else's opinions into account as she is single with no kids.

I am sure it was tough for her but it was her choice and so far things are going well. She did not like sharing so this worked for her, but no idea how long she saved for.

I just can’t think of an alternative. I really don’t want to share a house but I don’t have several thousand pounds which is what private renting would entail.

I think it’s great actually. We’re quite hung up about ownership in the UK. Of course, when you don’t have it you may want it but on the opposite side, it enables more financial freedom. Live how you want to live. It’s no-ones business but yours.

It's absolutely fine! Life is constantly in flux, i married early, seperated after 10 years then had DD(4) and fretted i'd done it all wrong, however i have got myself back together just as my pals who married 10 years later are seperating and in a state of upheaval/starting again.
A good friend is renting a grotty house ar 42, shit relationships no savings and recently met a lovely well off man who is spoiling her rotten; life can and does change all the time so you won't necessarily always be in that position and so what if you are? There are more than one way of living says she who lived on a narrow boat for 10 years and in a converted horse box for 2

Why not? My aunt lives in a great house share with two other women and she's in her 70s! She owns a couple of condos but rents them out and just doesn't want the hassle of another property. Works for plenty of people!

Live how you want/how finances allow. Better a house-share than financial difficulties. Nothing sad about it at all.

PS. If you have your health and happiness a few good pals and enough to live on then you are doing alright. I often bitterly regret not studying nursing and if i were in a position to do so would throw everything into achieving this so actually envy you (ADORE DD but there are positives and negatives in everything!).

Depend who you house share with.

If they're also mid/late 30's - 40's I think it's fine and you could end up really enjoying it. If they're early/mid 20's then you'll end up feeling really old either with them viewing you as the 'mother' of the house or with them feeling sorry for you because you're 'still' house sharing. My friend found herself in this position at 34 after splitting with bf after 7 years and unable to afford renting on her own. She experienced both of the above.

The Golden Girls were a lot older! It could be fun, but I wouldn't want to share with twentysomethings either.

I think it's inevitable for lots of people. if you earn an average amount and don't have any housing association options, then sharing is it really!

I would say, you can look at it positively or negatively, as long as you really chose carefully and move in with likeminded people you will be ok. and make friends! I think it could be life changing in a good way.

It's fine, OP

I’m 50. I certainly can’t afford a whole house to myself.

It is fine. I have several friends of 40ish who do. Please don't worry, just find a nice room share, enjoy life and don't worry about what people think, ever!

Live how you want to live. If others don't like it they can piss off. Exactly.

Life happens.
Rents are expensive. We can't all afford our own place. It's great to share company and share life.

Unless you're like the Odd Couple.

(I bet there is scope for a new sitcom based on middle aged house sharers)

Yanbu
My lovely friend house shares in her 40s because it's the only way she can afford to live in London.

I wasn’t necessarily envisioning becoming friendly with others - I prefer keeping myself to myself really.

In many ways, you are better off than a lot of people in relationships. They are essentially house sharing with their DP, and they don’t even get a whole bed or room to themselves!